How to meet men

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How to meet men

Unread postby Lord Dweebington » 17 January 2021, 09:11

Okay, the title might be cringey, but I've actually been struggling to find a place to even meet a man. I have virtually no relationship experience, and have only been out for a few months. I want desperately to meet somebody, but don't know how or where. Does anyone have advice on how to go about this?
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby str8bttm » 17 January 2021, 10:29

Lord Dweebington wrote:Okay, the title might be cringey, but I've actually been struggling to find a place to even meet a man. I have virtually no relationship experience, and have only been out for a few months. I want desperately to meet somebody, but don't know how or where. Does anyone have advice on how to go about this?



Have you tried dating apps? That would be one way. Mostly everything is closed.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby René » 17 January 2021, 13:49

Possibly not the best time to be meeting anyone new (I don't know about where you live, but here I believe it's actually a criminal offence at the moment as we're in lockdown).

Having said that, in my very limited experience from before the pandemic hit, the app Tinder is a good choice if you're looking to get to know someone and maybe find yourself a boyfriend. :3
(There will still be people looking only for sex, but fewer than on something like Grindr. Conversely, you can get lucky on Grindr and find someone looking for a relationship, but your chances are much better on Tinder.)
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby OutsideIn » 17 January 2021, 19:25

I can't really give much dating advice, but I would recommend waiting to meet someone until the social distancing restrictions are relaxed. The vaccinations are going slower than expected, and it will take a while for enough of the population to be vaccinated before we can resume even semi-normal activities.

After that, you will probably have to try a few different tactics before you determine the best way to someone in your area. It can be very different based on your location in the U.S. You can try searching online for clubs if you prefer to meet in person, or you can try dating apps and websites if it is easier to meet people online.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby Lord Dweebington » 18 January 2021, 03:30

René wrote:Possibly not the best time to be meeting anyone new (I don't know about where you live, but here I believe it's actually a criminal offence at the moment as we're in lockdown).

Having said that, in my very limited experience from before the pandemic hit, the app Tinder is a good choice if you're looking to get to know someone and maybe find yourself a boyfriend. :3
(There will still be people looking only for sex, but fewer than on something like Grindr. Conversely, you can get lucky on Grindr and find someone looking for a relationship, but your chances are much better on Tinder.)

Thank you for the advice. Of course I was thinking that dating apps were the obvious answer, but I had heard that hookup culture was big on those. I'll give Tinder a shot if dating somewhat common on there. As for shelter-in-place, restrictions are being lifted somewhat since analysis has shown that dining in isn't a contributor to cases in my state. I'm appreciative of your explaining of this to me. I was frankly a bit worried my sheer inexperience would get me some kind of negative reaction.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby rogonandi » 18 January 2021, 04:56

No one ever meets people anymore. This is the age of the virus now! :pfft:
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby Eryx » 18 January 2021, 13:34

Lord Dweebington wrote:As for shelter-in-place, restrictions are being lifted somewhat since analysis has shown that dining in isn't a contributor to cases in my state.
Hmmmm it's still an issue to meet someone previously unknown though. Unless you don't care and/or don't come into contact with people who are more at risk.

But in general I agree, Tinder is better for dates and Grindr is better for sex. But both can happen at both.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby René » 18 January 2021, 14:21

Eryx wrote:
Lord Dweebington wrote:As for shelter-in-place, restrictions are being lifted somewhat since analysis has shown that dining in isn't a contributor to cases in my state.

Hmmmm it's still an issue to meet someone previously unknown though. Unless you don't care and/or don't come into contact with people who are more at risk.

I would definitely be sure to be taking large amounts of vitamins D3, C and K2 (MK-7) and zinc to reduce the risk of seriously unpleasant (even if not likely to be fatal) illness.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby Lord Dweebington » 18 January 2021, 20:20

René wrote:I would definitely be sure to be taking large amounts of vitamins D3, C and K2 (MK-7) and zinc to reduce the risk of seriously unpleasant (even if not likely to be fatal) illness.

I should take vitamin C regardless tbh, my city never gets much sun in the winter. What do the rest do?
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby Lord Dweebington » 18 January 2021, 20:27

Eryx wrote:
Lord Dweebington wrote:As for shelter-in-place, restrictions are being lifted somewhat since analysis has shown that dining in isn't a contributor to cases in my state.
Hmmmm it's still an issue to meet someone previously unknown though. Unless you don't care and/or don't come into contact with people who are more at risk.

But in general I agree, Tinder is better for dates and Grindr is better for sex. But both can happen at both.

I have an apartment move and spring semester starting next month, so I probably won't be doing much until vaccines are hopefully more widely available. Regardless, I share your concern and won't go out unless I'm sure they're at least just as safe as I am.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby René » 18 January 2021, 21:16

Lord Dweebington wrote:
René wrote:I would definitely be sure to be taking large amounts of vitamins D3, C and K2 (MK-7) and zinc to reduce the risk of seriously unpleasant (even if not likely to be fatal) illness.

I should take vitamin C regardless tbh, my city never gets much sun in the winter. What do the rest do?

