I'm in a kinda weird relationship

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I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby MarkF » 11 October 2020, 20:53

I'm in kind of a weird relationship. I'm not sure if I'm really looking for advice or anything, but since I'm new here I suppose that I might as well throw out a mention of it right off the bat, just to get any surprise from everyone out of the way so that it doesn't suddenly crop up at some even more awkward point later.

I'm a 16 year old gay guy, and I am in a relationship with a 14 year old male cousin. Now, I know, incest and all that - yes, I have heard it before, and I know some probably won't approve of either our being related or either of our ages (his in particular), or even both. Yes, we're sexually active with each other, though only since August. We're trying to go slowly on it, and I've always made sure that he knows that I totally understand that "No" means "No" (in fact, he's initiated a lot of the times, and has actually been the top more than I have).

We're both out to a few family members and friends as far as our orientation goes, though we aren't on our relationship as of yet (though I always seem to read coming out stories where the author says they went to tell the people in their lives only to be told that everybody already knew, or at least suspected, so a part of me wouldn't be surprised if others already know about the two of us).
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby René » 11 October 2020, 21:54

Incest isn't really a problem in gay relationships like it is in straight relationships and isn't as frowned upon I think. I'm not even sure it's that frowned upon for straight relationships between cousins. I have a big family, and two of my cousins (well, second cousins I guess) had a thing for each other at one point. One recruited my help in getting the other to see they'd make a nice couple, actually. This was when we were all in our teens.

I don't see any problem with your story, personally, as long as you're being safe (I would guess by being exclusive). :3

Thanks for opening up to us about this! :keke:

And if you ever do need advice, feel free to ask!
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby Derek » 11 October 2020, 22:00

Might make for some awkward Christmases if/when you break up.
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby Eryx » 13 October 2020, 13:13

Yeah the incest part is only more of an issue for some Americans, here it's fine for the most part. And I think the age gap is appropriate, you're on that an age that is all about first experiences and maturing. If you're both happy and respectful of each other in the relationship, I don't see an issue with it. Just be prepared for some people not accepting it.
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby StevenCarolina » 14 October 2020, 14:10

Actually had this happen to me when I was 14... he was 15. It was a stage of exploration for both of us and a time of my life that I remember as both an education and a lot of fun! We always kept it a secret and both eventually moved into other relationships. But, it was a special time that we both look back on fondly. I did not see being cousins as an issue then and I don't now. But, unfortunately, our society has hang ups about anything that may be deemed out of the norm. Be safe and respectful to each other!! That is what is important.
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby MarkF » 15 October 2020, 01:38

I'm kind of amazed that a cousins relationship seems to be a bit more common than one might think, particularly in a same-sex relationship (René, I'm curious as to whether the cousins of which you mentioned were a same-sex couple or straight).

I realize that a lot of the taboo surrounding the idea is usually because of genetic issues and problems that would be more likely to crop up if a couple was closely related to each other (with the closer the relation, the more likely the amount and kinds of problems), which obviously isn't going to be problem in my case, unless guys have somehow developed the ability to become pregnant since the last time I checked (which, if it did, you guys would probably be getting a weird gender reveal "party" in a few months! ;) ).

The only other problem, of course, is (as Derek as mentioned) that is if the relationship ends badly, there will be a whole lot of really awkward family get-togethers in the future.

I'm not really sure why my one cousin (I'm obviously not going to give out much in the way of personal info here, but I will say his name is Cole) and I are a couple. We both know a few other gay/bi guys our age at school, for example. And if you'd told me a year ago that I'd be having sex with a relative, I'm not sure I would have believed you. I'd never felt (and still don't) any sort of sexual attraction towards any of my other cousins or 2 brother, even though my brothers (ages 18 and 13) and I have been naked in front of each other (we share a bedroom), and I've also been naked with a couple of other guy cousins (one's the same age as me, the other a year older) back when I was in the 7th grade and we had gym class at the same time (so we changed and showered together).

