One sided.. love/crush?

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One sided.. love/crush?

Unread postby Mrbrown » 30 July 2020, 08:31

I will just write down straight from my heart without filtering it. I am writing from a place where religion is highly regarded so leave alone coming out, any one knowing the reality can lead to death sentence.. So..

I am Surgeon in my 30s, single. And i keep a VERY strict professional boundary at work.

I was not expecting this at ALL and was very surprised when i could not get this particular patient out of my head.
This normally never happens.
His simplicity captured my heart! He is treated and is not a patient anymore.

I think its part of my personality that when i see a patient, i do not see him as a bag of symptoms coming to pay for treatment !
I visualize that this is my family member so i will give my 200%. Yes it leaves me exausted but i enjoy helping others.

This patient spent 1.5 hours in my office just telling me about his issues. I was embarrased because he was not getting up and each patient gets 20 mins only. Since there was no patient outside i kept smiling and hinting to him that it is a bit late now.

2 days later he brought his mother for treatment too which i gladly did and her mother said 'Son, we are a poor family and we cant afford consultations fee, can I have your number so we can just call and ask you for small questions if we have'
I gladly did. My phone book is full of old grandmothers and grandfathers who chat with me and ask medical questions.

Now the guy communicates with me every day on behalf of his mother and he wants to strike friendship and says very kind words
He is a straight man, married with kids. And some how ! surprisingly i cant take him out of my mind.
He is fitness instructor, cute as hell but it was his honesty and simplicity that caught me.

Its becoming painful.
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Re: One sided.. love/crush?

Unread postby Eryx » 30 July 2020, 14:45

I'm sorry. It's always hard to fall for straight guys. I'd try to distract myself from it, though. Doesn't seem like it will get anywhere.
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Re: One sided.. love/crush?

Unread postby Jasper1 » 30 July 2020, 16:04

I’d be surprised if someone didn’t have a story about having a crush on someone where the feeling wasn’t mutual. I could tell you a few stories of my own :D

Best to move on. Burying my head in work has always worked for me. It hurts for a little while and then overtime you look back and wonder why you made such a big deal over it.
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Re: One sided.. love/crush?

Unread postby Frigid » 30 July 2020, 16:16

As a professional with a regulatory body you have an ethical duty to re establish the boundary of doctor patient and not befriend him which it seems like you’re falling into the trap of doing. It’s one thing to be attracted to your patient, it’s another to let it influence how you treat them.
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Re: One sided.. love/crush?

Unread postby Mrbrown » 30 July 2020, 18:27

Thanks everyone for the reply.
And yes, agreed. It is best for me to let it go and move on.
I am a very professional person who does not cross boundaries with patient. But the place I come from, population is poor and do not have insurance. I have a very soft spot for elderly so I do not mind if they want to consult me on phone after hours - many patients do.
He is clearly initiating conversation every day as an excuse because the questions do not seem urgent.

Anyways, I have to do what needs to be done but first time to experience this.
Never knew someones simple nature and politeness could capture hearts..
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