I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

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I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby Mrjatt97 » 1 February 2019, 21:05

Hi guys
I am 22 years old indian boy and i am fall in love with my friend as well colleague of work and his age is 45 is italian man we are very good friend and today i decide to send him a vocal message on whatapp tell him that i am bisexual and i love him a lot.
And he answer back me say that i surprised that i never though that i love him *is because i look like heterosexual* and he says that i dont have to be ashamed about and that we gonna stay same friend as always and he gonna keep secret as i said to him .... but on the end of the message he said but soory i am heterosexual ...now monday we see each other at work i dont know what to do what to say i cant watch no more in the eyes today i feel so bad i need help please ....
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby PopTart » 2 February 2019, 09:19

I'm really sorry you didn't get the reply you were hoping for Jatt :(

While you might be feeling alot of conflicting emotions, some of which are gonna be really horrible, try to look at things positively.

Hard I know. It's every gay mans lot, to fall for a straight friend at some point, so your not alone in that experience. :hug:

But your friend has let you know that, he accepts your sexuality, thats a win! :thumbsup:

He has also assured you that, if you aren't ready to tell anyone else, he will keep your secret. Thats another win! :thumbsup:

If he is a good friend as you say, it's quite possible that, while you love him, you now know where you stand with him and you might find in him, someone who is able to provide you some support.

Don't be embarrased about seeing him, come monday. Or atleast try not to be. Go in and try if you can to talk to him as you would normally. It might be awkward, but just go with it. If you focus on how awkward, uncomfortable and weird you feel, it might amplify your anxiety. You could try to speak with him about your confession and see what he has to say.

It may be awkward at first, it might take some time for you to get back to being friends in an easy manner. But that doesn't mean you can't be friends, it all depends on whether or not you can manage your expectations and move past the feelings you have for him.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that things go well and if you need to talk further, be sure to come back.
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby Mrjatt97 » 2 February 2019, 09:54

Today i message him again saying "good morning how r you " and he answer me by saying " First you hurt and then
You ask how you are.is like if someone shot you in the head and then asked if you bothered the noise "

Than i ask if we can talk in person and he say sorry but we already speak about it i dont want to speak anymore i need time and distanze form you

I dont know how to behave monday help me
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby PopTart » 2 February 2019, 10:08

Well, that's not a positive response :(

My apologies, I had thought that he had been more positive about your confession.

It sounds like you might need to prepare yourself for some distance. It may be that he needs some time to adjust to what you've told him.

Tell me abit about him, what sort of person is he? Is he religious, has he ever expressed negative views regarding gay people?

Do you work in a large work environment? Are there alot of other people there, so that you can socialise with other people if he needs or wants some space?
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby Mrjatt97 » 2 February 2019, 10:22

I start work with him and other 8 people in call centre he very goos person always smile is make jokes he always come to me and make me laugh

Is not married is 41 year old and he said i have only 1 relation of 2 year with woman then he never had anything he live alone

On his break he always come to me sit near me and make me laugh and he say that he like me when i smile and i said that if you smile my smile is automatic reponse

I am not gay i am bisexual

The work place is huge and there like 50 agent working he was always near me we was taking on phone every weekend and he said thet i am the only person how he give his number and talk every weekend

Now the change desk and his desk is near me fuck i am fell soffocated now i dont know what monday gonna happen
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby Vertical » 4 February 2019, 01:10

Have you ever heard of the popular pastime called flirting?

Wikipedia: Flirting usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest in the given setting. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres (where one meaning is more formally appropriate, and another more suggestive) may be used. Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, open stances, proximity, and other gestures. Flirting may be done in a under-exaggerated, shy or frivolous style.


→ incontinence (declarations of love)
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby PopTart » 4 February 2019, 12:03

Sorry I didn't get back to you Jatt. I hope things have gone okay today.

It seems he is friendly enough and perhaps he might need a bit of time to digest what you have told him.

Its abit late for me now to say, but try to act naturally with him for a time, let him know that things don't have to change if he doesn't want them to.

If you feel you can and would like to remain friends with him, this kind of "business as usual" could reassure him that there is no pressure from you, for him to reciprocate.

Let us know how things went today.
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 4 February 2019, 16:49

Honestly what compels gays to declare their love to straight guys? Like, what do they expect will happen? For as long as these forum have existed, there have been multiple threads where gays put themselves in these situations. It’s like delusion Tourette’s. I blame gay-for-pay pornography and gay-baiting One Direction members.

Years ago I made a Pocket Guide to Discourse. I feel like I should also make a list of precautions and warnings to new gays not to make the silly mistakes that half of all homosexual youth end up making. You’d think these things would be obvious.
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby PopTart » 4 February 2019, 17:08

Some people learn better by first hand experience and maybe you need more exposure... like in the lounge maybe? :naughty: :lol:

But I get it, sometimes it can be hard to be so close to someone, on a personal level and NOT tell them or atleast, have a desperate desire to do so. Hope springs eternal.
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby Stardust » 4 February 2019, 17:13

Tell us how things go :hug:
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby Mrjatt97 » 4 February 2019, 19:44

WOW WHAT A DAY
my swift starts at 7 am while his at 9.15 am I got my first break at 9 till 9 15 as soon as I put my self in break I saw him coming towards me because his desk is at 1 row behind me i get and he was getting the free cup that they was giving today and we find each other side by side and he said free cups and i look down and run away ...

After break he was staring at me and i cant turn around that i see his eyes on me and i fell soffocated

I have break at 2.15 to 2.30 and he from 2.00 to 2.30 and i have idea to go to the stair and stand there fakeing to calling and as always hoping to come from behind and touch my hips and i got scare but he didnt come i went toilet and i remeber that i left my bottle in canteen and i went he was there alone and i said hi and u reply and he was going to say something and i close the door on his face and go away

After that wheni was going to sit i look to him and he move his face left right by saying that i did wrong

After near me girls was talking about eyebrow and that they should watch video on youtube and i make joke that they should ask to ".....xyz"my collegue" because he is a guy how do eyebrow better then girls and we all 4 start laughing so much and we was so loud and he was alone there and he ask tell me the joke to i can laughs as well and i said u too far from us you cant laughs you not in pur gruop and we laughs more louder and his face was like i fell alone the 2 guys near him the dont speak with him i was only the guys how make him laughs but this time i ignore him

After that i finish work and i was shaking hand with al my left colleague and when i went to him and i turn hi face to other side and i said bye "his name " and i put my hand over he was sweating and his hand was wet and he was looking in my eyes and i take the hand and kiss it and go away wow his face was like wow
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Re: I am in love with my heterosexual friend and i come out to him

Unread postby PopTart » 4 February 2019, 20:38

I'm going to be honest, your english needs a little work :P

Some of that I found hard to follow, but from what i can tell, you kind of avoided him, much of the day, while he was seeking to engage with you? But after relaxing with some female colleagues, talking about getting their eyebrows done, you managed to talk to him in some fashion, which led to a kiss from him?

If so, thats quite promising. Have you spoken with him at all?
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