Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby Brenden » 9 July 2019, 21:49

NobodySpecial wrote:I don't know the whole range of possible drugs in nature, but it is true that alcohol is found every where because in nature as the fermentation process happens everywhere that humans live. You don't have to cultivate something (such as poppies [heroine], marijuana, coca (cocaine], etc to make it, it simply exists.

Um, what? Drinkable alcohol doesn't just spontaneously appear wherever humans are. It not only involves plant cultivation (grains or fruits, often more temperamental plants than weed), but requires a number of further steps in its production, particularly spirits.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 9 July 2019, 22:18

Lenin wrote:OP,

You need to apologize quickly and profusely. Every relationship has the occasional serious battle royale, some survive and some do not.
After about 5 years my partner wounded me with a lie so serious that almost caused me to walk out of the relationship. After some soul searching I forgave him and we stayed lovingly together for the next 40 years.
He died suddenly the day before New Years eve and I almost wish I had died with him. He was my whole life and half of me feels dead inside.


I know what you stated at the end is so sad, I hope you see the beauty of the fact that you two were a duo for 40 years. Whether you ever legally and/or religiously formalized the relationship doesn't matter, you had the essence of what some heterosexuals see as so holy: "for better or worse, for rich or for poor, until death do you depart". No piece of paper could make it any more valid than what you described you had. (I'm not putting gay marriage down as I believe in it. I'm just saying that you had it regardless of any formality.)

I wish I could have 40 years with my guy. However, we are only at 16 years, and we are both right at 60 -- him the other day, me in 5 months. I have my doubts that either one of us will make it to 84 when we would have 40 years like you did.

While it may be selfish of me to say so, I hope I go before he goes. He adapts to change better than I do, plus he has children and grandchildren. I have just him. (I thought about getting married years ago as I wanted to sire children, but when I found out I was infertile, I realized it was silly to do so. So I would just be a burden to strangers Plus, his kids do not owe me anything. He is also truly is my better half.

I will add that I underestimated the ability of another man to love. Not because of something he said or did to make me feel that way, but from life experiences. However, I almost died last fall from a silly mosquito bite that gave me West Nile. I was in the hospital for 5 weeks, he was always there except to go home to check in on things. When I finally awoke from sedation (around 11 days), he cried when he told me I almost didn't make it. I realized then it was stupid to hold onto stupid stereotypes that males who were manly were incapable of true love -- especially towards another man. A man doesn't have to stop being a man to feel love for another man. I hope I never put him through that again.

I truly believe that there has to be something after this life. It would be a universal flaw if we evolve to the point to where we have all these thoughts, feelings, etc, and then absolutely nothing. It isn't due to fear of death that I feel this way, but just what a waste it is if in the small speckle of time we exist within the confines of the universe that this is all it is. If thoughts and feelings are just electro-chemical firings, who is to say that those same permutations of firings don't go on somewhere else in the universe after death. I cannot prove anything and I don't try to preach to convert others. Simply, I would be a lousy atheist as it is to boring to think that for all of our existence get only a fraction of time in what seems for all practical purposes an infinite universe. That is why I truly believe that somewhere, somehow you will be reunited again where you can continue to have more chapters in your existence together. You should be so proud of what you had for so long.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 9 July 2019, 22:23

Brenden wrote:
NobodySpecial wrote:I don't know the whole range of possible drugs in nature, but it is true that alcohol is found every where because in nature as the fermentation process happens everywhere that humans live. You don't have to cultivate something (such as poppies [heroine], marijuana, coca (cocaine], etc to make it, it simply exists.

Um, what? Drinkable alcohol doesn't just spontaneously appear wherever humans are. It not only involves plant cultivation (grains or fruits, often more temperamental plants than weed), but requires a number of further steps in its production, particularly spirits.


I don't know where you are from but your comment seems rather odd. I put some peaches away, and forgot about them. When I did finally find them, I tried to eat them, but they had fermented on me.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby Brenden » 9 July 2019, 22:29

NobodySpecial wrote:
Brenden wrote:
NobodySpecial wrote:I don't know the whole range of possible drugs in nature, but it is true that alcohol is found every where because in nature as the fermentation process happens everywhere that humans live. You don't have to cultivate something (such as poppies [heroine], marijuana, coca (cocaine], etc to make it, it simply exists.

Um, what? Drinkable alcohol doesn't just spontaneously appear wherever humans are. It not only involves plant cultivation (grains or fruits, often more temperamental plants than weed), but requires a number of further steps in its production, particularly spirits.

I don't know where you are from but your comment seems rather odd. I put some peaches away, and forgot about them. When I did finally find them, I tried to eat them, but they had fermented on me.

No one uses rotting table fruit as a drug.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 9 July 2019, 22:43

It wasn't rotten; it was fermented. Learn the difference...

"Rotton food will smell putrid which we are biologically wired to reject.

So you can trust that your nose will know the difference."

