My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Ask questions and discuss your relationships with partners or parents, family or friends.

My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Ali_Earth » 1 June 2019, 15:56

Hello All,

Let me tell you my short story. Please read it till the end.

-1-

Five years ago, I met my friend Mark. and our friendship became stronger with time. However, I always had that feeling that he is a bit jealous from me and want some of the things I have. But, you know, it is just a feeling and not expressed in his behavior.

-2-

Four years ago, Mark introduced me to his friend Roger, and yeah we fell in love with each other. However, after 3 years I and Roger broke up. We had different interest and perspective towards life, so decided to end our love relationship with no hard feelings. We are still freinds till now. Besides that, ME, My ex, Mark and his lover, we are a group that hangs out with each other til now.

-3-
Mark has a friend called Sean. Sean is a great person and I share with him the same interests. You won't believe how much I and Sean are alike. I know that from Mark and because I stalked him on Social media! :p But why I did that?
Mark never introduced me to Sean Although he knows how much I and Sean are alike, Mark is making an effort to NOT Meet him!
I have insisted many times on Mark to introduce me to Sean, he refuses. and Yes One day he told me I don't want to introduce him to Bottoms. The fact that Sean is a TOP! (Mark is a bottom btw)

-4-
Facts:
-Mark admitted that if I and sean meet, we will like each other. YES! BUT HE Never INTRODUCES ME TO HIM!
- Mark wishes his love were like Sean in terms of personality and morals.
- Sean is very supportive of Mark in his life and plays a role in solving his Marks' issues with his boyfriend.
-Mark introduced Sean to my EX. he has no problem in introducing Sean to other people, but not me.

Conclusion:

1 . Mark has introduced me in past years to a friend that he became my lover. But now, he is unwilling to introduce me to a person who is really a copy of me. we are so alike. And because we are alike, he doesn't want us to meet!
2. I can't stop thinking of Sean :( He is made to be soulmate before anything.

What is the psychology behind Mark's behaviors? Why is he acting this way? Should I take a distance from Mark? Is he a good friend? Does he wish Sean to be his lover but he knows that Sean gets interested in someone like me and not him? Is Mark selfish and he is afraid that Sean will give him less attentionto him if he enters a relationship with me?
Ali_Earth
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 1 June 2019, 09:35
Country: Lebanon (lb)

Re: My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Iamjava » 1 June 2019, 16:18

my brain hurts..

so, your ex doesnt want to to introduce you to the new guy. theyre just friends. the last time he introduced you to someone, you kinda ran off on your ex. and sean is your clone. am i right so far?

if that is the case, i would surmise that this sean is not simply a friend to your ex. it is possible that there is more to the dynamics of their relationship that you are unaware of. after all, if sean is a lot like you, it would make sense if your ex had feelings for sean.

in conclusion, if you really want him, do the footwork yourself--just dont expect a happy ex.
Iamjava
 
Posts: 793
+1s received: 130
Joined: 27 May 2019, 21:42

Re: My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 1 June 2019, 23:02

It's weird that you think about your friends personal lives like this.
If it is bothering you that much, then you should mention it to mark. But be prepared for him to find all this strange and sorta egotistical on your part. And he may want to distance himself.
Formerly Victor_Lazslo
"We are stardust, we are golden." Joni Mitchell

"Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been."_____ the grateful dead.

Edna St. Vincent Millay — 'My candle burns at both ends;It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—It gives a lovely light!'
User avatar
Capt._Trips
 
Posts: 3286
+1s received: 2116
Joined: 30 September 2017, 16:43
Location: Pennsylvania
Country: United States (us)

Re: My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Jryski » 2 June 2019, 08:23

1: that was a bit hard to read.

2: Maybe Mark likes him?

3: Maybe Mark is scared of you ruining his relationship with Sean?

4:Maybe Mark is being protective of Sean because he thinks you'll be bad for Sean?

5:It seems a bit strange that you would think someone that you never met before is THAT compatible with you when they're still a stranger.

6:If you're already stalking the dude why not just add him and talk to him? You don't need Mark's permission to talk to someone. Mark doesn't own Sean.

7:There's alot of maybes and nothing's for certain until they are so it all depends on what you do I guess. If you do end up talking to Sean, be very prepared for him to possibly NOT be your soulmate. You still don't know him even though you have stalked his fb. Even if somehow you're right about you guys being identical in personality, he may or may not be attracted to you.
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 513
+1s received: 282
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Ali_Earth » 2 June 2019, 10:44

Thank you @Jryski for your time. Much appreciated.
I totally agree with. I still don't know Sean and a relationship with him migh not work. Howver, I am just wondering my freinds' behaviour and I've started thinking there is something wrong about our freindship. Also, I dont want to initiate a conversation with Sean on FB cuz i think it is gonna create tension between me and my freind! I don't want to end up losing both of them. I think I have to confront my freind and ask him why he is acting this way!!

Thanks again.
Ali_Earth
 
Posts: 2
Joined: 1 June 2019, 09:35
Country: Lebanon (lb)

Re: My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Jryski » 2 June 2019, 12:43

Communication is always the best way to clear up any confusion. :) good luck!
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 513
+1s received: 282
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Eryx » 3 June 2019, 03:41

One of the first times I agree wholeheartedly with IamJava. Maybe Mark has something for Sean, maybe Mark wants to protect Sean, or maybe Mark feels like things might get muddy and weird after you approach Sean. Something's there. You've broken up with Roger before, so it's not that hard to see.

I see a red flag in the fact that you consider someone you've never seen in person, or even talked to, a soulmate. He can't be your soulmate. He doesn't exist for you yet. You don't even know where he likes to eat, where he hangs out or if he plays a PS4, an Xbox or the flute. Calm down!
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 2128
+1s received: 1084
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: My Friend Doesn't Want ME To Date His Friend

Unread postby Iamjava » 3 June 2019, 04:26

between what hes been told and what hes seen stalking the poor guy, he may have a good idea about him.

your problem, ali, is the man of your dreams or your friend. though, honestly, i fear that you are too interested.

if you end up with this sean, thats two exboyfriends in how many years? what went wrong with the first two? you just found a new guy? my point is, if youre worried about your friend, how do you even know youll stay with seanman?

first time? youre the first person that said that! we need to work on our communication! :rofl:
Iamjava
 
Posts: 793
+1s received: 130
Joined: 27 May 2019, 21:42


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot] and 139 guests