Lied and snuck around

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Lied and snuck around

Unread postby JR1990 » 30 August 2021, 06:39

Hey everyone, so I'm ready for the judgement about this one but I recognize that I was in the wrong and shouldn't have done everything I'm about to spill here.

I just broke off a 6 year relationship, three weeks ago, with my fiancé because of issues that were growing and growing in our relationship. I left my job, my family, moved to a town I know nobody and nothing about, the list goes on. Well he tried to give me an out of the relationship in February telling me to stay home because this town would hold me back. Well it is and I should have taken the out when I had the chance.

Well last year we started an open relationship and were hooking up with different people. Fast forward to this April where we both met a guy, had a threesome, but this new guy and I really hit it off. He's only in town for two years and made it clear he didn't want a relationship but only FWBs. My then fiancé, noticed I was spending more time with him and assumed we were having bare sex which was against our rules that in June he said to stop seeing the new guy. I didn't and started lying to both my fiancé and the new guy about hanging out and the sex.

Breakup was the first week of August. My now ex went over to the guy's place the following week to air everything out and that's when the new guy found out about the lies and sneaking around. I went over the second Wednesday to talk it out and that's when the new guy said he was disappointed in me and couldn't trust me anymore and that the sex was going to stop for the time being. This was two weeks ago.

Now the new guy didn't stop my talking to him and would even joke sexually with me, he even let me continue calling him babe and baby. We also still have each other's stuff at each other's houses and keys. He even came over for dinner last Monday with my ex and I, but said no to movie night solo with me this past weekend.

Well the new guy is kinda being cold to me and keeps saying he can't trust me with everything going on. I get that it's only been two weeks but can I get him back in time?
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Re: Lied and snuck around

Unread postby PopTart » 30 August 2021, 11:10

Perhaps you need to acknowledge that you have developed an emotional attachment to a man who clearly told you from the outset, that he wasn't interested in any serious commitment, he only wanted a FWB arrangement.

I think it understandable that, having moved to an unfamiliar place with your partner (for his work perhaps? You don't say) that maybe your feeling isolated and alone. Maybe you have felt at odds with your partner. Maybe things have become familiar, rote and you felt the need to spice things up and break out of old habits.

If any of that is true. I'm sorry to say, you have gone the wrong way about dealing with such issues.

In particular and relating to the main thrust of your query, no, I don't think you can get this FWB guy, back in time. Because you never had him in the first place. He was only ever "passing through"
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