Partner is prostituting HELP

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Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby prplcncrd83 » 28 January 2020, 20:27

I have recently discovered my partner of five years is prostituting to make money. He's a recovering addict and not using the money for drugs, he's stated he wants to make his own money so he doesn't have to ask me and he's been out of work for three years unable to find a job. I feel absolutely up in arms about this, he tells me it's none of my business how he gets money or what he does with his body. I love him still and I'm not sure I want to throw in the towel. What can I possibly say to convince him to stop this risky behavior?
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Re: Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby René » 28 January 2020, 20:44

First thought: It's all of your business when he can catch and give you an STD. (I don't know if he uses condoms, but plenty of STDs don't care about those.) And traditionally, when you're in a relationship with someone, that absolutely makes it their business what you do with your body.

Second thought: He is a remorseless cheater. I can't imagine staying with someone in the situation you've described. It would be different if he didn't give you the attitude that he did when confronted about it, but his response makes me feel like there's no hope here. It also makes me kind of question his supposed recovery from addiction. Obviously I don't have enough information to go on, but it seems iffy. People who are not taking drugs and are in an okay/recovering state psychologically usually don't talk to the person who's supposed to be their lover in that way.
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Re: Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby mxguy01 » 28 January 2020, 20:49

You can still love him and choose not to be with him. In order to help him, you must first look out for yourself. I suggest starting there.
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Re: Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby kenzie_matt » 29 January 2020, 07:16

I'm with René on this one. It's totally your business. There's no conceivable way I would be able to stay with someone who did that.
I get the motives he gave in terms of needing money etc., but to do something as risky as prostitution, especially without consulting his long-term partner?

You need to be very careful here. You are at extreme risk health-wise. I don't mean to downplay the emotional pain that this is currently causing you and will cause should you continue to end things, but you really need to ask yourself if this is worth that risk? In addition, are you comfortable with random strangers enjoying your partner's body - a very intimate thing that should be reserved for you?
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Re: Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 29 January 2020, 10:09

He can't find a job in 3 YEARS?
What the hell is wrong with him?
Surely in 3 years of filling out applications he would have gotten at least one call back from a normal job.

For him to tell you its no of your business is ridiculous. You've been together for 5 years. Of course it's your business who he is sleeping with.

You should tell him to either quit and respect you as his partner. Or get the hell out of there as fast as you can. Personally as soon as he said its not my business i would've been out of there. But love can make people do some dumb things.

Good luck man
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Re: Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby mxguy01 » 29 January 2020, 14:51

What the hell is wrong with him

Ah, but that's the point is it not. I had a brother who eventually ended up committing suicide. A pretty strange dude in quite a few ways. I don't believe I ever really knew him nor figured out what exactly difficulties he struggled with. He was also a run-away since an early teen and that actually continued his entire life. At times he would simply disappear. In some cases it was years before my parents heard from him. I remember one time the got a collect call. He was not but a few 10's of miles away and he was asking for a ride home. Maybe he was just checking to see if he was still welcome. That time he had hitch-hiked to Alaska and back.

I don't want to think of the things he did to survive that way. His/our parents should have seen some things that would have warranted at least some investigation into his mental health. I don't believe that ever happened, at least not to the extent it would have been appropriate.

There was so much bad blood between us. Growing up it was basically him, my drug addict brother and me growing up in the house with my parents. When my mom finally passed which likewise ended having to see the toll it took on her, I finally was able to put that "bad blood" behind me and look at things

a bit more objectively.

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Re: Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby Penislover1977 » 19 February 2020, 15:15

That's cheating why would you allow this. I was married to a woman she cheated she left, well I kicked her out I considered myself bi to that point now I'm total gay.
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Re: Partner is prostituting HELP

Unread postby Jryski » Yesterday, 14:10

Personally I would never resort to prostitution to make money. I wouldn’t date anyone that’s a prostitute either. They’re just not the type of people I want to associate with, risks of stds from the risky sexual acts with strangers aside. Wanting to make your own money and not rely on people is something I’ve always encouraged but there are other more positively reputable ways to make money. There are always places hiring and although they don’t pay as much, it shows me and possibly many others that you value your dignity. That’s just me though. Not everyone’s the same and as long as it’s what makes them happy, it doesn’t matter what I think. It’s still too risky and that’s not a matter of opinion so I’m just going to put that out there.
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