Lack of (gay) relationships advice needed

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Re: Lack of (gay) relationships advice needed

Unread postby lostinspace94 » 2 August 2020, 19:01

theoux wrote:Yeah if you feel comfortable messaging me on here privately. I feel like im missing context.

Did your therapist give you any insight into your relationship with your friend?

You said you tried meetups. What usually happens at these?


Sure will send.

None. All therapists (and I saw a few and shared what I shared with you with them) didn’t say anything negative / for me to improve. I still squeezed them for something and they came up with nothing.

Meet-ups result in WhatsApp number exchanges and then nothing again.
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Re: Lack of (gay) relationships advice needed

Unread postby theoux » 2 August 2020, 21:06

hmm i read it. How old is he? My opinion, it seemed kinda one-sided (you're always paying and offering, and initiating contact). its just stuff but you set it up for him not to invest in the friendship by paying for everything. He may not have been doing this intentionally as it seemed like he was going through a pretty stressful time: new internship, moving to London. Third, it sounds like he isnt stable; he moves and changes a lot. I know your friendship endured life changes earlier to your surprise but people who change like that all the time dont seem reliable.

How intimate and deep would you say the convos were with him?
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Re: Lack of (gay) relationships advice needed

Unread postby lostinspace94 » 3 August 2020, 10:14

theoux wrote:hmm i read it. How old is he? My opinion, it seemed kinda one-sided (you're always paying and offering, and initiating contact). its just stuff but you set it up for him not to invest in the friendship by paying for everything. He may not have been doing this intentionally as it seemed like he was going through a pretty stressful time: new internship, moving to London. Third, it sounds like he isnt stable; he moves and changes a lot. I know your friendship endured life changes earlier to your surprise but people who change like that all the time dont seem reliable.

How intimate and deep would you say the convos were with him?


I think 28 now?
The paying was initially. The conversation after is what I am indexing on. He did reply pretty timely each time for a while which is why I thought he was invested.
I think the points you raised were initially again and I respected that. Hence I thought we would drift once he moved back home and was stable but we didn’t.
The convos were not deep I don’t think hence I don’t get the ‘strain’ in keeping in touch and why he decided to completely cut me out.
lostinspace94
 
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Re: Lack of (gay) relationships advice needed

Unread postby theoux » 3 August 2020, 10:48

I read the other thread and PMed.


lostinspace94 wrote:
theoux wrote:hmm i read it. How old is he? My opinion, it seemed kinda one-sided (you're always paying and offering, and initiating contact). its just stuff but you set it up for him not to invest in the friendship by paying for everything. He may not have been doing this intentionally as it seemed like he was going through a pretty stressful time: new internship, moving to London. Third, it sounds like he isnt stable; he moves and changes a lot. I know your friendship endured life changes earlier to your surprise but people who change like that all the time dont seem reliable.

How intimate and deep would you say the convos were with him?


I think 28 now?
The paying was initially. The conversation after is what I am indexing on. He did reply pretty timely each time for a while which is why I thought he was invested.
I think the points you raised were initially again and I respected that. Hence I thought we would drift once he moved back home and was stable but we didn’t.
The convos were not deep I don’t think hence I don’t get the ‘strain’ in keeping in touch and why he decided to completely cut me out.
theoux
 
Posts: 46
+1s received: 6
Joined: 17 July 2020, 00:04
Country: Germany (de)

Re: Lack of (gay) relationships advice needed

Unread postby lostinspace94 » 3 August 2020, 19:37

theoux wrote:I read the other thread and PMed.


Thanks, messaged back.
lostinspace94
 
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