Need help! Relationship advice please...

Ask questions and discuss your relationships with partners or parents, family or friends.

Need help! Relationship advice please...

Unread postby Thomas979 » 22 June 2020, 13:54

Hey people,

So this is the situation: me and my bf started dating about 6 months ago in the beginning we where doing great which is normal I mean the fun part of any relationship is getting to know each other better. Unfortunately the virus made our relationship change over night... I got infected which meant that we weren't able to hang out for a while, now fully recovered for about 3 months and back to work (I'm a veterinary technician) he is still stuck at home since his college hasn't opened up yet, he still lives at home (22) and his mother has some health issues because of this they decided to wait out the pandemic indoors, I really felt like we were going somewhere so we kept talking over Skype every chance we have (4 /6 hours a day). 2 weeks ago he accidentally told me that I was just a rebound when we started talking.. That's not really a problem for me, but since then he has started to act weird and controlling, late night calls to check if I'm alone.. Hours that he just ghost me.. Acting clingy, over reaching about every thing and threatening to kill himself if we ever break up.

Normally I would just ripp of the band Aid and tell him that this is over because we are clearly not working out.. But because of the whole situation, suicide, mental health things, family issues I feel like I could actually harm him by telling him that it is over.

I feel so trapped in the relationship and I still love him as a person..but I'm just not in love with him anymore, I really don't know what to do.. Please help
Posts: 1
Joined: 22 June 2020, 13:24
Country: Netherlands (nl)

Re: Need help! Relationship advice please...

Unread postby Eryx » 22 June 2020, 14:16

9 times out of 10, the whole "I'll kill myself if it ends" routine is just manipulation and nothing will come out of it. He probably knows his mother needs him and he's lonely because he can't get out, but he won't end his life just because you're breaking up with him.

I think you should talk to him about your grievances and tell him that it isn't working with him doing these things. Give him a chance to be better on his own, if you feel like the relationship's still worth it. If you don't, then just end things now. It can only get worse from here.

It feels selfish and it's an awful thing to go through, but you have to think of your own heart and your well-being when it comes to relationships. If it's not something positive in your life anymore, then it shouldn't be happening.

Image Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Posts: 2655
+1s received: 1612
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: Need help! Relationship advice please...

Unread postby Eos » 22 June 2020, 17:31

If he is already manipulative right now with this kind of ultimatum I would not hesitate to break up with him, even if it will hurt both me and the other person.
Every one can ask for help, but asking it this way is just too terrible. Especially since you've met only 6 months ago.
Posts: 151
+1s received: 62
Joined: 2 April 2019, 07:30
Country: France (fr)

Recently active
Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot], doeshelikeme, Mojeek [Bot], Ocguy, Trendiction [Bot] and 44 guests