How do you know if someone is gay?

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How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 17:59

Hey guys

I know it's not black and white but I'm wondering if you have some hints to share. For example, seeing an unmarried man over 40 might say that this person could be gay. It's not 100% proof but you know...
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 May 2019, 18:18

Easy! You don't unless they tell you or show you. You can observe them and take educated guesses but it's never going to be 100%
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 18:26

Jryski wrote:Easy! You don't unless they tell you or show you. You can observe them and take educated guesses but it's never going to be 100%


I totally agree on the fact that we cannot be sure 100%. But you know... You can hardly ever see a straight guy with tons of male portraits at home :). We should more focus on %80 rather than to be sure of 100%.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 May 2019, 18:30

He could be bi or he's just really into sports or body building?
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 18:37

Jryski wrote:He could be bi or he's just really into sports or body building?


I think I said ''some hints'' not ''some facts'' :). So all the things you say is quite possible. I'm asking this because i live in an opressed society. I want to know that I'm not alone, and maybe even make some contact. If you mistakenly asked a straight out here, you'd probably be beaten so hard. So, reducing the risks is better than risking randomly.

I'm not gonna say someone that I like them but I'm just...
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 May 2019, 18:41

I know, and it's tricky. I believe the main religion in turkey is Islam? Yeah I honestly have no idea what to tell you. Be safe and cautious. The internet's a good way to start to connect in your case.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 18:48

Jryski wrote:I know, and it's tricky. I believe the main religion in turkey is Islam? Yeah I honestly have no idea what to tell you. Be safe and cautious. The internet's a good way to start to connect in your case.


Yeah... it's Islam. I try to be but the culture is pressuring us a lot. everyone keep asking each other ''are you not marrying'' and many similar questions that makes me nervous and that's why I become antisocial. I think no religion supports gays but the thing is that some countries are much modern, progressive and open-minded. I have a lot to experience but nothing experienced...
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 May 2019, 19:01

Yeah I wish I have advice for you but I don't. This isn't within my area of expertise. I do encourage you to find gay safe spaces online where you can chat with others in similar predicaments though! I get what you mean about the marriage questions. Haha I'm only 25 and my dad is already pressuring me to marry a woman and hve kids already. Having to hide who you are is not pleasant at all.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 19:07

Jryski wrote:Yeah I wish I have advice for you but I don't. This isn't within my area of expertise. I do encourage you to find gay safe spaces online where you can chat with others in similar predicaments though! I get what you mean about the marriage questions. Haha I'm only 25 and my dad is already pressuring me to marry a woman and hve kids already. Having to hide who you are is not pleasant at all.


yeah... Internet is fine but things are always about sex on the Internet. I think i also look for friends. it's hard to find. you'll say i shouldnt give up but i know it's not much possible in my country. many look for only sex :sadblue:

So I suppose you have the same problem about pressure :) you're only pressured by your dad. I'm pressured by the society... I hope things get better.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 May 2019, 19:11

I couldn't care less about society's expectations on relationships. Family is the biggest hurdle. I grew up in a strict religious family and I got myself the hell out of there. Unfortunately you can't afford not to care. Safety is the number 1 priority. Hahaha yeah the sex is everywhere
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 19:17

Jryski wrote:I couldn't care less about society's expectations on relationships. Family is the biggest hurdle. I grew up in a strict religious family and I got myself the hell out of there. Unfortunately you can't afford not to care. Safety is the number 1 priority. Hahaha yeah the sex is everywhere


if I come out here, the things that'll happen;

1) being killed, harmed or bullied
2) being fired from work.
3) no friends
4) not being able to find a job
.
.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Jryski » 6 May 2019, 19:20

Yep I know. *virtual hugs* do what you feel is safe. You know your situation and environment best.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 19:23

Jryski wrote:Yep I know. *virtual hugs* do what you feel is safe. You know your situation and environment best.

thanks a lot :) .
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Eryx » 6 May 2019, 20:12

If I came from a place like Turkey, I wouldn't even bother trying to make it work there. It's easier to just leave to a place that is more accepting and start over after getting there.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 20:18

Eryx wrote:If I came from a place like Turkey, I wouldn't even bother trying to make it work there. It's easier to just leave to a place that is more accepting and start over after getting there.


Easier said than done mate :). I've searhed every opportunitty but there's no way. I think I need to just try it here.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Eryx » 6 May 2019, 21:30

Yeah, I know it's not easy, but there are alternatives.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Martian » 6 May 2019, 22:04

Eryx wrote:Yeah, I know it's not easy, but there are alternatives.


for example?

I dont think there is :sadblue:
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby dicksonlee » 23 May 2019, 08:09

Martian wrote:
Eryx wrote:Yeah, I know it's not easy, but there are alternatives.


for example?

I dont think there is :sadblue:

I'm interested to know too, it's hard for me to just go work in another (western) country because I don't have the skill nor the money to do so. I don't really want to move to another country to wash dishes.
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby Eryx » 23 May 2019, 14:28

I guess the best alternative is always improving your education. Right now I'm pursuing more languages so that I can work as a translator and interpreter, and that opens the path for me to work in other countries, either for Brazil in an official capacity or privately, in big tech companies that need their websites translated and companies in general that are looking to expand their reach.

If you have something valuable to offer to the market, they will pick you instead of other people, and that's how you get somewhere. My godmother left Brazil after graduating in Computer Sciences, lived in the Netherlands, Portugal and now Luxembourg, and her first step was graduating and getting a respectable resumé. The rest is history.

There is always a way to escape if you really work on that. I don't really want to leave Brazil anymore, but I know I can if things turn south or if I decide I want a change of scenery...
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Re: How do you know if someone is gay?

Unread postby dicksonllee » 23 May 2019, 16:00

Hmm... Interpreter sounds nice... I know malaysia sign language, it's somewhat similar to ASL, and also I know chinese, english, bahasa indonesia, and I'm working on my spanish (learning new language is kinda like my hobby right now). So I guess I can give it a try? :)
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