Partner Joining The Army [Question]

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Partner Joining The Army [Question]

Unread postby DannyBoy99 » 24 January 2019, 09:01

Hi,

So basically i have been seeing this lad for a few months now and we got together properly last week. However, he's just got his acceptance from the army which he's being waiting for 3 years for and now he is super excited.

I know i should be happy for him which i am. However i just dont know how to approach the question of where our relationship is going to go.

Is it selfish of me to just be thinking about us?
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Re: Partner Joining The Army [Question]

Unread postby Brasileiro » 24 January 2019, 11:09

Plenty of couples with one partner in the army. It just means you have a long distance relation for a while.

If you have questions about it, it is not selfish, it is just matter of fact, it concerns both of you. Just literally ask him what his acceptance will mean for the relationship. (NOT what it would do for you, do not go on a victim trail. Keep the relationship as a subject)
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Re: Partner Joining The Army [Question]

Unread postby DannyBoy99 » 24 January 2019, 11:30

Yeah obviously i want to ask him about it but he is the sort of person who will automatically feel bad and feel like somehow it's his fault. If you know what i mean?

And as much as i would love him to decide against going to join the army, it's his dream and i would step infront of that. So i just dont know how to approach the question ?
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Re: Partner Joining The Army [Question]

Unread postby PopTart » 24 January 2019, 11:55

Ask him how he sees your relationship playing out once he joins up. If you frame it right, you can avoid him feeling guilty.

If your definately okay with him joining and facing the challenges that comes with, let him know tats how you feel.

You should be able to express sadness, without it coming across like you want him to make a choice, if you give him plenty of reassurance to that fact.

Are there options for you being close to his posting, if in the UK?
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Re: Partner Joining The Army [Question]

Unread postby DannyBoy99 » 24 January 2019, 12:01

Yeah, i've just being putting off asking him because obviously we are both in a really good place right now and i don't want him to feel like i don't support him cos obviously i do. Guess it comes down to me being able to reassure him i'm okay with it.

And as for moving to be close, i have just started my second year of university so it isn't really a choice for me.

I have none stop being thinking about leaving uni and just going into full time work to be close to him, but obviously it would be a big commitment to leave uni so i've been 50/50 on it.
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Re: Partner Joining The Army [Question]

Unread postby DannyBoy99 » 24 January 2019, 12:01

Yeah, i've just being putting off asking him because obviously we are both in a really good place right now and i don't want him to feel like i don't support him cos obviously i do. Guess it comes down to me being able to reassure him i'm okay with it.

And as for moving to be close, i have just started my second year of university so it isn't really a pracitcal choice for me.

I have none stop being thinking about leaving uni and just going into full time work to be close to him, but obviously it would be a big commitment to leave uni so i've been 50/50 on it.
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