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**Eos** · by **Eos** » 19 August 2020, 06:34

If you're not okay right now I'd say focus on yourself first, heal yourself, get some time to think and when you're ready see if you really want him in your life or if it was for any reason that is no more.

**dragonfire** · by **dragonfire** » 19 August 2020, 10:30

**Eos** · by **Eos** » 19 August 2020, 18:42

Think about it that way : if you are angry or in denial, you'll be going backward.
In my opinion, you should first feel good. Be Ok with yourself. That's the only way a relationship can be build.
It might be tough alone, but in the end you might find help where you did not expect (if you try to look for it, that is), and you should grow stronger from this.
Do not worry, time has the gift to heal all the wounds. The beginning is always hard.
I don't know where you live or how old you are, but depending on those you might get free assistance from psychologist. Or go to your doctor.

**dragonfire** · by **dragonfire** » 19 August 2020, 19:11

**Jasper1** · by **Jasper1** » 19 August 2020, 21:31

One day at a time. Breakups are always difficult Very rarely are they mutual decisions so someone is going to be hurting. Unfortunately it’s you this time but as Eos said, time is a great healer. It might not feel like it now as it’s early days and raw but the pain will go.

You do need to busy yourself with something to take your mind off of it. If you have hobbies then throw yourself into them. Maybe join a gym so you have a routine, it will help your mental health and well-being and can even be a good way to socialise.

Ultimately your going to have to go through some pain before it gets better. It happened to me once and I distinctly remember thinking I wish I could fast forward 2 months as I know I’ll feel different. If only life was this simple.

It will get better.

**dragonfire** · by **dragonfire** » 20 August 2020, 01:49

**dragonfire** · by **dragonfire** » 20 August 2020, 13:15

**Jasper1** · by **Jasper1** » 20 August 2020, 16:17

Well, sorry if this sounds harsh but I thought it was a bad idea from both sides to pretend you can go from being lovers to being friends. It’s his way of letting you down easy and it’s your way of hoping he changes his mind. Ultimately your both pretending.

The quickest way to heal is cold turkey. When it happened to me i forced myself to delete numbers, pictures and not to look at any social media shit that makes you think you’re missing out on something.

You need to force your mind to operate without this person.

Good luck!

**dragonfire** · by **dragonfire** » 20 August 2020, 16:58

**Eos** · by **Eos** » 20 August 2020, 19:34

I think you need to realize that if you're not okay with yourself, you'll never build anything that lasts. Being hopeful or hopeless shouldn't matter if your mind isn't even ready to acknowledge that there might be better people than him. Maybe he will change his mind, maybe he won't, you have no power over that. The only thing you can control is yourself. So start living for yourself first. I'm not saying it is easy but you need to go that way.

**Jzone** · by **Jzone** » 20 August 2020, 19:42

It has been said that time heals all wounds, but I'm not so sure. It will hurt less anyway. A guy like me saying "you are young, you will get over it" wouldn't mean much to you in the moment. I do suggest you put some space between the two of you for now, so you don't drive yourself crazy. Maybe you can come around to being friends again down the road, but take a break to clear your heart. We can't feel love if we don't open ourselves to pain too. It's worth the risk in the long run.

Welcome back, Dragonfire.

**dragonfire** · by **dragonfire** » 20 August 2020, 21:14

**Eos** · by **Eos** » 21 August 2020, 05:15

dragonfire wrote:Thank you Eos and Jzone. I really appreciate your responses.

I think it's getting better. We talked again and this time I didn't beg, I was able to accept this was happening and begin to understand why.

I will no doubt feel worse again before I feel better, possibly for months or longer, but at least we are working this out.

Like you said Eos I need to focus on myself. And like you said Jzone, time while not eliminating all pain at least may help. Thank you for saying those things. And for the welcome back too.

Time doesn't heal everything perfectly, sometimes it leaves a scar, but it will never stop you from living.

I'm happy you see it that way, good luck for the coming days.

**dragonfire** · by **dragonfire** » 21 August 2020, 19:07

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