I think my gf might be bi / gay?

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I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby doubtfulbf » 9 August 2018, 04:34

It was the little things, you know? When we first started dating, she would point at beautiful strangers and say things like, “Look at that stunner.” At first, I just thought my girlfriend was really cool and wasn’t like one of those overly jealous / insecure types. Then I noticed she started spending more time with her girlfriends, and how she would stare at women passing by when we were out grocery shopping or on our Saturday night dates.

I think what really gave it away was when I borrowed her laptop to check my email and saw that she recently googled “how to search women by ID.” I looked back at her and saw that she was preoccupied with something on TV, which means she probably forgot about it. Should I confront her about this? I love her dearly and even though it might mean losing her and our relationship, I don’t want her to bear the pain of being in the closet any longer, if she really is bi or a lesbian.
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby PopTart » 9 August 2018, 18:33

The only way to find out, is to sit down and talk to her about it. It could be that she is either Bi or Gay, It could also be that your putting two and two together and coming up with lemons.

Instead of asking us, ask her and try to do it in a way that isn't antagonistic or inquisitorial. ;)
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby math2018 » 9 August 2018, 21:17

Ask her nicely if she finds women attractive ? She seems quite confortable about that subject so i think she'll be open about it ?
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby Yeauxleaux » 10 August 2018, 02:22

...Ross?

You might get that threesome you always wanted

Jk tbh the only surefire way is to ask her, or maybe if you're tactful, set up some situations where you can observe her behaviour more.
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby doubtfulbf » 10 August 2018, 04:38

PopTart wrote:The only way to find out, is to sit down and talk to her about it. It could be that she is either Bi or Gay, It could also be that your putting two and two together and coming up with lemons.

Instead of asking us, ask her and try to do it in a way that isn't antagonistic or inquisitorial. ;)



Well, it could be I'm just over thinking the whole thing... Then again, I could lose her. It's not exactly as easy as it sounds.
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby doubtfulbf » 10 August 2018, 04:43

math2018 wrote:Ask her nicely if she finds women attractive ? She seems quite confortable about that subject so i think she'll be open about it ?


This is actually good advice. I could start with a topic that's fairly simple for her to discuss and gauge her reaction first. If she seems fine and comfortable with it, I'll ask her more or wait for her to open up. Thanks!
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby doubtfulbf » 10 August 2018, 04:44

Yeauxleaux wrote:...Ross?

You might get that threesome you always wanted

Jk tbh the only surefire way is to ask her, or maybe if you're tactful, set up some situations where you can observe her behaviour more.


Sorry, but I don't really get the reference? I think I'm gonna ask her about it within the week. I hope all goes well :(
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby Yeauxleaux » 10 August 2018, 04:56

It's a Friends reference. One of the main characters, Ross, finds out his wife Carol is a lesbian and has left him for Susan. (Not really a spoiler, this is in the very first episode).

Anyway I hope it goes well. Worst case scenario, you could break up and then later find someone else, but hopefully not.
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Re: I think my gf might be bi / gay?

Unread postby PopTart » 10 August 2018, 22:00

doubtfulbf wrote:
PopTart wrote:The only way to find out, is to sit down and talk to her about it. It could be that she is either Bi or Gay, It could also be that your putting two and two together and coming up with lemons.

Instead of asking us, ask her and try to do it in a way that isn't antagonistic or inquisitorial. ;)



Well, it could be I'm just over thinking the whole thing... Then again, I could lose her. It's not exactly as easy as it sounds.

You need to be honest with yourself. You say in one breath, you dont want her to live a lie and would prefer she be free to come out, if she is indeed gay or bi, that you want that for her, but your reluctant to speak with her, for fear of losing her.

Now im not saying thats wrong headed. Id feel the same way in your place. But there is a definate disconnect between what you say in one instance and what you say in another.

Are you sure you really want to know? Are you sure you would be able to handle the truth, if it turns out that what you suspect ia true.

I ask, as i think it would be a good idea to be absolutely certain, before you open that can of worms. That the potential fallout, is something you can deal with. Once you start down that road, you might find theres no going back.

Such a prospect is never easy. I dont mean to suggest its simple, exactly. Thenonly real solution is simple in what you need to do. Talk it out with your partner. But the obvious potential consequences are in no way small, how you manage those consequences, is anything but simple.

Hence, are you sure you really believe its better to find out. I would imagine most people would prefer to know, but sometimes in life, thinking you k ow something and actually knowing something are two very different things.

Have you considered all of the possibilities and angles? If your not sure. Id be happy to provide some off the top of my head, but they all operate under the assumption that your gf is bi or gay.
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