The sunshine one is D. Lots of people are deficient.
Each of the things I mentioned has at least tentative evidence/indications that it will reduce the risk of serious Covid. Prevent the immune system going crazy and attacking your own cells and things like that. And K2 is important if you take D. Probably best to take some magnesium as well when taking D, come to think of it (I forget the reason). :P

Taking all these things together is probably a great risk reduction.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby Magic J » 18 January 2021, 21:32

Men are commonly known to congregate in several places, including: sheds, motor racing circuits, hiking equipment outlets, and around barbeques or open fires. Approach the men with caution, bringing with you supplications of beer and meat. All going well, the men will allow you to look at their stuff, which may be anything from variously shaped bits of metal, to small plastic figurines. These things are typically accumulated in large quantities, and they are immensely proud of them. Be sure to ask questions about their stuff. If the men proceed to ask questions about your stuff, you have done well.

If you'd made it this far, you may proceed to step two. The beer shall be consumed. They will begin shouting at things. You, too, shall shout at the things they shout at. A car will be brought, and the engine unveiled. You shall be informed that the engine does not work properly. All shall gather around the engine, for every man present is wise to its ways, and they shall inform you why it works not. Despite this, the engine shall go mysteriously unfixed. Make sure to point at the engine, nodding and frowning, until all are agreed that the engine is indeed broken.

Now you have earned their trust. You shall suggest that you all go camping, possibly up a very high mountain. One of the men shall announce that he has a tent. You will all agree that this is a good idea. Detailed plans will be discussed, and inventories drawn up. Somebody shall retrieve a fishing rod from the shed. One will claim he is an experienced survivalist, and another will swear he fought off a bear this one time. You will all be very exited to go camping.

You will never go camping.

Success. You have met the men. Now back away slowly. Run. Don't stop until you get back home. Never tell anybody what you saw that day. The men will know if you do.

OT: Yeah, Tinder is a pretty good bet, if you're into the modern, mechanically efficient method. :P Other than that, you could look for gay bars in your area. That is, if any of them have managed to remain solvent over the past year. Who knows. Hobby groups, maybe?
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby René » 18 January 2021, 23:11

Magic J wrote:OT: Yeah, Tinder is a pretty good bet, if you're into the modern, mechanically efficient method. :P Other than that, you could look for gay bars in your area. That is, if any of them have managed to remain solvent over the past year. Who knows. Hobby groups, maybe?

I could be totally off, but from his posts so far, I don't get the impression that (gay) bars would be his thing.

Gay walking groups, board-game groups etc. exist in various areas. Meetup.com / the associated app could be a place to find those. But I would not expect (m)any to be active during this pandemic.

The timing really isn't ideal. :P
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby Lord Dweebington » 19 January 2021, 06:06

René wrote:
Magic J wrote:OT: Yeah, Tinder is a pretty good bet, if you're into the modern, mechanically efficient method. :P Other than that, you could look for gay bars in your area. That is, if any of them have managed to remain solvent over the past year. Who knows. Hobby groups, maybe?

I could be totally off, but from his posts so far, I don't get the impression that (gay) bars would be his thing.

Gay walking groups, board-game groups etc. exist in various areas. Meetup.com / the associated app could be a place to find those. But I would not expect (m)any to be active during this pandemic.

The timing really isn't ideal. :P

The issue with gay bars is that the drinking age in the US is 21, but I'm 18, lol. That said, I'm not sure if gay bars would be my thing, either. I never heard of Meetup, but it looks like a great place to find hobby groups even outside of looking for a man. The timing does suck, but hopefully I can still meet someone soon, even if we just talk online.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby Aladdin » 19 January 2021, 16:37

Right now dating sites.

You could just pull your pants down and see what it attracts.

You might get more than you bargained for.
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby PanicP » 20 January 2021, 02:01

I feel your pain. It is extremely difficult to meet men at the moment.
As for the dating apps, I would proceed with caution. Grindr, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge etc are all the same. Just bored lads looking to waste some time.
Last month I suffered the darkest moment of my life, I was searching all these apps looking for a connection and someone to talk to. There was nothing.
I am in no way a supermodel and nor am I ugly, but I got few matches and even if I did lads would not respond. They are happy just swiping yes or no.
I am the life of the party in my groups of friends, always upbeat and making everyone laugh.

Those apps broke me, they ruined my confidence and self worth.
If you are going to do it, please have thick skin!
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Re: How to meet men

Unread postby René » 20 January 2021, 13:32

PanicP wrote:I feel your pain. It is extremely difficult to meet men at the moment.
As for the dating apps, I would proceed with caution. Grindr, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge etc are all the same. Just bored lads looking to waste some time.
Last month I suffered the darkest moment of my life, I was searching all these apps looking for a connection and someone to talk to. There was nothing.
I am in no way a supermodel and nor am I ugly, but I got few matches and even if I did lads would not respond. They are happy just swiping yes or no.
I am the life of the party in my groups of friends, always upbeat and making everyone laugh.

Those apps broke me, they ruined my confidence and self worth.
If you are going to do it, please have thick skin!

It seems to depend a lot on the area you live in. Here in the central Scottish lowlands, there is definitely a difference. When Brenden and I were looking for a possible third guy for a committed long-term polyamorous relationship, we got talking with several guys from Tinder who were very interesting, interested, not bored or boring, and with whom we definitely made a connection. And we are decidedly not the life of the party. Our confidence and self-worth weren't bad, but did get a boost from that I suppose. (Ironically though, we ended up with a guy we'd met on Grindr originally for a one-off threesome while travelling in a different country, but he is *very* special and unusual compared to the average guy on Grindr.)

That was at the very start of the pandemic, in February-March last year. I'm sure it's harder to find people now and I suppose the people still on apps even now are more likely to be ones who depend on a steady stream of sex/hookups :P and less likely to be relationship material, unfortunately.
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