In love with my best friend

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In love with my best friend

Unread postby JustAnotherGuy142 » 8 September 2021, 15:50

I'm gay, and I'm in love with my best friend. I'm unsure of if I should tell him though, as he doesn't know I'm gay, I don't know of his current opinion of LGBT, and I have no idea if he's straight or already has a crush/girlfriend. I really truly love him, What do I do?



We've known each other since around 4th grade, and we've hung out since. As of now, I am currently 16, and he is 17. He doesn't know I'm gay, and I am unaware of if he's even ok with LGBT in the first place. He hasn't given off any anti-LGBT vibes and is very nice, so I'd assume he's ok with it, but I don't know for sure and don't want to risk anything or, in a worst case scenario, potentially ruin my 1 good friendship with a friend I've been hanging out with since 4th grade.
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Re: In love with my best friend

Unread postby FireFox » 12 September 2021, 20:21

I've never been in that position so no real idea but off the cuff if it was me I'd ask an LGBT question or two preferably not out of the blue and see how he answers, hopefully that will give an idea on his position. How long have you had these feelings towards him?

To retain the friendship you could ignore the feelings but then again that isn't healthy.
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Re: In love with my best friend

Unread postby PopTart » 13 September 2021, 19:06

Tell him and it will change things permenantly. Which isn't to say, a bad thing necessarily.

You just have to understand, that once an egg is scrambled, you can't unscramble it. Whatever choice you make, it's permenant.

You might get lucky and he isn't offended, luckier still and he might reciprocate. you won't know until you speak to him.

I will say, that being in love with a friend, can be a bitter sweet experience, that has the potential to leave you feeling very lonely and sad. That can be just as true, if he knows, doesn't return your feelings, yet still wants to be friends anyway. You have to weigh up how you feel about these various outcomes, against how you feel being in a perpetual secret love for another. Some people can romanticise that sort of thing and live a lifetime on the warm fuzzies it gives them. I can safely say, I aint one of them.

If you are unable to be involved romantically with anyone else, because of the way you feel about him, I'd say tell him, even if it does ruin your friendship. Why? You might ask. Because it's better to know if there is any future here or not, sooner, rather than later. Leave it and you may waste alot of time, pining over someone you will never have, when you could be getting over it and moving on with potentially finding someone to be with. Sure, you lose a good friend, might take a long time to adjust and heal emotionally, but you gain the possibility of being genuinely happy and breaking a cycle of unrequited love that will lead to inevitable misery, unless your mad and enjoy secretly being in love with someone.

Ofcourse, that's easy for me to say. You're the one that has to make the hard choice and deal with the blow back.

Good luck.
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Re: In love with my best friend

Unread postby JustAnotherGuy142 » 14 September 2021, 20:40

Thanks a lot, man. I'm going to try and consider these options, and then see how it goes. I'm probably not going to outright tell him, ut I plan to instead lead into it by asking questions. Again, I thank you a ton for this.
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Re: In love with my best friend

Unread postby ethanroy011 » 15 September 2021, 05:26

Well, Just take time and try to share the feelings. Atleast your frnd will know what you feel.
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