Making a choice between two people.

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Re: Making a choice between two people.

Unread postby Eos » 19 June 2019, 14:00

You say it's not based on interest but after that you say each person must want to explore the other person's interest.
So they matter. Of course it doesn't to be identical. But I still know myself, and I know I'll never get into a sport. Always hated that.
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Re: Making a choice between two people.

Unread postby JoelR » 19 June 2019, 14:04

You're missing my broader point, which is that two people must like each other ENOUGH to support each other - whether that's financially, health, emotionally, and yes, interest. The more important point is that your partner wants to align with you. I personally think interests are some of the most minor factors of compatibility. There are other factors like socioeconomic standards, financial management, and professional aspirations that are much more important.

Marrying someone because they like the color green or they're a Gemini is one of the shallowest facets to choosing a lifemate, which is THE most important decision you can ever make in your life.
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Re: Making a choice between two people.

Unread postby PopTart » 19 June 2019, 15:03

So the more understanding guy, you have some affection for him, but is that coming from the fact you've felt comfortable opening upto him and he has been receptive? That can be quite a powerful experience, if you arent used to that kind of emotional sharing, but you have to ask yourself if that affection and appreciation you feel, equals the first inclines of mutual love and affection? You admit you dont feel attracted to him and in my experience and like Eryx said, that isnt a fabulous indicator, sure, physical appreciation can come later, but it take alot more work and a kind of kidney (kismet, autocorrect is the bane of my life some days ) moment somewhere down the line.

The second guy, you have alot in common with, in interests and you admit you are actually attracted to him.

From where I'm standing, it seems to me that both are presently in the friend zone for you but that the second, more like you guy, is speaking to you on a more intimate level, while the first, I get the impression that perhaps, this is a guy that for you, might be a potentially great friend.

I do agree with Joel, in that it's likely abit too soon to be thinking long term with either of these guys, since you arent committed to either and committing to either so soon is exactly wise (still too much you each dont know about eachother) I'd suggest more dates with both.

If your uncomfortable with courting both at once, you could keep it purely platonic for the time being (no sex) this could have the added advantage of telling you, how long one or both are willing to wait around until you know where your at.
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Re: Making a choice between two people.

Unread postby Eos » 20 June 2019, 12:22

Thank you both for your opinions.

Yes it felt powerful to open right away with the first guy, tough I'm working a lot on my problems with a lot of different people already.
I didn't try to contact them both this week, too much things going on so I'm letting time go and see how I feel about both guys.
My feelings for the first guy are not going any better, if not worse. For the second I'm completely lost and don't know what to feel so I'll let time do the work for now.
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