If anyone could provide advice I would greatly appreciate it…

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If anyone could provide advice I would greatly appreciate it…

Unread postby Bastian1997 » 8 March 2022, 06:03

I recently met this guy on Grindr. We’ve been hanging out on weekends usually and I don’t know if I’m just over thinking things or if he’s being genuine with me. We’ve cried together within a two week span and explained a lot of deep rooted things that I normally would never feel comfortable explaining. I don’t want to ask him about what we are unless we’re in person but I still can never fester up the courage to do so in person because I’m so swayed by him. He claims that he’s not talking to other guys but asks if I am. Do you think he asks that because he actually is? Also his text messages typically get shorter as the week progresses and I end up going back and forth with my brain portraying situations and trying to draw conclusions from other accounts. Like I’ve never been with any guy that had been so open before with me and me with him. I consider his short responses as not interested because I’m too attached and he knows it but he makes me feel the same when we’re together (referring to attached). He’ll even call me babe but I’ve found odd stuff on different socials that could deem it contradictory but he does have quite a large following. I feel so alone and I think he only likes to talk when he’s been drinking I don’t what I provide beside comfort and I think once we’re away it’s not enough like I don’t think he cares and I deleted my Grindr once we started talking but I have no clue if he did. He’s been through a lot and has told me everything (at least from what he’s said to me) he told me he really does trust me he even said he does but I feel like I bore him because I’m too available. Should I distance myself and pull back or should I drop it entirely? I feel like no one gets me and my friends responses aren’t helpful.
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Re: If anyone could provide advice I would greatly appreciate it…

Unread postby PopTart » 8 March 2022, 16:28

Honestly, we aren't going to be able to tell you what this guy is thinking, when he asks you certain things. We can give you possibilities of what he might be thinking. But the best course of action, is for you to ask him what he is thinking, when he asks you these questions. It's going to save you a whole lot of time and guess work.

Similarly, we can't really tell you what might be going on, with different parts of his socials, with regards to what he is saying and what he is actually doing, because we just don't have enough info to be able to offer constructive perspectives.

Have you spoken to him about what you want (if indeed, you know what you want) have you asked him what he wants? What he wants out of the two of you meeting?

Answers to these questions will tell you what you can expect going forward. Maybe he values you as a friend. Maybe he wants more and is trying to find out if your available or still dating. Maybe, maybe maybe.... See, we could take wild stabs in the dark and you'll be no closer to knowing what you want to know. Because the person you need to be asking is him.

Now it's true, some people don't like someone who is immediately available, some people like the chase. But frankly, I feel you should just be upfront with how your feeling and what you would like to happen between the two of you. Playing games is usually more aggravation than it's worth and leads to people being less authentic.

Talk to the guy, tell him how you feel and find out how he feels.

I know it might be scary because, as things are, you feel less lonely and once you push that button, things change one way or another. All I can say, is that, while it might not go the way you want, there is the chance that it might. You won't know until you have the courage to find out. But doing something, anything, has got to be better, than lingering around in uncertainty, not knowing either way.

Even if it doesn't go the way you want. Don't be sad, there will be other guys you feel a connection with and even if there aren't, trust me, being single aint at all bad. There is no fail state to life.
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