I’m in love with a friend who I had a thing with at the start.

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I’m in love with a friend who I had a thing with at the start.

Unread postby PQRST » 9 June 2022, 12:06

I met this guy a little over a year ago online, we messaged for 3 months and met up and essentially were a thing, we kissed although that’s as far as it went as he stated he wasn’t ready for a same sex relationship however he wanted to stay friends (FriendZoned 😭) so as a month went on I found out he was in a relationship and confronted him and it turns out he wasn't not ready for a same sex relationship he was talking to another person, but at this point we’d become friends and I had an unrequited love. As time has gone on I pushed my feelings down and smiled, I got along with his boyfriend but the more I got to know his boyfriend the more I began to think little of him.

His boyfriend is a chronic weed smoker and drinker, he barely has a job, he has mental health problems which he refuses to get help for and he manipulates my “friend” by making him feel guilty and by constantly being moody with him, my “friend” tells me all these things and YET I question as to why he’s with him. I’m a healthcare professional and have a decent career.

Anyway… We’ve become close as friends and he is still with his boyfriend, my love for him has grown and it is unrequited. I told him how I felt in November 2021 and was rejected.

I stay at his house sometimes and when I am With him he’ll sometimes ignore his boyfriend, he has a lot of fun with me, tells me he appreciates me, I tell him the same, I try and drop hints such as telling him how much he means to me and I do alot for him such as drive him around take him out, got him a job, forwarded his career, talk to him about his relationship issues, I help him because I want him to be happy, I wont ruin someone elses happiness for my own personal gain.

I want him to love me but I know I cannot change who he loves but there’s things that make me think differently, such as he held my hand once, we play fight, he always stares at me but then a little voice in my head pops up and reminds me that I am fat and his boyfriend is smaller than you why on earth would he even think about it. I am so in love with this guy it’s unreal. I have never ever felt this way about anyone before in my life. We’re best friends now, I know the only way I’ll get over it is if i cut him off but I cant.

He’s always messaging me, except when he’s with his boyfriend then it’s radio silent.

He’s not always miserable with his boyfriend but he will always make excuses for him when he does something bad. His mum is not aware of my sexuality but she tells me she doesn’t like his boyfriend and wishes I was gay so I could be with him, little does she know I wish I could too.

How else can I show him I’m in love with him without getting rejected again… How else can I make someone fall in love with me🥲.
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Re: I’m in love with a friend who I had a thing with at the start.

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 10 June 2022, 15:06

Its your life to do as you see fit. As an outside observer from what you have shared, I think you need to ween yourself off of him. Make new friends and/or occupy your time with other things so that you don't dwell on him so much. With the way you describe what is going on, he really isn't available to you, and that situation probably won't change anytime soon. It is your heart that is most likely going to get hurt if you spend your time, your mental energy, and your emotions on this unrequited love. Unrequited love SUCKS!

I know what I say isn't what you want to hear. I think that most gay men yearn to love and be loved. You will find someone who loves you and wants to be with you. At this time, it isn't that guy.
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