My first very weird relationship, please advise

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My first very weird relationship, please advise

Unread postby Lyon » 20 December 2021, 18:30

I have been flirting with a co-worker for more than half a year (we're both male). He is muscular, straight-looking although his gestures are quite gay, most people consider him to be manly. Initially, he only saw my flirting as jokes and thought of me as a brother (thats what he said), until the past few days:

We had a company trip where I stayed in the same room with him. We shared a double bed due to all the running joke in office that we were a couple. When we go to bed on the first night, he actively tried to cuddle me (literally spooning and hugging) although it seems like he was only goofing around. I didn't pay much attention but played along anyway.

On the second night, we had a long talk about past relationships and I let him know my insecurities about my body image and my fear of rejection. He tried to boost my confidence and encouraged me to go to bed half naked with him. We cuddled again. He also let me touch his body all over and rub his nipples (he especially likes this). But this time I noticed he would try to press his face against mine in a way that our lips would almost touch. I supressed my hormones and went to sleep in his arms.

On the third night, oh boy. I couldn't take it anymore and kissed him when we were cuddling. I met no resitance, only him moaning like a true bottom. He then guided me to remove his shirt. I went for his neck and worked towards his crotch. But when I tried to remove his pants, he wouldn't let me. He said he would let me do anything to his upper body but I cannot touch his lower body. I was like wtf ??? But since sex has to be consensual, I had no choice but to go back to (extremely horny) cuddling. However this time I can feel the cuddles becoming very intimate. We were holding each other tight.

After the third night, we would regularly hold hands, rub our faces and discreetly snuggle when nobody is around. Nevertheless, neither of us has said the L word until today. He also seems to be pretty adverse to the idea of having sex though he keeps telling me to fuck him and just being generally thirsty when nobody is around.

So um, how do I deal with this? More specifically, am I stuck with a sexless relationship? Is there anyway I can fix this? Or is it because I'm going to fast that he doesn't wanna have sex with me? Is this normal? What should I do next?

P.s. this is my first relationship so I have zero experience.
Fyi, he went through 3 relationships with women already. I'm his first man.
Lyon
 
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Country: Vietnam (vn)

Re: My first very weird relationship, please advise

Unread postby pozzie » 20 December 2021, 20:27

Welcome to the forum!

If you want a relationship with this particular man, then you're going to have to give him some space and time - time you need to get to know him better and for him to confide in you why he's reluctant to do certain things. That's his business: it's his body, his right to decide what to do with whom.

No, you don't need to be in a sexless relationship - you can move on and find someone else who shares your interests and reciprocates your desires. Enjoy the friendship and even the cuddling if you like it, but this isn't your only chance at happiness - you just have to keep searching for that.
pozzie
 
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