He ghosted me after he opened up and got intimate

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He ghosted me after he opened up and got intimate

Unread postby xxbm2l » 20 January 2021, 13:37

I, 30M, met this guy 30M. We met back in November and continued texting until now. We barely saw each other in December cause of the holidays and he was busy with other things. Last week he invited me over to his place (since we can't do anything in this city anyway) so we are playing PS4, talking, he orders food, continue playing PS4, etc. Then we put on a movie and within 45 mins in we are cuddling. Cuddles turn into making out and then he STOPS and says he does not want to have sex. He doesnt want to rush into things. I told him I completely respect that and we continue cuddling in our boxers watching the movie. While watching, he continues wrapping his legs around mine, kissing my neck, holding me tighter and asks if I'm comfortable, hot, cold, etc. The movie ends and he continues making comments about my legs, butt, etc. We are in bed just talking life, he tells me how he tends to isolate himself and can be a loner sometimes and how all his friends tell him he needs to snap out of that, he's been heartbroken before (2 years ago) and we keep talking about other things. Also, out of the blue he said " you know I never bring guys to my place, let alone my bed"
If he was a fuckboy he would have at least wanted head or something. He didnt' show me his dick or anything. He did;however, grab my ass and said "wait let me see something" he lifted my boxers slightly down and said "damn" quickly bit it and put my boxers back on.

I'm very confused at this point. He gives me signs he is just scared of getting to know guys or still hung up on his ex. We continue talking and it gets late. I head home.

After that the texts began getting very dry. I'm not sure what happened. He responds if I reach out but doesnt seem to continue the conversation. We've known each other for two months, this was our second time hanging out.

I decide to text him that I hope everything is okay and that I sensed he was quiet after our hangout. He responds that he had a very busy week at work (mmhm) and then I ask how is day went---

NOTHING. He doesnt answer me.

Did he just get scared at the idea of liking me? I didn't think I was clingy at all. I gave him space. He clearly had some interest if he continued cuddling and kissing, if not he would have just pushed me off.

But the second I left his place I knew something felt off because he didnt look me in the eye as I left...

Sorry for the long rant. Your thoughts would help.
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Re: He ghosted me after he opened up and got intimate

Unread postby René » 20 January 2021, 13:44

That sucks, when everything seems perfect and amazing and then suddenly you don't know what's going on...

Some guys are weird/awkward about texting. Eye contact can be an autism-spectrum thing; doesn't necessarily mean anything. He sounds very vulnerable. Maybe he got kinda traumatised in the past and it's hard for him to get close to people.

There are all sorts of possibilities; you shouldn't jump to conclusions.

You're gonna have to communicate, express your feelings, be patient with him, and try to figure things out together.

Good luck! :hug: Let us know what happens!
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Re: He ghosted me after he opened up and got intimate

Unread postby xxbm2l » 20 January 2021, 13:49

René wrote:That sucks, when everything seems perfect and amazing and then suddenly you don't know what's going on...

Some guys are weird/awkward about texting. Eye contact can be an autism-spectrum thing; doesn't necessarily mean anything. He sounds very vulnerable. Maybe he got kinda traumatised in the past and it's hard for him to get close to people.

There are all sorts of possibilities; you shouldn't jump to conclusions.

You're gonna have to communicate, express your feelings, be patient with him, and try to figure things out together.

Good luck! :hug: Let us know what happens!


Thank you! I tried to be patient. I'm big on communication thats why I reached out and asked if everything was okay. He said yes he's fine, just a busy week at work. And he never responded when I asked about his day. I'm obviously not going to reach out anymore and I doubt he will come around...
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Re: He ghosted me after he opened up and got intimate

Unread postby René » 20 January 2021, 13:56

Not everyone is checking their phone and texting all the time. There's room for misinterpretation here. You obviously like this guy a lot. I think I would at least send a final message explaining e.g. that you really enjoyed seeing him, really like him and aren't sure what's going on, why he's not responding etc. You'd love to hear back from him but won't push it if he doesn't feel the same way. You wish him all the best.
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Re: He ghosted me after he opened up and got intimate

Unread postby Jzone » 21 January 2021, 01:31

That sounds very frustrating. I would just ask if he wants to hang out for games and a movie again. He may be scared of getting involved and being heartbroken again. If he doesn't respond to that, then I would be done. If he does, see if you can continue being friends and hopefully friends who cuddle. If you have only hung out twice so far, give it more time.
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