One sided love.

Ask questions and discuss your relationships with partners or parents, family or friends.

One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 2 July 2019, 14:00

Hey all.. I am from india age 30.gay single as i can say now.. I am going through a pretty tragic heartbreak. I met him last month via grindr. He is smart stunning so at first i thought after seeing me he might reject me as i dont have much attractive features. Avarage looking avarage build guy i am. But he continued our conversation. Then one day he called me at his place to meet him. Like a date. He lived bit far but i visited him though i was hesitant at first. But finally i met him he brought me at his place.. He was so caring offered me breakfast as i haven't had breakfast but couldn't tell him as i am bit shy in nature. But he sensed it and gave me breakfast. Even at one time he feed me by his own hand.i felt so good that i never have felt. Then we talked a few hours more. He is super handsome marvelous. But suddenly he jumped on me and initiate the sex. Took my virginity. It was amazing. He said he wants me. I came back frm there that day but he still keep messeging me. I couldn't spend the night there because he had to go somewhere else for his official work. From that everyday he used to call me after office for a chat. Then two weeks earlier from now he had his birthday. So i bought a gift for him. And met him. That everything was as usually smooth between us. Normal conversation then sex. Everything happened. Outing in his bike.. He let me hold him tightly while riding the bike. I felt so good that day.. Then we spend night togather. Next day he almost bring back to my place.. And went back. And also promised me to seeing me everyweek. I was very happy to hear that. Everything was fine untill the last wednesday.. Since last wednesday he stopped calling me. Stopped replying me. If i consistently messege him he will reply only one or two. He doesn't even want to talk with me. If i request only then he picks up or talk. But only for 5-10 mins. While we were in constant chat he showed a love sign after our furst encounter. But now nothing.. Doesn't even care to reply. I am very very heartbroken now.. I can't forget him. Crying all the time whenever i get some space. I just want to know what happened that changed everything. I am feeling frustrated now.. What should i do.. Can't even sleep properly or eat or drink.. Feeling like my life ended. I have deleted all the dating apps after meeting him.. Now even if i need to reinstall it again.. But my mind is not allowing me. I just cry for him. All the time. What should i do... Please help me to get out of this pain..
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Eryx » 2 July 2019, 15:01

All you can do now is give it time. Even if he tells you exactly why he grew more distant, that closure is probably not going to help with the pain you're feeling all that much. The only way out of a heartbreak is for it to fall into the past.
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 2095
+1s received: 1035
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 3 July 2019, 16:34

Thanks eryx. For your suggestion. But its very very painful for me to thinking about forgetting him.. Forgetting the time we spent together. I never had this feeling before. I met guys before but they never invited me to their places or met me after our first meet. I am not open to my family.. So i can't share this to my family. All the time from waking up to going to bed only his name comes in my mind. I see his face all the time. I pray to god to bring him back to my life again.its becoming unbearable for me. I can not even think about moving on. I am so frustrated. Don't know what made him upset about me that he stopped replying. I can't change my looks because its inborn. If i go for surgery then its very very unaffordable for me. Sometimes i cry in my office bathroom thinking about him. Just a month and it seemed over. Can't even think about dating again.. I am one man's man.. Do not like promiscuos nature. Don't know how will this deep wound heal. Just can not accept that fact that we are not togather anymore
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby erti » 3 July 2019, 16:55

I've dated a guy from when I was 18 up until I was almost 24 years old. It' s hard. I'm 29 years old now. We hardly talk anymore. I slowly got over it. We were going to marry. We were possibly going to have kids. I thought I we were in love but he broke up with me at an anime convention out of anxiety. Surely if he cared about how I felt he'd do it at a better time and place. Then we continued to have a sexual relationship. I fooled myself into thinking if I had sex with him enough he'd want to get back with me. Boy was I wrong. I felt crushed when he started looking for other women. Then he got together with his current girlfriend. I cried... but I got over it. It's apart of life... your heart is going to be broken so many times in your life until you find someone who you can share your life with and be true together. Sometimes people will never find that someone but you have to accept that as a possibility. You gotta love yourself first. It's going to hurt, possibly for a while but you can't dwell on it for too long. It took a long time for me to accept it.. Now that I accept it, it's a lot easier talking to him. It's a lot easier to accept his girlfriend and their relationship. We're still friends but sometimes people find it easier to cut off contact in order to heal. You may need to do that for a while.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 580
+1s received: 448
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Eryx » 3 July 2019, 17:55

