my boyfriend is still traumatized with his ex.

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my boyfriend is still traumatized with his ex.

Unread postby Balsatian » 24 January 2019, 19:13

Hi, how are you doing.
I find this forum very interested and that's why I encourage you all to give me your opinion.
I've been in a relationship with a guy for the last 8 months. At the beginning everything was very beautiful and even romantic until I started feeling he was getting colder and even distant with me. I assumed he was losing interest so I asked him if he was wanting to break up. We had a deep conversation and in tears he confessed he was starting to care and to fall with me so his fear to lose me blocked him and prevented him self from showing affection. It was due to previous traumatic retaliationships. After that I've been seeing improvement. I've been patient and avoided to rush him. But lately we got news about his exboyfriend , and even if his attitude towards me is improving I can't help why he still keeps this trauma with this person. It's been already 3 years since they split but this trauma seems to still remain unsolved, and I can't help thinking and fearing that it could pose a problem between us in the future. Anyone with experience with traumatized boyfriends?
Thank You!!
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Re: my boyfriend is still traumatized with his ex.

Unread postby erti » 24 January 2019, 21:10

perhaps couples counseling may help...

i was sexually abused and raped by my mom ex boyfriend from around the age of 3 (probably earlier) and up until i was 7 years old. i suffer from ptsd from it. it's hard to just get over. Your boyfriend may need more help. how open is he with counseling and getting help? Counseling has help me when it comes to sex. it may never go away but at least i can enjoy sex.
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Re: my boyfriend is still traumatized with his ex.

Unread postby Balsatian » 24 January 2019, 21:23

erti wrote:perhaps couples counseling may help...

i was sexually abused and raped by my mom ex boyfriend from around the age of 3 (probably earlier) and up until i was 7 years old. i suffer from ptsd from it. it's hard to just get over. Your boyfriend may need more help. how open is he with counseling and getting help? Counseling has help me when it comes to sex. it may never go away but at least i can enjoy sex.



Thanks for your response.

He's getting professional help, he's in therapy. Maybe I'm too impatient..., maybe I need conseling too...
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Re: my boyfriend is still traumatized with his ex.

Unread postby erti » 24 January 2019, 21:37

counseling, with the right person, can only help you. it's not a bad thing. perhaps couples counseling can help? it can take years for someone to accept and move on from trauma like that.
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