My first broke up

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My first broke up

Unread postby rosie2002 » 3 June 2020, 06:08

Hi, everyone. I am in this forum because l feel sad. As you can read in the headline l just had my first broke up. It is quarantine time and l feel just lonely and sad because of that.

My relationship was about 6 years, l'm lesbian and basically l got out of the closet thanks to this person. I am not going to lie, l lived good times with her. However, since 2 years ago things were different. My grandpa died in 2018 and since then my relationship changed. I got depressed because of this situation, l looked for helped but it didn't work. Then, l started to be angry all the time for little things, and well, we always had arguments in the relationship.

Even though we tried, and l tried my best to be different, it was not that good. Also, l started to feel bad about my appearance and l just got dark. Last week, we had some arguments, and l committed the mistake to tell her that it was an error to be her friend. Everything goes really bad and well, she just told that it was over.

I tried to apologize already, but she said that she wanted space and it seemed that she didn't love me anymore.

I don't know what to do. I just obeyed her and we hadn't talk since that day. I feel really bad about it, l miss her... I've crying all these past days. I need help, or at least a good piece of advice so that l can't feel that lonely.

I really appreciate your comments, l hope everyone is doing okay...
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Re: My first broke up

Unread postby Frigid » 3 June 2020, 15:28

Two years on and you’re still affected by it and letting it affect the person you love probably means you could do with professional support.
poolerboy0077 wrote:Aren’t you a vegetarian? I hear your people’s farts are quite lethal. It doesn’t matter much if a volcano’s lip is clean when there lava pit is ready to burst at any unexpected moment.
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Re: My first broke up

Unread postby Eryx » 3 June 2020, 16:19

I agree, you need therapy for your grandfather. If you're still depressed and angry because he passed away after two years, you haven't been able to process losing someone dear to you and you need help to figure that out. It might also have just become a habit for you to be more aggressive and down, some sort of loop you fell into because of your grief, and if that's the case, you need therapy too.

Another upside of going to a psychologist or psychiatrist at this point is that not only can you get treatment for grieving, the professional will also be able to help you move on from this first heartbreak.

I remember my first break up and it was really, really shitty. No one can prepare you for how low you feel. But after a while things get better and the sky will clear out for you. Just stay strong and try to stay busy. Talk to other friends, get new projects, get back to thinking about what things you can do with your life and what you would like to do with it. Who knows, maybe even moving might be a cool new thing to do!

I'm sorry though, 6 years of a relationship ending must be rough. The best you can do now is remember the good things and learn something with the bad ones. One good thing I can think of when it comes to having broken up at least once is that there's a lot of valuable lessons you take from the first relationship to apply to the next one. That means you have a clean slate to be a better person for yourself and your partner. You can mature a lot when you break up with someone.

Sure, some people can get it right the first time around, but it's rarely the case. You can only get better as a partner moving forward, and you'll also be more aware of red flags with people you get closer to.
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