I feel more comfortable around strangers.

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I feel more comfortable around strangers.

Unread postby richardjohnstone0683 » 11 August 2020, 20:00

Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of or anything in my circles. I am from a mostly open minded family and have lots of gay friends etc. Yet I rarely talk about my personal life with anyone in my circle and have never slept with any of my friends. I find it more comfortable to hook up with strangers and even talk more about myself with strangers. Part of it is that I'm a bit nervous about my body and always fear something about me will turn a guy off, like I'm very self conscious about my booty. I think it looks fine but I always worry that if I let a friend inside me, he will find something gross then he will associate that grossness with me. I wish I could be the opposite: sleep with people who are close to me, and open up with them more often, the people who matter.
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Re: I feel more comfortable around strangers.

Unread postby jaredjoy90 » 11 August 2020, 22:27

I've never had sex with a friend either. Do these strangers have similar interests as you outside the bedroom? Usually thats important. You can get fucked by a random scumbag off the street, or a decent human being who you just didn't happen to know beforehand. Personally, you can use sex as a connection to meet a long term partner. Does that make sense?
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Re: I feel more comfortable around strangers.

Unread postby jake.wriley » 14 August 2020, 10:17

I very much relate to this. I too am very self-conscious about my body and am afraid that if a friend were to see me naked, they would be disgusted by me and not want to be around me anymore. Realistically I think that is highly unlikely and it has never happened when I've slept with a friend, but the concern is certainly real.

I have had sex with friends before and haven't had any bad experiences necessarily, but it definitely makes the friendship a bit awkward. I have "normal" types of friends with common, non-sexual interests like our professional interests, hobbies, etc. and like to spend time with them, and I also have fuck buddies where our friendship is pretty much just about sex. We more or less just help each other scratch that proverbial itch and explore different things together sexually, but we don't have anything in common outside of what we do in bed. For me, having that boundary with my friends is very helpful, and I think that's true for a lot of people, but that's certainly not the case for everyone. The idea of sleeping with people with whom you are close is certainly appealing.

If you don't mind me asking, do you think your desire to sleep with your friends is truly that you want to sleep with them, or is it perhaps your desire to connect with them on a deeper, more personal level just manifesting in a sexual context? For me, it was the latter case where I wanted to connect with friends more personally, but that desire for emotional connection was displaced into a sexual context, and having sex with them didn't satisfy that desire for connection at all.

Again, I'm not at all trying to project my own experience onto your situation but am just relating to a somewhat similar situation.
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Re: I feel more comfortable around strangers.

Unread postby richardjohnstone0683 » 19 August 2020, 18:57

I was at home without plans on saturday night and boredom was getting the better of me. It was about 10 pm and one of my younger acquaintances was on tinder that I had chatted with earlier so I decided to text him. We chatted for a bit, and we arranged for him to come over. (I've actually known him for years as he is friends with my younger cousin and went to high school with him). Anyway Chad is super cute. He is 5'11, slim, has a friendly face with slightly rugged features, think of a guy who went camping for a week level of facial hair, and a well built body. He drove to my place and I guess I didn't make it clear if it was just to hang out or to have sex, I actually just wanted company, and I think he did too. So we watched a little tv when finally I got the nerve to ask him if I could kiss him. "I was starting to think you would never ask" was his reply. So I kissed him, but ensured I kissed him from a lower angle to put him above me and in a more dominant position. He was an ok kisser, definitely not great. I felt down to his dress shorts and his cock wasn't hard to my disappointment.

Chad says "Its ok, I can get hard, just give me a minute."
I rhetorically reply "would you like some help?" As I got down on my knees and moved him to the edge of the couch. He removed his shorts and boxers and he had quite a bit of pubic hair and a cut penis, which I like. I started sucking on his cock, and requested that he just relax and let me do my job. It took like 10 minutes but his cock eventually was hard. I removed my shorts and shirt and laid flat on the couch and spread my cheeks. We had lube and condoms handy, I kind of regret it just as its a stupid thing to do, but I told him we could try barebacking if he wanted to; which we did. We changed positions a few times, he was always behind me, we did me flat on my stomach, doggy style, me bent over the couch, and back to me being flat on my stomach again and thats when he came. I kinda scooched my ass over so as not to make a mess and grabbed a napkin from my takeout dinner. I showed him the way to the shower to clean his cock. I wiped whatever cum came out of me and put on a pair of boxers, he stayed naked and we watched some youtube bloopers on my ipad. I invited him to spend the night and he took me up, we slept together in my bed, passed out.

On sunday I actually had plans but while I had an attractive young top in my bed, I wasn't going to let that opportunity go to waste! So I woke him up and he had morning wood. After he peed and rinsed out his mouth we both went to my bed, he cock still hard. We decided to make it a quickie so I squirted some lube on his cock and got on my back with my legs straight up. This position is a little more difficult for me to start off in, so I urged him to go slowly, and he did, but as soon as he was perhaps 2 inches into my ass, he started pumping. My ass welcomed his cock, and as soon as it quit feeling like it was being stretched too much I used my rectal muscles to tighten up around his cock. A few minutes later he paced picked up, his face went more red, and his breathing increased. He grunted and I could feel his semen oozing into me. We both cleaned up, and we kissed goodbye.

-I felt cleaner being with someone I knew
-it was convenient
-he came inside me (also a con for health reasons)
-He is young and attractive
-He lives 3 blocks away which is convenient for future hookups
-He asked to text him again the next time I am horny
-He fucks hard. I can really feel it. After the 2nd round I actually pulled a bag of peas from the freezer and sat on it for a few minutes.

-We actually don't have much in common besides sex.
-He came inside me (con for health reasons, pro because I love it)
-Because he doesn't groom his pubic hairs I had to deal with them while sucking his cock, especially while it was soft.
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Re: I feel more comfortable around strangers.

Unread postby adda100 » 22 August 2020, 12:16

I prefer sex with friends if I can find friends whom I also like sexually, but unfortunately that doesn't happen frequently. Sex is not just a mechanical activity so for me it's much better if I can feel some form of love for my sexual partner (not necessarily romantic love).

I had sex with a friend of mine for several years and it was a great experience. We both were also involved in a gay rights association, and often went to meetings and did activities together. It was quite exciting to, say, go to a meeting with him and then before going home ending up somewhere to have sex (neither of us was living alone). It was great also because I really esteem him, he has been active in gay rights associations for years, now he runs the local chapter of a volunteer organization that helps gay immigrants who seek asylum in the EU (we live in Italy).

Sex with a stranger might have been hot too, but sex with a friend I was close to and I esteemed (although I didn’t love him romantically) was much better for me, and as I said it was often very hot precisely because we were “friends with benefits”.
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