I am still confused

Hi I have a 10 year old friend. We are together since our university days. He used to be my crush at first but later he showed few signs that he might not be complete straight.

Around 5 years ago we had oral sex. But after that he just disappeared from my life. I got to know he had girlfriends and was having fun with them. After 2 years he came again to my life as we have many mutual friends and we again got closer.

Moving fast forward to 2019-20, he usually kisses me and show his love. Does this prove that he is still interested in me? We usually meet on weekends and he kinda flirts with me. Sometimes when I am not giving him attention that he wants he kisses me on cheek (in front of straight friends). Usually says that he loves me (not afraid of expressing).

Two weeks back we had a small fight and I switched off my cell so he came to my place for clearing things up and yes he was hugging me tight continuously.

The thing I am afraid of that he is also married and still gets off the hook. I just keep on thinking about him. I am out to him about my sexuality. He knows everything that what I want but he doesn't cross line and have proper sex. He's just okay with plain kisses and hugs. When we are alone he is little bit shy in expressing things. I have even tried asking him bluntly whether he wants to move on to next stage or not but he just laughs or smile. THAT'S IT. I am confused what to do.

He may just be an affectionate person who likes your company and loves having you in his life, with an element of some bi leanings thrown into the mix.

My usual advice would be to have an open conversation about it but it sounds like you’ve already done this.

It’s really hard being your side of the fence and wanting just that bit more that he seems reluctant to give, and can be quite painful in the long term. My advice would be if you are keen for a loving two way relationship, it would be best to start dating other guys and trying to look for what you want there. I want to say maybe then your friend will realise he wants you in that way but I don’t want to get your hopes up.

Whatever happens, hope it all turns out okay for you.