What you're feeling is something almost everyone on this planet has had to deal with at least once. I've had my heart broken more than a couple of times, most people have. If you put yourself out there to date guys, this is bound to happen. So you need to be strong and understand that these feelings will pass. He's not going to be the only man for you, and if he was the right man for you, he'd still be with you.

I know it seems impossible to forget him now and get through this, but it is possible and you can get through it. In not too long, this will be nothing but a lesson.
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 2095
+1s received: 1035
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 4 July 2019, 16:32

Thank you both of you.. You are much experienced in this case. For me it was the first time. Felt like i can hold him for the rest of my life. But right now i can't go back to the dating scene. I am tormented. Totally confused heartbroken. Feeling like missing something in my soul. Loving someone desparately and not getting love in return is the most terrible thing in this world i can feel now. What happened to those promises he made me. I don't know if i would get ever anybody who will love me the way i will love him. When i see my friends who got lovers, spending time togather.. Share pics over facebook..i feel very very lonely.. Even when i walk on the road.. I feel if there could be someone like him who can walk beside me. But no i am as lonely as a desert..
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby erti » 4 July 2019, 16:44

I can understand having friend who are in relationships and you're not. It's hard seeing them seemingly happy and have their shit together. I had a crush on this guy and actually have had sex with him but he didn't share the same feelings as I did. Now he's with someone he likes and it got me thinking, "what's wrong with me?" but there's nothing wrong with me. He was just not the one. Don't let it ruin your self confidence. You'll get to a place where you can find someone else. Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday. You'll be alright :)
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 580
+1s received: 448
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Eryx » 4 July 2019, 21:41

Lonely2989 wrote:I don't know if i would get ever anybody who will love me the way i will love him.
You will, trust me.
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 2095
+1s received: 1035
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 6 July 2019, 07:12

Thank you very much for your kind support my friends. I feel very lonely here where i live.for my job. Far away from my home. He came in my life like fresh air. And made me float like the falling leaves. Never felt so happy till now.. But didn't last. But getting hope from you guys. Thank you again. This path of my life is lonely. Might get a hand of someone to walk tagather in future i hope. Thank you so much.. ❤️❤️
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Eryx » 8 July 2019, 05:05

Stick around, and we'll be always happy to talk to you!
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 2095
+1s received: 1035
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby poolerboy0077 » 8 July 2019, 05:48

One-sided love. Hmm. That basically describes all my interactions with the twinks on these forums.
Blow: "Nowadays even Liam can release an album of his screechy vocals and it'll probably go #1..."
Ramzus: I can admit that I'm horny just about 24/7
homomorphism: I used to not think your name was deshay and that Erick was just being racist
Hunter: sometimes I think I was literally born to be a pornstar
User avatar
poolerboy0077
 
Posts: 8027
+1s received: 1733
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:20
Country: United States (us)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Jryski » 9 July 2019, 02:26

poolerboy0077 wrote:One-sided love. Hmm. That basically describes all my interactions with the twinks on these forums.

Awwww :( *hugs*
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 507
+1s received: 271
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Jryski » 9 July 2019, 02:31

Lonely2989 wrote:Thank you very much for your kind support my friends. I feel very lonely here where i live.for my job. Far away from my home. He came in my life like fresh air. And made me float like the falling leaves. Never felt so happy till now.. But didn't last. But getting hope from you guys. Thank you again. This path of my life is lonely. Might get a hand of someone to walk tagather in future i hope. Thank you so much.. ❤️❤️

I think what you're describing happens to everyone lots of times over and over again. Pretty much the same thing happened to me with the guy I lost my virginity to. I quickly realized that I was being naive for liking someone so much just because they found me slightly attractive. *hugs* feel better dude. Don't let boys hurt your feelings. But if they do end up hurting your feelings, just remember that boys have this thing called a bulge. Punch it!
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 507
+1s received: 271
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 10 July 2019, 03:02

