No one in the family wants to talk about the hard stuff...

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No one in the family wants to talk about the hard stuff...

Unread postby erti » 2 August 2020, 04:05

How do I bring up hard topics to family they shut me down and say “Lets not talk about this” or “why the fuck you keep asking about him.” I need family in real life willing to listen to me. I don’t want to get into grave detail but I think I would have more closure talking to my mom and other members of the family when they were around at that time. There might be a chance I’ll never get to talk about stuff with my mom and I got to respect that she may never be willing to talk about it. The let it go doesn’t help ease my mind. I’m told to let go. I try... it’s hard.
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Re: No one in the family wants to talk about the hard stuff...

Unread postby Eos » 2 August 2020, 06:42

I am very sorry for you. I've got one family member that allow me to speak easily about hard stuff. You feel much less alone, doesn't matter if we can't find a solution.

But some families will not want to help you. It is a shame but I think you should find help elsewhere. Here is already a place. You can try with therapist as well (do not hesitate to change if you don't feel a link between him and you).

I don't think you can change your family to help you.
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Re: No one in the family wants to talk about the hard stuff...

Unread postby erti » 2 August 2020, 15:24

Eos wrote:I am very sorry for you. I've got one family member that allow me to speak easily about hard stuff. You feel much less alone, doesn't matter if we can't find a solution.

But some families will not want to help you. It is a shame but I think you should find help elsewhere. Here is already a place. You can try with therapist as well (do not hesitate to change if you don't feel a link between him and you).

I don't think you can change your family to help you.


Yeah. I guess I just hope someday I find closure... and I’ve never been able to speak it with therapist. I’m usually vague with people in some this stuff.
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Re: No one in the family wants to talk about the hard stuff...

Unread postby Eos » 2 August 2020, 18:31

I've been with many therapists in my life, and in the end it wasn't a professional that helped me, just a lady in an association (that help people that are addict to anything, and I wasn't even addicted to anything). She was very nice, supportive, helped me seeing things differently. I guess one of my issue with those professional is that I kinda expected them to help me. But all they can give is perspective, and sometimes advices.
You need to find someone you're really confortable with.
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Re: No one in the family wants to talk about the hard stuff...

Unread postby erti » 2 August 2020, 18:37

Eos wrote:I've been with many therapists in my life, and in the end it wasn't a professional that helped me, just a lady in an association (that help people that are addict to anything, and I wasn't even addicted to anything). She was very nice, supportive, helped me seeing things differently. I guess one of my issue with those professional is that I kinda expected them to help me. But all they can give is perspective, and sometimes advices.
You need to find someone you're really confortable with.


It’s hard trust a therapist when I can’t even trust myself.
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