How to ignore his presence?

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How to ignore his presence?

Unread postby Phantom84 » 17 October 2020, 16:00

Hello LOVELY people!

It is high time to share my story with you and ask for advice. I would like to know how could I avoid someone who is genuinely damaged in the head. Or at least, his behaviour is ill.

Years ago I met a guy from a dating website. Straight looking and acting, calm, a bit gritty on the edges as he loved to introduce himself. With few years experience in martial arts under his belt. I was interested, but he didn't seem so. In fact he was throwing some shit in my face, kinda based on racism and my origin, because I am not a native here. I regret for not walking away on this day. Many months later I realised that he enjoyed throwing provocative things into people's faces and watching their reactions.

Out of the blue this guy declared that he started fancying me. This happened two months after we first met. We maintained until then some sort of friendship. We were dating occasionally after he first demonstrated interest in me and we had some fun (damn me, why I agreed to this). Another few months passed and this guy declared that he was in love with me. I told him that I needed my time, I was not playing with him, but how could I be sure in his feelings because the racist rubbish he threw in my face. He started being more and more demanding. Then he showed his real personality. He had unhappy childhood, bullied at school, hating his lean body, without friends,full of shit, lone wolf. By declaring his love to me, he was expecting me to save him. He wanted my friends, he wanted my adventures and life experiences. And when I got my scuba diving certification he was green with envy. Because he never had the courage to do it himself. In addition, he was desperate to keep me in his life because I already started drifting away from him. He even expressed his desire to join me in my martial arts club. I said NO. Have I said that he was tested positive with syphilis, thus putting me at risk of contracting it? Anyway, this person was causing too much hassle, I had enough of his clinginess and mood shifts (he can be aggressive). So I went cold turkey for about a year.

In the meantime he joined the same sport classes as me but in another club. He got his scuba diving certificate too. I knew nothing about it. Until one day I found out. I needed to get extra training because of an upcoming competition and his club was the only option. I spoke to him then. It is normal for someone to get extra training. His feelings about me were still the same, he said that I can join the club if we had sex. I refused. I went to ask his coach if I could join for extra training. But this guy was faster, he blackmailed me to his coach and my request was refused.

He portrayed me as a bully. He said that I am racist. He made himself the poor victim in the face of his coach. And he succeeded. He is so full of shit, that he wants to excel in something and then to look down on me. And he likes playing the victim. To beat me in my game. I don't know what to do. Surely we will come across again, there are a few clubs for my sports in the country. How can I handle him? This is inferior person, who has nothing left but to make others miserable.

My coaches know about all this. They are supportive. I can still train with them after the COVID restrictions are lifted for contact sports.

I am so sorry for writing so long. Just the situation is very sticky. Thank you for reading this.
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Re: How to ignore his presence?

Unread postby Jasper1 » 19 October 2020, 11:26

It all sounds extremely childish to me. I find it hard to believe grown arse adults behave this way.

The simple solution is to cut ties, tell him nothing more is going to happen between you but if you see him around you’ll say hello.

Then get on with your life, go to whatever clubs you want to and don’t get involved in the juvenile telling the teacher nonsense. It’s seriously a complete waste of energy and so immature.

Damn, I sound old! :argh:
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Re: How to ignore his presence?

Unread postby GearFetTwinkRomance » 19 October 2020, 22:39

I don't lnow how old that guy might be, or how susceptible to direct talking, but if he doesn't leave you alone after telling him to move out of your pathways, I'd recommend looking for help at the police station.

He seems to try a little para-stalking, combined with manipulative games. As his description sounds sort of borderline, don't signal him anything inarticulate.
About the manipulative behaviour: Gotta tell him that kind of shyte won't fly.

How far away are the other budo clubs? If there's no need to use the one where he trains at, just avoid all them ties.
If ya want to hang with me, let's go windsurfing!

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