Maybe it's just a matter of convenience with all that's been going on (with COVD-19 and social distancing and all that) and we'll move on to other partners once things return to normal and we can start interacting more with other people. Or maybe we'll stay a couple. We've always liked each other and enjoyed doing stuff together even before we became a couple, and certainly I think we'd both say that the sex is great (though, admittedly, neither one of us has much to compare it to, since neither of us has ever had any other partners).
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby René » 15 October 2020, 02:01

MarkF wrote:I'm kind of amazed that a cousins relationship seems to be a bit more common than one might think, particularly in a same-sex relationship (René, I'm curious as to whether the cousins of which you mentioned were a same-sex couple or straight).

Straight, as it happens. I actually have to admit I kinda had a little crush on that male cousin when I was like 10... I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I thought he was "cute" somehow. (And I still do.) That was probably one of the first signs I was gay, actually. :3

And that wasn't the last cousin I've found myself attracted to. :P

I was the first person in my relatively close family (first & second cousins & their parents) to come out as gay. Two cousins (one boy and one girl) have since followed in my footsteps (none of the really cute guys, though :pfft: ).

(Now my husband and I just need to come out to them all as poly... :runaway: At least my immediate family has been totally loving and supportive of that side of us. :keke:)

MarkF wrote:I realize that a lot of the taboo surrounding the idea is usually because of genetic issues and problems that would be more likely to crop up if a couple was closely related to each other (with the closer the relation, the more likely the amount and kinds of problems), which obviously isn't going to be problem in my case, unless guys have somehow developed the ability to become pregnant since the last time I checked (which, if it did, you guys would probably be getting a weird gender reveal "party" in a few months! ;) ).

:lol:

MarkF wrote:The only other problem, of course, is (as Derek as mentioned) that is if the relationship ends badly, there will be a whole lot of really awkward family get-togethers in the future.

Just make sure it doesn't end badly. I hope your relationship will last, but if it doesn't, with a little bit of maturity you can probably stay friends and just look back on the time you spent as a couple as something wonderful you experienced together that helped you both to develop into who you are at that point. :)

MarkF wrote:I'm not really sure why my one cousin (I'm obviously not going to give out much in the way of personal info here, but I will say his name is Cole) and I are a couple. We both know a few other gay/bi guys our age at school, for example. And if you'd told me a year ago that I'd be having sex with a relative, I'm not sure I would have believed you. I'd never felt (and still don't) any sort of sexual attraction towards any of my other cousins or 2 brother, even though my brothers (ages 18 and 13) and I have been naked in front of each other (we share a bedroom), and I've also been naked with a couple of other guy cousins (one's the same age as me, the other a year older) back when I was in the 7th grade and we had gym class at the same time (so we changed and showered together).

Obviously it takes a certain spark that's not always there. And when you grow up in close proximity, e.g. with a brother, there is the postulated Westermarck effect.

MarkF wrote:Maybe it's just a matter of convenience with all that's been going on (with COVD-19 and social distancing and all that) and we'll move on to other partners once things return to normal and we can start interacting more with other people. Or maybe we'll stay a couple. We've always liked each other and enjoyed doing stuff together even before we became a couple, and certainly I think we'd both say that the sex is great (though, admittedly, neither one of us has much to compare it to, since neither of us has ever had any other partners).

Awww. Y'all sound adorable together :3
I hope things continue to work out in the long term! :keke:
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby MarkF » 16 October 2020, 23:32

René wrote:Obviously it takes a certain spark that's not always there. And when you grow up in close proximity, e.g. with a brother, there is the postulated Westermarck effect.


Yeah. I don't think anybody's ever figured out why we're attracted to the specific people we are in the first place. There are people who I've seen that I'd have totally made out with if given the opportunity, and there are those that you couldn't pay me enough to even consider. (This was even true in the locker room at school - I got to have practically a front row seat to seeing a lot of naked guys; some I had to almost hold myself back to keep from jumping on their dick right then and there, but there were others that, looking at their dick and balls, was about as sexually exciting as looking at a piece of chalk in front of a hacky sack, and some of those guys weren't even ugly, either)

René wrote:Awww. Y'all sound adorable together :3
I hope things continue to work out in the long term! :keke:


Me, too. :) (There are some U.S. states that allow cousin marriage, after all!) And if it doesn't, I also hope that we can at least look back on it as being more good than bad.
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Re: I'm in a kinda weird relationship

Unread postby Jryski » 21 October 2020, 15:48

I read a story on gayauthors about this boy that fell in love with his cousin. The relationship didn’t last but I thought it was really cute while it lasted.
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