In my case, I got the tupperware container out of the refrigerator. It smelled fine. Then I tasted it and it had that twang that you experience when you taste like a fruit liquor. It smells like the fruilt -- in fact more concentrated than non-fermented, but it tastes horrible with that twang included. That is what the peaches and their juice tasted like. So I threw it out. I do not have some distillery in my house, it just naturally turned that way. I've experienced similar in salad bars in restaurants especially with peaches when they don't bother to throw out the uneaten fruit -- instead they just refrigerate, and serve the same out on the bar day after day.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby Brenden » 9 July 2019, 22:49

Don’t be obtuse. You know very well that people aren’t getting drunk on rotting fruit.

And yes, fermentation is a stage of decomposition — rotting. It’s the breakdown of carbohydrates by microorganisms, in particular fungi.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby NobodySpecial » 9 July 2019, 22:58

Your simply being dense.

Do you think some god gave human kind a book on distilling? No, fermentation was a naturally occurring process. They simply learned to distill the process to make it in larger quantities and to make the result at a higher proof.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby homomorphism » 10 July 2019, 01:31

René wrote:Hey Michael :keke:

homomorphism wrote:
René wrote:
Eryx wrote:
René wrote:like giving up alcohol

That's kind of an extreme thing to say to someone who's only had one outburst and without you having any more context, wouldn't you think?

I think it's a sad state of affairs when the suggestion of quitting what is objectively one of the most harmful recreational drugs out there is considered extreme.

When it comes to health related concerns, sure, I agree -- it's a no-brainer.

The majority of the harms of alcohol actually appear to stem from the consequences it has for others not doing the drinking.

homomorphism wrote:But within the context of the OP's relationship, it is maybe a bit extreme.

Sometimes it's good to think outside the box and consider things you've never contemplated before. I've met so many people who are just stunned at the fact that I basically don't drink, who've never actually considered a life without this drug any more than they've considered a life without oxygen or food.

homomorphism wrote:
I started dating a guy that is 10 years older than me [...] He and his partner of a decade split last year [...]we decided to just be friends.. reason being, He is trying to build his career and he cant give me the time I deserve [...] but felt that he got ahead of himself in the moving on department. (enough time hasnt passed)

So OP was a rebound to the end of a decade long relationship, the OP's ex eventually decided to focus on himself and not on a relationship, and the OP is hurt.

Alcohol isn't helping him, but the OP at this point is chasing after a relationship that doesn't exist because the other guy doesn't even want it right now. Sure, give up drinking, but the OP needs to establish some emotional distance and move on with his life. Maybe the other guy will eventually have dealt with all of his issues and be ready to start something, but that time isn't now.

To answer the OP's question -- is there any hope for your relationship? No, because you're not in one.

Certainly, the main likely positive impact would be on future relationships.


Hi, I missed you all :)
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby Derek » 10 July 2019, 01:42

Uh-oh. Why are you here? Is everything okay?
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby homomorphism » 10 July 2019, 02:00

Derek wrote:Uh-oh. Why are you here? Is everything okay?


I sometimes just show up because I miss y'all
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby Jzone » 10 July 2019, 06:31

Brenden wrote:No one uses rotting table fruit as a drug.

Our distant ancestors had to start somewhere. Pass me the rotten grapes. Alcoholic Animals
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby PopTart » 10 July 2019, 08:29

Jzone wrote:
Brenden wrote:No one uses rotting table fruit as a drug.

Our distant ancestors had to start somewhere. Pass me the rotten grapes. Alcoholic Animals

Love the quote at the end of that article, so very true!

“People just want to believe in drunken elephants.”
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby Brenden » 10 July 2019, 10:14

NobodySpecial wrote:Your simply being dense.

Do you think some god gave human kind a book on distilling? No, fermentation was a naturally occurring process. They simply learned to distill the process to make it in larger quantities and to make the result at a higher proof.

You're the one being dense.

Your original point was comparing the natural availability and production of alcohol to other drugs, saying "alcohol is found every where" and that "you don't have to cultivate something (such as poppies [heroine], marijuana, coca (cocaine], etc to make it, it simply exists."

To actually get an appreciable amount of alcohol for society to use as a drug, you do need to both cultivate plants (grains or fruits) and process the plants to make it. It doesn't just "simply exist" in amounts that are suitable for use as a drug.

By comparison, cannabis grows easily pretty much everywhere (another name for it is weed, after all) with no need for special cultivation techniques, and requires minimal processing (essentially just drying out) before its ready for use as a drug.

Jzone wrote:
Brenden wrote:No one uses rotting table fruit as a drug.

Our distant ancestors had to start somewhere. Pass me the rotten grapes. Alcoholic Animals

The discussion wasn't about the origin of drugs, it was about the availability and production of drugs:
NobodySpecial wrote:You don't have to cultivate something (such as poppies [heroine], marijuana, coca (cocaine], etc to make it, it simply exists.

Present tense.
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Re: Is there any hope left (after a huge fight)?

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 10 July 2019, 10:43

homomorphism wrote:
Derek wrote:Uh-oh. Why are you here? Is everything okay?


I sometimes just show up because I miss y'all

No really, what gives?

I’m just playing. :hug: Welcome home.
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