Help understand the situation

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Help understand the situation

Unread postby Jeck16 » 19 October 2021, 17:01

I had a corporate party at work, not long before that we had a new employee. I very vaguely remember part of the evening and in the morning I woke up in an embrace with a colleague. I am rather embarrassed about this, because I did not advertise my orientation at work. In the morning we woke up, got together and parted, but not the next day he just mentioned in conversation that I "sleep nicely", today for some reason stroked my back and constantly awkward glances. I was sure that he was not gay, but now I cannot understand if this is so. How can you check this? I don’t want to ask directly

Sorry for my English..
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Re: Help understand the situation

Unread postby pozzie » 19 October 2021, 19:22

Hello and welcome to the forum! :)

You haven't said if drinks were part of the work party, but that is often true. Otherwise, you must have been very, very tired to wake up with a coworker. This is a difficult situation because it mixes personal life with working life.

I'm sure a private investigator could tell you more about your coworker's private life, but that seems very creepy.

From what I read, I think he is trying to tell you something. It might be that he is interested in you OR it might be that he doesn't want you to worry about what happened.

I see two choices here: 1) When you two are able to talk privately, tell him something like, "Let's stay professional at work and not be too friendly." That would set a boundary to the working relationship. He might say something like, "But I thought, because of what happened at the party, you wanted ... " This would allow you two to discuss what happened and then you can decide what to do.

OR 2) You could ask him. I would invite him to grab lunch or drinks after work (though it might be difficult if other coworkers usually go as a big group). That would give you a chance to ask him about that night and his actions since.

While he probably is interested in you, he could also be a really friendly guy. I've known straight men who hug - maybe not at the office, but I don't know what kind of job you do.

Good luck dealing with this awkward situation!
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