Need help please

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Need help please

Unread postby Panka » 6 February 2020, 14:05

Hi everyone im 23yo im from greece and im only attracted to older men and thats my case and i need help.

So in October as i was chilling on Grindr i noticed someone that looked interesting so ive sent him a message he wasnt greek but i didnt mind a little chat with him.I started the conversation he was 20km away from where i live but he told me he is on his way to Athens with a bus and im 1h and 30mins away from Athens but we kept talking we exchanged photos then he arrived to Athens he asked me if we could meet i told him i wasnt sure if can cuz i was busy and he said to me lets keep in touch.He was sending me messages like good morning he was sending me pictures what places he visited etc he was sweet.We were sexting a little bit nothing crazy.Then we both agreed to move to WhatsApp and i remember i only knew his first name so i was curious and concerned about who he was so i had to investigate and i just googled his phone number and i found out his whole name and that he is a Pastor i was kinda freaked out (i dont believe in god if that matters) i didnt tell him anything i just played it cool.When it was time to leave Athens.He sent me a video saying "I wanna tell you something before we go too far but please dont be scared or angry" and then he sents me a photo with his "pastor suit" and i played it cool and i told him i already knew that and i actually told him where he lives (i had to be stalker sorry) and he just laughed and said you are so lovely.He went back to his country he lives near buffalo NY but he is polish i knew that ofc.We are keep chatting exchanging Facebook (i already knew his account) and we were chatting really intensively we said i love you to each other but we were both kinda shy about it in the beginning and then we both felt the same thing and we were saying how crazy it is and we came to a point both realising that that doesnt lead anywhere we both knew it and we still do so we both agreed to stay good friends and in the beginning i was kinda sad about it i told him i wish we had a chance but he looked confident and said to me yes we have a chance to be good friends.In the meantime we were planning about meeting and since im not able to travel because im busy he said he could come.So we planned it but now im scared to meet him.(Btw he is 47yo but that's my preferences should i be cautious because he can trick me easily?)
Should i be scared?
Should i tell him to cancel?
Should i trust him?
Should we meet but be careful?
What should i do?

(Sorry about my English if you dont understand something let me know)
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Re: Need help please

Unread postby Brenden » 6 February 2020, 14:16

Why would you be scared? It sounds like he's been very open with you, exchanging personal details and making it clear who he is.
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Re: Need help please

Unread postby Panka » 6 February 2020, 14:25

Brenden wrote:Why would you be scared? It sounds like he's been very open with you, exchanging personal details and making it clear who he is.


I know but i asked on another site and people were like get away dont trust people from grindr!

But something important!
He said to me many times to visit him in usa and one of this times where like rlly soon before he got to know me which i realise know and that scares me and the fact as soon as we moved to WhatsApp he deleted his Grindr account!
What if he is a guy that meets people like that all the time.On the other hand i said to him we should meet but i want my brother in this (my brother is 38yo straight) and he was curious and asked me why he picks you on another country and not somebody else he is concerned too.But guys reaction was yea i would love to meet you guys!
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Re: Need help please

Unread postby Eryx » 6 February 2020, 14:57

He's a pastor, so it makes sense that he'd be careful about his Grindr account. He probably only installed it because he was in a different country where people from his home city wouldn't be able to track him down. I wouldn't worry too much about him being insincere, since he's opened up to you about everything (including being a pastor), the part I'd actually be bothered about is the fact that he is a pastor lol.

I don't see that being a healthy relationship at all.
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Re: Need help please

Unread postby Panka » 6 February 2020, 15:13

Eryx wrote:He's a pastor, so it makes sense that he'd be careful about his Grindr account. He probably only installed it because he was in a different country where people from his home city wouldn't be able to track him down. I wouldn't worry too much about him being insincere, since he's opened up to you about everything (including being a pastor), the part I'd actually be bothered about is the fact that he is a pastor lol.

I don't see that being a healthy relationship at all.


I dont mind that at all and we dont have a relationship we are friends
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PostThis post was deleted by mxguy01 on 6 February 2020, 15:27.
Reason: accidental post

Re: Need help please

Unread postby Safigooner » 6 February 2020, 16:54

u guys live thousands of miles apart, I don't see any future in this.
My take on this would be to just be friends, how long u known this guy for ? have u ever video chatted with him ?
I wouldn't meet him cos I simply don't see anything coming out of it but u could give it a shot.
tbh the whole pastor thing kinda freaked me out too lol, it's just....... weird.
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Re: Need help please

Unread postby Jzone » 6 February 2020, 23:01

Welcome Panka-

Panka wrote:should i be cautious because he can trick me easily?)
Yes, you should always be at least a little cautious getting together with anyone you meet online.
Should i be scared?
Feel whatever you feel and deal with it. It can be hard to know the difference between scared and excited.
Should i tell him to cancel?
If you are too scared, yes. If I was in your place, I would probably meet with him.
Should i trust him?
Trust him only as far as you are comfortable. He is a pastor looking to hook up with younger guys when he is traveling, so he is at least being dishonest with himself and the people of his church.
Should we meet but be careful?
You can meet with no plans to take things further. If you like each other and want to do more, you can decide that then.
What should i do?
Only you can answer that. What do you want from him? A long relationship? (Not likely.) A friend with benefits? A series of hook-ups once or twice a year when he visits Greece? Be realistic about what might develop between you.
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Re: Need help please

Unread postby Panka » 7 February 2020, 07:58

Safigooner wrote:u guys live thousands of miles apart, I don't see any future in this.
My take on this would be to just be friends, how long u known this guy for ? have u ever video chatted with him ?
I wouldn't meet him cos I simply don't see anything coming out of it but u could give it a shot.
tbh the whole pastor thing kinda freaked me out too lol, it's just....... weird.


Yes we are friends we ve been talking and video calling each other a while now.I wanna meet him we have things in common we enjoy talking to each other.I dont freak out about the whole pastor thing tbh cuz i dont believe in god and i think being gay and being pastor at the same time isnt bad if you think about it.Maybe its against it but he would probably think about it like this way he is close to god and protect him.
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Re: Need help please

Unread postby Panka » 7 February 2020, 08:02

What should i do?
Only you can answer that. What do you want from him? A long relationship? (Not likely.) A friend with benefits? A series of hook-ups once or twice a year when he visits Greece? Be realistic about what might develop between you.[/quote]

We said friends he is a guy like that he loves traveling and he likes making friends i dont mind having sex with him even tho we said we wont and he doesnt like sex only cuddling.
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