Need some advice concerning my crush

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Need some advice concerning my crush

Unread postby Chris94 » 2 January 2019, 04:58

So me and the guy met on a discord server, at the time i was trying to clear my head because i was trying to fix a relationship with someone who was emotionally broken and he at the time wasnt necessarily looking for a relationship.

We started talking and we started liking each other a lot and while we were using petnames and such, its only around 4 months after that he initially confessed his love to me and a month after i felt confident enough to tell him that i love him as well.

Recently he told me that we should slow down a bit as he wanted to get to know me better (he had some bad experiences in the past with exes) and I was like, fair enough. we are currently in LDR so its a notch harder but Im confident that him and I can figure out for later especially since he can visit at me some point, which is a good start.

We still like each other a lot and compliment each other, literally we spend hours talking about pretty much anything, also sexual stuff and while he doesnt wanna rush ahead and say that he loves me, i can easily tell that he has a lot inside his heart for me.

My question is: how to make myself stop worrying so much about him not feeling for me the same way when he still very much considers me as potential boyfriend material? and when you are taking slow with a guy, should you wait till hes the one saying the 3 word or the other way round?
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Re: Need some advice concerning my crush

Unread postby Aunty Eva » 5 January 2019, 14:57

Firstly, it sounds like he is insecure and wants to make sure he isn't going to make a mistake and end up hurting not only you but himself again too. I think taking it slow is probably the best way to move forward. Just stay in touch and be respectful. Let him know that you care for him a lot and that you don't plan on hurting him but will wait until he is ready to make the commitment.

As for your part, why worry. You have said yourself that you are happy, he is showing your love without saying it and you know he cares. If I was you, I would look at this as a chance to get to know him inside and out before being fully committed. Learn about each other's likes and dislikes. I was told a while ago some advice by my late Nan which I never forgot. "Don't worry about things that might not happen and that you cannot change, if you have to worry, worry about what has happened and that you can control."

You cannot control his emotions, you cannot control his thoughts or feelings. Your feelings cannot change his. He hasn't told you he doesn't want you, he said he wants to take it slow. So don't worry that he doesn't want you. If you are worried about the distance, this is easily resolved with a bit of work. Save some cash and book some time in his hometown. Obviously, let him know first.
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