Thank you all of you for your kind replies. I am pretty much distorted mentally by that unexpected breakup. Now i really fear to date again. Because coping with this situation is unbearable. Can't forget him. I am missing him a lot.. Don't know how long this problem will stay
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 19 August 2019, 08:02

Now these days i am feeling terrible. I tried to get back to my one sided love.but it seemed over to him. Three weeks back he called me to meet him for shopping. Though i live far i travelled where he called me to meet. He came with a guy. Better looking than me. He introduced him as a just friend to me.. Later i called him in a cornar and asked about him. He said that guy is his neighbor and straight. He even held my hand and said we are good togather. I ask if i can still go to his place.. He get instantly agreed to take me there with him. But he came by bike so we couldn't adjust so i did shopping with him and let him go with his friend and told him that i will visit him on 4th august. He said totally fine. I felt bit relieved that time i came back home.. Called him if he had reached home safely.. He answered politely. Then we had normal conversation. Since that day till 4 th august everyday we were having nice conversations. Calls messeges everyday.. But on 3rd aug he called me told me he is very ill.. I felt i can't sleep at my room thinking about him all night so after office i reached to his place with very difficulty. I saw he seemed not that bad. But bit weak. We cooked togather. He talked so nicely. I slept in his arms holding him that night he didn't mind. Next morning we go for a walk togather he was fine too.. Chearful as usually. Told me he is feeling good. I felt happy too. I bought a gift for him that night completely unknowingly that that next day is friendship day.. He got really happy seeing the gift. That made me happy too. After coming back to his room he got to know that its frienship day.. Then he started acting weird. He started calling everybody.first it was i think people greet him so he is doing the same but then i saw he is not even talking to me. When ever he disconnected a call ringing another.. When ever i try to talk to him he started ignoring me. Even strated beheaving rude to me. Like why are you sitting go and wash the dishes. On road he said how are you walking.. You are walking like a stupid. Then he never complained if i held him tight while sitting on his bike. That day he said.. Is it a proper way of sitting in a bike.. Very roughly. I removed my hands and felt very sad. All the day he didn't remove his tshirt infront of me..but suddenly a call came via fb massenger.. He was so happy getting that call he talked to him for almost an hour. He bever ever talked to me that long.. Suddenly he moved to another room. I saw he removed his shirt completely and started sex chatting with that guy.. I felt so heart broken.. And he saw me and got angry and stopped. I couldn't go back to my place because i had option that time as the last bus left. Then the whole evening he just talked and talked.. In middle he insulted me a bit. At night i felt he is fine so tried to get close to him.. To make love.he said he is tired he is not getting any mood.. I asked him why then he was sex chatting with him. He denied.. He said we are friends now so we are just friend nothing else. I felt ashamed. He said what expect is can not be given to me. I felt like crying.. What happeben i didn't understand till now. Then i asked him if i am his friend then why did he not wish me on my birthday. He said i should have told him before. Where in facebook he greet everybody happy birthday i saw it before..then i felt so sad and removed my hands from his body and turned my face to the other side of bed. He might felt bad trying to touch me. But i didn't respond. Even didn't go inside his blanket. At early morning around 4 i left. He was insistting to stay bit more. But couldn't. Thats the last time i touch his shoulder and tell him bye. Since then our connection got disrupted. I feel very sad these days remembering him.. I don't know what to do i feel very lonely.. He doesn't even reply my morning messeges. I could not move on.. I feel like dying inside in despire. What should i do. Please suggest
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby rxxli » 19 August 2019, 14:44

I’ve had a pretty similar experience last year. Met a guy, everything seemed awesome until he basically said that he is not interested and that was it.

The first two weeks were horrible. I didn’t have any appetite, couldn’t really motivate myself to do anything, all I wanted was sleep.

