My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby Derek » 29 February 2020, 02:34

Brenden wrote:So you admit that using terms such as “gender diverse” makes someone confused?

Otherwise, how is this person confused? Confused by her boyfriend not liking drag? So…? You’re acting like this person — who’s less than a year away from being an adult, yet you keep referring to as a “child” in an appeal to emotion — is themselves trans-whatever and asked something about being trans.

The OP is trying to reconcile their view of a person with an attitude they associate with prejudice. I think their confusion over why their boyfriend felt that way was genuine and understandable.

And yes, a kid. Maybe their age doesn't mean anything to you, and I think that's on brand.

Brenden wrote:Using terms like “gender diverse” is ridiculous. It is postmodern identity crap that goes against biological reality. There are two genders, they arose naturally from the sexual dimorphism of our species. Full stop. Anything more is just invented nonsense that mentally disturbed people are coming up with to feed their delusions and expecting — demanding — society affirm.

Do we confirm the hallucinations of schizophrenics? “Yes, that voice telling you to hurt yourself is real, go ahead, here’s a razor.”

Thus spaketh Brenden. Judith Butler in shambles.
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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby Brenden » 29 February 2020, 02:52

The second and third largest political parties in this country want to give 16-year-olds the right to vote. They’re allowed to drive cars, have sex, drink beer and wine, and provisionally join the military or choose to go into massive debt (major life decisions). So no, not a “kid” or “child”.

Okay, so they’re confused, in the broad dictionary definition of the word. Hopefully my blunt reply helped to dispel their “confusion”!

So you’re not going to refute it, then? Just make a snide remark?
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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby Derek » 29 February 2020, 03:06

Brenden wrote:The second and third largest political parties in this country want to give 16-year-olds the right to vote. They’re allowed to drive cars, have sex, drink beer and wine, and provisionally join the military or choose to go into massive debt (major life decisions). So no, not a “kid” or “child”.

So, not a 1st Amendment issue or a 26th Amendment issue. Maybe I won't sue.

So you’re not going to refute it, then? Just make a snide remark?

Refute what? A 380 character declaration of what gender is? Which, I assume, when properly interpreted, justifies being an asshole?

I don't care about non-binary gender theory. I don't know what those people feel and it doesn't matter to me. And I'm not interested in a bad-faith argument that's clearly just a cover for your irrational contempt.
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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 1 March 2020, 14:20

Brenden wrote:“Genderqueer”

I would laugh at the ridiculousness of it but I don’t think laughing at the mentally ill is very nice.


Brenden wrote:Drag Is just ridiculous


Is being ridiculous one of the worst things a person can be in your eyes because you throw that insult out a lot.

Imagine taking yourself so serious and holding yourself in such high esteem that you don't even see how pathetic you are being in thinking that you know what is right for everyone even when it comes to their own personal lived experience.
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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby Magic J » 1 March 2020, 14:38

Also, why the dig at the term "genderqueer"? I always thought that the term was typically used by people who were against and critical of the common (medical, binary) conception of transgender identities? I would have thought that you'd have some commonalities? :shrug:
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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby Brenden » 1 March 2020, 21:25

Magic J wrote:Also, why the dig at the term "genderqueer"? I always thought that the term was typically used by people who were against and critical of the common (medical, binary) conception of transgender identities? I would have thought that you'd have some commonalities? :shrug:

Except the medical, binary conception of gender is based on reality. The notion that there are more than two genders and that people switch between them and other such silliness typically grouped under the term “genderqueer” is asinine.

The term queer also means “strange, odd” by definition. I hate this trend of latching onto negative words once used derisively like queer and trying to make them mean something they don’t and use them in a positive way. It’s, yes GaySpacePirateKing, ridiculous.
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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby Magic J » 1 March 2020, 21:54

Brenden wrote:
Magic J wrote:Also, why the dig at the term "genderqueer"? I always thought that the term was typically used by people who were against and critical of the common (medical, binary) conception of transgender identities? I would have thought that you'd have some commonalities? :shrug:

Except the medical, binary conception of gender is based on reality. The notion that there are more than two genders and that people switch between them and other such silliness typically grouped under the term “genderqueer” is asinine.

The term queer also means “strange, odd” by definition. I hate this trend of latching onto negative words once used derisively like queer and trying to make them mean something they don’t and use them in a positive way. It’s, yes GaySpacePirateKing, ridiculous.

But isn't that the medical conception of sex difference, there being male, female, and the rarer varieties of intersex characteristics? The way we use the word "gender" today isn't synonymous with "sex", and it hasn't been since researchers generally began to make a distinction between biological sex and social behaviours from the 1960's. Of course there's observed behavioural differences which might be explainable with reference to sex, but there's also issues around socialisation, expected behaviour, and social roles which might be best approached as a phenomenon at least somewhat distinct from biological sex differences.

It just seems to me that the term "gender" as used today can be a useful analytical tool, and shouldn't be reduced to sex difference. There are people, and recognisable groups of people, who very obviously do not conform to the social expectations which are built around and on top of sex differences, and that's an issue of gender, isn't it?

I find myself quite accepting of the term "queer" these days, but that's not really the topic at hand. :P
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Re: My boyfriend is uncomfortable with drag - what do I do ?

Unread postby GaySpacePirateKing » 1 March 2020, 22:19

Brenden wrote:It’s, yes GaySpacePirateKing, ridiculous.


Get better shade.
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