Marriage

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Marriage

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 7 April 2019, 16:30

Considering how some of you are married or have been, I’m curious to know a few things—and even if those who aren’t married but are considering it as a likely commitment with a future partner. What was your reason for getting married? Assuming it wasn’t solely or predominantly for the tax benefits, describe in detail why you felt this was something you really wanted to partake in. Also, there are some gay guys who have decided to change their last names (either taking their husband’s or hyphenating). If you’ve done this or are considering doing it, why is this important to you? Have any of you changed your perspective on the institution of marriage, perhaps once you’ve gotten married yourself, and, if so, for what reason? On a larger scale, do you hold the view that most people ought to aspire to it and, if so, why?
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Re: Marriage

Unread postby Brenden » 7 April 2019, 16:44

What a coincidence; just in time for our 9-year civil-union-converted-to-marriage-by-the-state-of-Connecticut-ex-post-facto anniversary tomorrow. :lol:

poolerboy0077 wrote:What was your reason for getting married? Assuming it wasn’t solely or predominantly for the tax benefits, describe in detail why you felt this was something you really wanted to partake in.

(Besides needing to acutely for immigration purposes.) I wanted to join a social institution that is one of the pillars of a stable society and have my relationship be formally recognised by society. Furthermore I wanted the stability that an indissoluble (well, difficult to dissolve, at least) contract and personal understanding brings.

poolerboy0077 wrote:On a larger scale, do you hold the view that most people ought to aspire to it and, if so, why?

I think only people who know its what they want and take it seriously should aspire to it. Dreaming of a wedding day and having an expensive wedding for show isn't taking it seriously. A marriage is not a one day affair, it's the countless days afterward, ideally for the rest of one's life.
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Re: Marriage

Unread postby René » 7 April 2019, 16:45

Brenden wrote:What a coincidence; just in time for our 9-year civil-union-converted-to-marriage-by-the-state-of-Connecticut-ex-post-facto anniversary tomorrow. :lol:

:heart:

It's also the 10th anniversary of our relationship. :keke:
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Re: Marriage

Unread postby Victor_Laszlo » 7 April 2019, 19:14

^^Get a room you two. :lol:

In all seriousness. Happy anniversary guys. :keke:
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Re: Marriage

Unread postby Eryx » 8 April 2019, 14:50

I like the exchange of last names to show you're committed to being part of someone else's life. Not ownership, but integration. Also hospital visits and the whole feeling of going against the world together. Sure, you can have that just by living with someone, and I've been there, but the title of being married and the way you present to others once it happens is very special, at least to me.

I want to make the fact that I have the privilege to get legally married in my own country count. A lot of people can't do it, a lot of people out there have to run and hide, so I want to be an example that it matters to be out of the closet and showing society that homosexuality isn't only about promiscuity (important to say I have no problems with it).

I want to have kids, and the adoption process is much easier when you're married to someone else and have a stable household with a comfortable income. It's difficult for single parents to get adoption rights in Brazil.

And I guess I'm a little old-fashioned in this regard. I like the idea of a party with all our families there, the whole ritualistic aspect of it all. I can't wait to make trips together and celebrate numbers of years together, just like René and Brenden are doing right now. The whole thing appeals to me.

I understand people who don't care about marriage and I can even see where they're coming from with their arguments, but I like the idea of it and I'm all for it. At least for my life.
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