I think I just want to be friends - should we meet again?

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I think I just want to be friends - should we meet again?

Unread postby BrianOM28 » 28 May 2020, 09:07

Hi,

I've met up with a guy from Grindr twice, just for dates. We've both said we're looking for friends as well as relationships, he said he'd just come out of a 2 year relationship.

I think he likes me though, and he's invited me round his house for a drink. He's a nice guy but not really feeling attracted to him. What should I do? Continue meeting up and just let him down gently if he asks? Not meet again? Or should I bring it up beforehand, and say I'd just like to meet as friends? I have social anxiety and not much experience so this kind of situation makes me anxious.

Thanks
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Re: I think I just want to be friends - should we meet again?

Unread postby Eryx » 28 May 2020, 15:59

I think you should talk to him first and clarify. I did that once on Winter Ball when I was in High School. This girl asked me out and I didn't know English well enough yet to understand that going with her met it would be a date, not just friends going to a dance. So when someone explained it to me, I texted her to say that I just wanted to be friends.

She still wanted to grind and sit next to me, but nothing really came out of it. Awkward night.

Anyway, my point is... Yeah, say something. If he's only interested in hooking up with you, he'll back off and find an excuse. If he's genuinely also looking for friends, he'll tell you to still come and you can have fun in different ways.

It's almost foreign when this happens, right? I mean, some guy I met in a different city found my phone number on his contacts and sent me a message after he saw me at my University's campus. Turns out we both study Linguistics. He invited me over to his house and I thought he wanted to hook up, but he was actually married to another guy and we ended up playing videogames the whole night. It had been so long since a gay guy approached me just to hang out that it all felt out of place at first. Weird!
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Eryx
 
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Re: I think I just want to be friends - should we meet again?

Unread postby BrianOM28 » 30 May 2020, 22:06

Thanks for your reply. Yeah it is unusual what happened with you! But just shows it can happen.
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