How do I tell him I love him ?

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How do I tell him I love him ?

Unread postby naskurnarah » 4 February 2019, 19:49

I am gay, and have a gay friend from college. I love him so much, but I don't have the courage to tell him. I don't know if he has feelings for me. A few details:

1. We have never had sex.
2. He's single, though he has dated a few guys in the past. I have never been in a relationship.
3. He's leaving the city in another six months to go abroad for higher studies, so I don't have much time.
4. He is way more good looking than I am, and that's what makes me very nervous.
5. If at all he isn't interested in me, I still don't want to lose his company.

How do I drop a hint ? How on earth do I tell him I love him ? :) Any suggestions ?
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Re: How do I tell him I love him ?

Unread postby Eryx » 5 February 2019, 02:43

My suggestion is, if you want to stay friends with him even if he doesn't reciprocate, don't start by saying you love him. You can be a little more subtle, tell him you enjoy his company and that you'd like to ask him on a date. If he's interested in you at all, that's where you can develop the relationship, and if not, just tell him that it's okay and that you'd like to still stay friends.

Being too touchy or around people all the time from the start, announcing you love people too bluntly, those are things that push people away a bit. They're too forward, too intense.

Number 3 does pose a much bigger problem, though. I tend to think he's not going to be so inclined to get into a long distance relationship if he's had other boyfriends before. LDRs are extremely taxing and constricting, I often see it happening (and working) with people who are in their first relationships and still willing to hold out for longer periods of time. People who are experienced with relationships (and sexual encounters) generally just prefer to enjoy their time abroad rather than leaving that part out.

Good luck either way!
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Re: How do I tell him I love him ?

Unread postby Vertical » 8 February 2019, 00:51

We want to be loved by the people we love, but being loved by people we don’t love puts a burden on us because those people are vulnerable and may kill themselves when rejected too harshly, or, even worse, may survive but suffer from permanent injuries. Only experience helps to find the best balance between rejection and accommodation. Which explains why an unexpected profession of love that comes out of nowhere may complicate or ruin matters.

He is way more good looking than I am, and that's what makes me very nervous.

There was a young beauty in my coming out group, and when I asked him what attracts him he gave me the name of a singer. I was shocked when I finally found the photo of an old man with ruffled hair. Later he had a middle-aged boyfriend who looked like a plucked chicken. To each his own! Never jump to conclusions.

There are many reasons for being nervous in front of the beloved. The main reason is that it is highly unlikely for your supply to meet his demand. There is a reason for the vast number of love songs in the minor key. Take it easy.
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Re: How do I tell him I love him ?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 8 February 2019, 03:42

You could always try stalking him, crying hysterically outside his window. :shrug:
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Re: How do I tell him I love him ?

Unread postby dicksonllee » 9 February 2019, 14:00

poolerboy0077 wrote:You could always try stalking him, crying hysterically outside his window. :shrug:

This. Don't tell him you love him, make him fall in love with you instead. Try watching the Netflix show "You" for reference.

Good luck. :applause:
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