Is the request of need of space a break up?

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Is the request of need of space a break up?

Unread postby Zurdoknoc » 21 June 2020, 16:48

Got a new boyfriend. We have been dating for 3-4 months and became boyfriends almost a month ago. Things were going really good. He had some family issues (he is a caregiver of grandma) and he shit me down. He didn’t text or call in 3 days. I tried to contact him but he didn’t respond. At some point I asked (over text) if I did Something wrong to deserve the zero communication. He got a bit upset and said I was taking this personal when he is going thought a lot and he said he hadn’t returned any calls to anyone. He said he was a bit annoyed and needed some space. It’s been 10 days and I haven’t heard from him at all. I have not contacted him at all.
The lack of comunication it’s just bullshit and I think if he needed to break up He would have said it.

Are we done or not? Shall we talk about braking up?
Please advice
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Re: Is the request of need of space a break up?

Unread postby Eryx » 22 June 2020, 14:13

This is like the third time something similar happens in a very short period of time. Unforeseen quarantine effects? I wonder.
I really can't say, man, these things vary from case to case. If someone asked me for some time this early in the relationship, I'd probably start trying to get over it. As I've said before in a very similar thread, family issues are something I'd actually like to have my boyfriend around for, so that he can be there for support and so that I can vent to someone I trust. It's probably not a good sign that he'd rather have you away.

But nobody here is going to be more helpful than yourself to sort this out.

The lack of communication it’s just bullshit and I think if he needed to break up He would have said it.

Are we done or not? Shall we talk about breaking up?
This is what you need to figure out with him.
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Re: Is the request of need of space a break up?

Unread postby Zurdoknoc » 22 June 2020, 21:03

He responded to the “I care “ text I sent hi. He just said “hi, things are a bit better and more stable with grandma. Thanks for checking in and asking”.
That’s all. I just “haply to hear, here if you need to talk” we shall see.
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Re: Is the request of need of space a break up?

Unread postby Zurdoknoc » 24 June 2020, 14:51

I decided to move on and be single again. Life is too short to just sit and wait for someone to figure out his own life and love you. Love what loves you back someone told me. I understand he has issues to figure out but putting people you care on the side anD expecting them to sit and wait without even showing care it’s not okay.
Thanks all for reading
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Re: Is the request of need of space a break up?

Unread postby ThatNomad » 24 June 2020, 15:22

I think you made a wise decision. Always remember that your health, especially mental health, and well-being is far more important than anything else. He was causing you anxiety, and making you feel less than valued. That's not okay from someone who is supposed to care about you. At the very least he could have communicated better so that you didn't feel totally shut out. When he failed to do that, in my opinion, he showed one of two things, either he doesn't care, or he's too immature to communicate. Neither one is healthy, or okay.
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Re: Is the request of need of space a break up?

Unread postby Zurdoknoc » 24 June 2020, 16:05

Indeed... I totally agree with you. I’m not needy or pushy with him. I totally understood he needed time to take care of his family issues. He saw me like the one he could talk less. Text less and see less or better said none of that. I’m not taking this personal at all but when you care about someone you don’t just let them go. I showed I care but seems like I’m not part of his approach to life now. Thanks for your reply. Very helpful
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