Mixed Signals from a Friend

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Mixed Signals from a Friend

Unread postby phillipsevan9 » 17 September 2021, 18:51

I'm having a really hard time deciphering whether or not my friend has feelings for me or if he's just a flirt who likes attention. I've known him for almost 2 years now and I've fallen in and out of feelings for him a few times before. The bad thing: he's never said he has an interest in guy and I know he's had previous relationships with women. And I feel bad for speculating, but I really like him.

He has a nickname for me. We tease each other a lot and he mimics my mannerisms, phrases, and talks in a more feminine tone of voice when he's with me (its something I started), but he dials it back around others, especially his guy friends (he's also in a frat. I KNOW! 😭 shame on me.) One night out at the bars, I decided to flirt a little bit and at first he was defensive and was said "Stop! You're flirting too much." Paused, switched to the more feminine tone and said "...but you know that I like it." He gives me compliments every time I see him, which is almost everyday because we also work at Starbucks together. The other day I mentioned getting a haircut and he blurted out "No! I like your hair." He also gives me these looks that feel like he's trying to look into my soul. I feel like the rest is better summarized by a list so here we go:

    - My friend and I were fake fighting (he knows we do that) and he got defensive over me
    - He's always one of the first people to see my snap story or like my instagram posts.
    - Asked me if I was excited to study with him again since we're back in school (the way he asked made it sound like a date)
    - Asked me to go to a concert with him. At first it was just him and I, but then he asked a couple others (who now can't go). When he told me this he asked if I was excited it was just gonna be him and I.
    - He got playfully upset when I had to leave studying to go to class, but then corrected himself saying he doesn't care.
    - Noticed when I left his small house party and texted me to see if I was okay (maybe he was just being a good friend but his texting style was different than usual)
    - He'll touch me on the shoulders every once in a while, but not while other people are around
    - While at a house party, one of my friends asked what the pretzel position was and he said he would show her using me as an example and then quickly said "Never mind, never mind. Sorry, but I can only be homo with you so much." (kinda made me mad that he phrased it like that, but he doesn't ever talk like that which makes me think he was trying to overcompensate for the fact I was the person who came to mind).
    - He seemed upset and less talkative with me after I was talking to another one of our guy friends more than him. And then he saw us vaping in bathroom together.
    - I've heard him tell me that this one guy was hot and then asked if would let that guy fuck me. He also once told his roommate one that he would let him fuck Him because he looked good with his new haircut.

Heres some fo the issues I'm running in to:
He rarely texts me first, but when I asked him why he never wants to hang out with me he said "What are you talking about I always want to hang out with you! But you never ask me to." Same thing when I asked why he didn't let me know when he was studying. It was because I never asked. So I'm having a hard time figuring out if it's because he actually doesn't want to, or if its just because he's in the same boat as me and is too nervous to ask because he doesn't know how I feel. The other day he also asked me out of the blue to help him find a girlfriend. And I can't tell if he was asking because he was genuine or if he was trying to gauge my reaction, but every time I see him with women, he doesn't seem flirty.

Sorry this ended up being such a long post, so thanks to everyone who read it. I greatly appreciate it because it feels like I'm in limbo right now because I am bad at showing interest in him myself because I'm nervous what he'll say. Any thoughts and advice will be appreciated! ❤️
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