My New Straight Friend Acts Like we Are Dating?? HELP!

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My New Straight Friend Acts Like we Are Dating?? HELP!

Unread postby TheBisexualTeen » 19 November 2018, 11:35

I am 24 and openly gay but most people assume I am straight. I live in a small city that has a few colleges in it and because of my work I am often meeting students from the local schools. About 1.5 months ago I was really drunk and decided to snapchat one of the hot college guys I met through work who I knew was straight and asked him if he wanted to be "bros" thinking he would say no or just brush it off. He surprisingly responded with yes and imedietly asked to hang out the next day. From that day forward we ended up hanging out almost every single night usually at his apartment with his group of friends or just me and him. After only a few days we became like best friends and he even calls me his big brother (he's 20) and even told all of his friends that I'm his actual older brother so we always call each other big bro and little bro. Even though we see each other every night we still text/snap all day every day. Heres the confusing part, I have a lot of straight male friends so I am used to how male heterosexual friendships are but this guy almost acts like we are dating but without any physical stuff.
Whenever we say goodbye we tightly hug and say I love you to each other (I'm the only friend he does this with), he tells me he loves me or that "I'm the best big bro in the whole world" multiple times a day over snapchat, and he asks to see me everyday plus is always sending cute snaps with hearts and such. After just a week of hanging out with him I fell for him really hard, like head over heals since he treats me better then even guys I've full on dated, likes all the same stuff as me and is really adorable. I ended up comfronting him about my feelings and told him that I'm not fully straight and that I really have feelings for him and always wished we could date. He responded by telling me that he's totally fine with me having feelings for him but that guys don't interest him at all so not to make any physical moves on him and then continued acting as if nothing happened.
What I don't get is how a straight guy can be like this, I have a lot of straight male friends and none of them are constantly hugging me and saying they love me and sending me hearts all day on snapchat. And the way we talk is not how straight friends talk to each other, we text as if we are dating, constantly telling each other I miss you and need to see you. He even tells me when the girls he hooks up with is coming over so that way I don't go over his apartment and get upset seeing him with her since she's often with his group of friends. He is about to go away for Thanksgiving break back home to his family and this will be the longest we have been apart (even though its only a week) so we are saying goodbye to each other tomorrow and going to have a last hug and I love you goodbye before he's gone.
Why is he like this? I literally would give anything for him to date me or even just cuddle with me but he's made it totally clear he's not into that but then continues to act as if we are dating or in love. I get that I'm a little older and he looks up to me and thinks I'm cool ( I am kind of a well known person in my area) but if you were a straight male wouldn't you feel weird constantly hanging out with a gay man who you know is into you let alone continue to act flirty and as if you're dating? Im so confused and its tearing me apart inside because I really really like him and feel the need to see him all the time but nothing ever happens and probably never will since he is straight. Help!
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Re: My New Straight Friend Acts Like we Are Dating?? HELP!

Unread postby Eryx » 19 November 2018, 14:10

Straight guys have feelings too, and something they crave is physical, emotional contact with other men. That's an issue in our society; they're taught to be tough, distant and stern but they all want hugs, kisses and affection. That doesn't make them gay.

He just loves you, man, in the purest way there is. And he's already told you that won't get physical, so you can only do one thing: accept it and move on. If the fact that he's unattainable hurts you, you need to let him know you need some time and just get away. But I don't think anything more than what is already happening is going to happen.

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Re: My New Straight Friend Acts Like we Are Dating?? HELP!

Unread postby PopTart » 19 November 2018, 16:08

I'm kinda with Eryx here.

You have to take what he says at face value. Is there a slim possibility that he might, might have gay leanings. Sure, that can be said of most people, that they might. But if he is telling you, that he loves you as a friend and regards you as someone very special, but only as a friend you have to take that for what it is.

It is funny, how often people come into our lives, who show more affection and care then those people we are actually or have been, with! :D

It can throw us through a loop.

I'd say you have a really good friend in this guy and while it must be difficult having these feelings, I'd atleast try to make the friendship work, you owe yourself that much.

That said, If you feel you can't divorce yourself from the feelings you have, then Eryx is right, you need to be upfront, with yourself and with him and take some time out, to see if you can get your house in order, so to speak and maybe come back later or move on entirely.
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Re: My New Straight Friend Acts Like we Are Dating?? HELP!

Unread postby lightnight » 19 November 2018, 20:22

He's probably been babied by his parents and he's formed this emotional bond with you and really looks up to you like an older brother. Which is cute and special! Cherish that. It's important to have close friendships.

You should also really looking elsewhere for sexual action 'cause he's been clear about it. Plus, he's probably all close because it's very recent (1.5 months?). Things will cool off later.
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Re: My New Straight Friend Acts Like we Are Dating?? HELP!

Unread postby mxguy01 » 19 November 2018, 22:03

You know you have a pretty cool thing going with having a straight friend that is willing to be your "bro" friend knowing your gay. Personally I would not screw that up but rather cherish it for what it is.
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