After that things slowly improved. First of all I suggest that you stop talking to this guy. After that I suggest that you try doing things that you like. If you have friends try talking to them (go to the cinema with them or something). Basically keep yourself busy so you don’t think about this guy too much. After that, when you start feeling better slowly get back into dating
Image
User avatar
rxxli
 
Posts: 4327
+1s received: 271
Joined: 21 December 2012, 21:33
Country: Slovenia (si)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 20 August 2019, 15:45

It feels so bad that sometimes i feel i can not breathe. Everyday somehow i feel i need him really need him. I feel i can not live without him. If he rejects me..basically i know for my looks.. Everybody will reject me. I feel terrible sometimes that i curse myself to die.he took every happiness from me. I wish if i could look better and have a better physiq i might get his attention. I pity myself for being ugly. First time in my life something happened that gave me enormous happiness. But it was just too soon to call it over. I have started working out on my body.. I don't have any gym nearby so i bought dumbles to do it myself. This way i try to keep myself busy. But still those feelings always come in my mind.. I started crying thinking about those promises we made to each other. The love we shared togather. Me too lose appetite since that day. Sometimes i cry at my work place in a corner. It was just too soon.. I can't tolerate this.. There were many more plans we had togather.. Now suddenly it's over. I fear dating anybody now. Because if i get this heart break again then i might be totally diminished to the ground. Might end my life. I am very very disappointed now
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby mxguy01 » 20 August 2019, 16:27

One month and a week or so and you're ready to commit suicide. So one of two responses:

a) your on here just "bait posting"
b) you're serious and you need to get consoling right now.
---
I love to travel but hate to arrive -- Albert Einstein
---
The only thing worse than an Did Not Finish (DNF) is an Did Not Start (DNS). ~~ Me
---
It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. ~~ Chinese fortune cookie
User avatar
mxguy01
 
Posts: 4350
+1s received: 2084
Joined: 23 October 2017, 23:12
Location: NorCal
Country: United States (us)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby Lonely2989 » 21 August 2019, 02:43

I can understand how people see this ridiculously funny. But seriously not bait posting anything. Because when you give some one all your attention and you are also receiving too.. And suddenly everything just fall apart without even a hint i think this is what heart break is. I am very serious from the beginning. I have none to tell about my trauma. Living in a conservative family living in a conservative country with this sexuality is very difficult. Most of my good friends are straight so i can't discuss this with them. Same with my family too.. Thats why i asked here. Whether its a year long or a week long,love is love. I tried my best to get him.. And all of a sudden i lost him. This thing breaks my heart. Moving on seems very difficult. I am realky sorry if i have offended anybody asking suggestion
Lonely2989
 
Posts: 8
+1s received: 2
Joined: 2 July 2019, 13:30
Location: India
Country: India (in)

Re: One sided love.

Unread postby mxguy01 » 21 August 2019, 16:33

Lonely2989 wrote:I can understand how people see this ridiculously funny. But seriously not bait posting anything. Because when you give some one all your attention and you are also receiving too.. And suddenly everything just fall apart without even a hint i think this is what heart break is. I am very serious from the beginning. I have none to tell about my trauma. Living in a conservative family living in a conservative country with this sexuality is very difficult. Most of my good friends are straight so i can't discuss this with them. Same with my family too.. Thats why i asked here. Whether its a year long or a week long,love is love. I tried my best to get him.. And all of a sudden i lost him. This thing breaks my heart. Moving on seems very difficult. I am realky sorry if i have offended anybody asking suggestion


I don't see it as funny at all in either case. But let's dismiss case "a".

Sorry but that is not love, it's infatuation when it's that short of a time period and such limited exposure to the other person. And you are stating that you're thinking of suicide over it. So again I'd state that you really need to seek counseling if your obsession over it is driving you to that point. Especially in the case of having no one else to discuss it with as you describe. A good first step would be to recognize the problem for what it is!
---
I love to travel but hate to arrive -- Albert Einstein
---
The only thing worse than an Did Not Finish (DNF) is an Did Not Start (DNS). ~~ Me
---
It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. ~~ Chinese fortune cookie
User avatar
mxguy01
 
Posts: 4350
+1s received: 2084
Joined: 23 October 2017, 23:12
Location: NorCal
Country: United States (us)

Next

Recently active
Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot], Mr. Fox, Seznam [Bot], Trendiction [Bot] and 11 guests