I'm obsessed and he's ok with it??

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I'm obsessed and he's ok with it??

Unread postby Tobiwon719 » 2 September 2019, 03:00

I've fallen for a straight guy. Just a brief background. He works in the same building as me, just a different department. We're around the same age (early twenties). I stalked him for about a week till I finally got frustrated enough to ask him out respectfully over facebook. Regardless of his answer I told him I still am always down for new friends. He said he was flattered but that he was straight but would love to get to know me and hang out.

So it's been maybe a month now since we've started talking. Just some examples of things he's done. Sent me a pic of him shirtless with his dog (the pic was only to me), there was a night when he was drinking and he would say things like "you're the best" or "you're perfect". Not enough to warrant anything super suspicious but it still messes with me. Anyway, we hung out for the first time the other night. I was almost ready to give up because I genuinely wanted to be his friend and he said he wanted to be mine. He had already ditched me once when we made plans, and he's really bad at communicating (via text, etc.) and I wasn't getting anything, no interest. I just told myself to be patient. He invites me out to a bar after his work shift, and it's like 11:30 at night. I don't like bars, but I really like him so I was just like "fuck it, you don't know till you go". I meet him there and we're waiting in line as this super crazy busy bar on a friday night. I have my juul with me cause I'm a loser. I offer it to him and he just leans in and gets real close and hits it while it's still in my hand and my fingers touch his lips, ugh just stupid little things. We get in and I go light on the drinking. I meet a few of his friends and I do pretty well, I even get out on the dance floor. We leave the bar around 1am. At this point I'm ready to go home and I also have work later. So this guy has a super cute dog and I always joke that I want to meet him. He says he's just gonna go home and share some popcorn with his dog. I say "dude I want to meet your dog so bad". Whaddaya know he invites me back to his house, and I'm almost too eager to accept.

I'll try not to make this too long. Basically a few things happen. I meet his dog (super cute) and the whole time we're wrestling with this puppy he's making super intense eye contact with me and smiling at me a lot. We eventually get on the topic of living situations and we both live with our parents (he's 21 I'm 22, still not done with college). He wants to move out and then he says wants me to be his roommate. HE JUST MET ME and knows little to nothing about me except that I'm gay. He's the kind of guy that has a ton of friends too. So why me? We take his dog out to go potty and this fucking guy just whips his dick out and starts peeing in front of me and talking to me over his shoulder NO BIG DEAL (he was facing away from me, so I didn't see anything). We go inside and he shows me the guest room. I thought that was it, but we end up talking till 5am...5AM. We talked about everything. He mentions more than once how "attractive" I am. How much he admires me and how it took "balls" to ask him out the way I did. Also get this, I posted about him on reddit awhile back asking for advice and he tells me HE SAW THE POST, he said a friend saw it and sent it to him...idk if I believe that, it's not exactly a well known sub reddit and the fact he or whoever knew it was me is kind of strange. It was so embarrassing but again he's like "it's all cool dude, you're my bro, I don't care, don't be embarrassed". That's kind of why I'm posting here because now I don't feel safe on reddit. Overall it was very cool just to sit and talk. We talked about a lot of other stuff I won't go into, but just personal stuff. He was absolutely blown away I had never had sex with a woman or a man. He got kind of a confused look about him like he wanted to ask me "well how do you know you're gay?" thank God he didn't ask me that.

Overall I'm just getting a lot of mixed signals. It's hard to relay my exact emotions and give an accurate picture without making this post super long. I really like him and it makes it so much harder because he's so ok with everything, and open and vulnerable. Not to mention he's fucking gorgeous and seems to think I am too lol. He's kind of a depressed guy and he really just needs a friend I think, which I want to be. I'm just scared that I'm not going to be able to detach my romantic feelings because I like him too much. I've talked to my girlfriends. We think the best case is to just keep being his friend, hanging out and seeing where it goes. Don't assume anything, just be there as his friend. If anything happens, great. If not, great, I have a new friend. But also sucks because I think about him way too much and it even distracts me at work because he's constantly on my mind, doesn't help that he works in the same building. I'm seeing him again tomorrow night. We both go to the same young adults group with our church and there's a bonfire thing (yes we're both religious, me more than him I think, but still). I would appreciate your guys thoughts, I can also answer questions if you need further details. Hopefully he doesn't see this post too, wouldn't that be hilarious.
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Re: I'm obsessed and he's ok with it??

Unread postby Prince_G_24 » 2 September 2019, 03:41

Always sucks falling for a straight friend. The consensus you made with your friends seems like a good choice in just continuing to hang out with him and see where things go.

The "mixed signals" seem to come off to me more as just over-analyzing things. A lot of the comments you said he makes seem to go hand in hand with alcohol. People tend to say and do pretty crazy things once they've pounded a couple down. Some of the other things you mentioned just seem to go hand-in-hand with his comfort level around you as a person or, like you said, him trying to reach out to you because he's in need of a good friend.

I get the romantic feelings suck, but in my past experiences I found that after hanging with someone long enough and learning more of their personality I find things that are rather big turnoffs and any romantic feelings go right out the window.
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Re: I'm obsessed and he's ok with it??

Unread postby Tobiwon719 » 2 September 2019, 03:59

Prince_G_24 wrote:Always sucks falling for a straight friend. The consensus you made with your friends seems like a good choice in just continuing to hang out with him and see where things go.

The "mixed signals" seem to come off to me more as just over-analyzing things. A lot of the comments you said he makes seem to go hand in hand with alcohol. People tend to say and do pretty crazy things once they've pounded a couple down. Some of the other things you mentioned just seem to go hand-in-hand with his comfort level around you as a person or, like you said, him trying to reach out to you because he's in need of a good friend.

I get the romantic feelings suck, but in my past experiences I found that after hanging with someone long enough and learning more of their personality I find things that are rather big turnoffs and any romantic feelings go right out the window.


Ugh, unfortunately his personality is turning out to be nothing short of perfect.
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Re: I'm obsessed and he's ok with it??

Unread postby mxguy01 » 2 September 2019, 04:08

Bro-mances are awesome. Just go with in and enjoy.
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Re: I'm obsessed and he's ok with it??

Unread postby Prince_G_24 » 3 September 2019, 03:56

Tobiwon719 wrote:Ugh, unfortunately his personality is turning out to be nothing short of perfect.


Those feelings are to be expected. It's always rainbows and unicorns and all that other jazz when ya first fall head over heels for someone. Just gotta be patient and, like mxguy said, it sounds like you'll get an awesome bromance outta the whole situation.
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