People Suck!

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People Suck!

Unread postby erti » 5 May 2019, 09:38

So, my moms best friend Angel is trying to hook me up with this guy name Lee. Lee and I are complete opposites when it comes to politics, interest, and hobbies. We have nothing in common but I'm trying to give him a chance. Our conversations are mundane and awkward at best. He has a hard time with reading and spelling so when we text he's always asking, "what do you mean?". When we talk over the phone there is constant silence and it's hard for me to gather my thoughts over the phone talking. I have to repeat myself over and over. I told him i cannot drink because of my medication yet he keeps on insisting that I drink with him some day. He told me he broke up with his girlfriend because she was talking to some other guy. I asked him if he's a jealous person. He then asked, "what do you mean?". I told him, "would you get jealous if i had male friends". He said no but i don't honestly believe him. I'm already saying "hell nah" to this dude... I'm about ready to pull the "I'm not ready for a relationship" card. My gut feeling tells me to run.

He came over tonight at my house and we sat outside silently on our phones and not saying anything to each other for a half hour or so. Then he proceeds to tell me that Angel, my moms best friend, told him all about me. I asked him what she say about me. He tells me she said that I've tried to kill myself and I don't think I'm pretty. What the fuck man. That's not something i want a potential mate to know right off the bat. I'd like to get to know him first. I honestly do not know what to think about what Angel told Lee. I'm not sure if I'm embarrassed or furious at Angel for telling him that. I know if i say something to my mom about it she's just going to say, "well it's true right?". I'm pissed right now... what the actual fuck man.
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Re: People Suck!

Unread postby Brenden » 5 May 2019, 11:43

1) Wow, he sounds really thick.

2) Wow, your mom's friend is a bitch.

3) :hug:
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Re: People Suck!

Unread postby Marmaduke » 5 May 2019, 16:52

He sounds awful. That you’re still seemingly conflicted about telling him to fuck all the way off is baffling to me.

Were I in you position, I’d just tell him that after hanging out with him for a while, I just didn’t feel that way about him. I’d be avoiding ambiguity at all costs. It’s not that you’re not ready for a relationship, it’s that you don’t want one with him. You don’t owe him lies to spare his feelings. You, and seemingly every other woman with a pulse, deserve better than he is apparently able to offer.

Once he knows where he stands, just outright call Angel a cunt and tell her to mind her own business and not pass off any more oxygen thieves she comes across onto you.
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Re: People Suck!

Unread postby erti » 5 May 2019, 19:07

I guess the reason I've not told him to fuck off is not because i want to spare him his feelings but i like to avoid conflict between my mom and Angel. Angel married his former stepdad a couple of years ago and he sees her as an aunt/mother figure. I grew up around Angel and her kids and see her a little bit of an aunt figure and her kids as one a god sister and the other 3 as cousins. I like to avoid arguments between my mom and her. Angel and my mom work at the same store in retail and you know how word gets around at jobs like that. My mom insist that i talk to him and get to know him better. Angel is an alcoholic and at her wedding kissed me on the lips in a seductive way while she was shitfaced so i don't completely trust her choice in men or her life choices in general so i was already saying "nope" to this dude.
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Re: People Suck!

Unread postby Marmaduke » 5 May 2019, 19:19

On the Venn diagram of avoiding arguments between your mother and her alcoholic friend and avoiding wasting more of your time with dreadful waste-of-space plebs, I feel like you have plenty of room in that area of intersection to say “I am a adult, and I have a degree of self-respect, so thank you for your efforts in finding me a husband but I would prefer someone with a more than rudimentary literacy level and I’m damn certain than I can achieve that myself”

You sound a lot like someone that uses “I don’t want to cause an argument” as a rationalisation for surrendering control of your own life out of fear. You shouldn’t. Put yourself first. Wasting more of your time in the company of someone you quite obviously don’t even like on a platonic level just to avoid your mother’s mad fucking friend being offended is stupid. If it upsets her, fuck her. If she wants him to find someone, she can send him back to community college to get his GED and work from there. It’s not your problem.

You have enough going on in your life right now. Without meaning to be indelicate, you’ve recently spend time as an in-patient of a psychiatric facility. I very much doubt that you’re in a place right now where pursuing fruitless relationships is at the top of either your or your doctors priorities list. You’ve been “seeing” this clown for how long? You need to take a fuckton of time for yourself and that your Mom and her mad friend have decided to seemingly take you from the hospital door immediately into a blind date is shit. Really shit. Shit you shouldn’t be having to deal with.

None of us really want confrontation, not in family situations, but sometimes confrontation is necessary and healthy and shouldn’t be avoided simply for the sake of avoiding it. Don’t sell yourself short out of concern for the emotional welfare of people that clearly aren’t that engaged with yours.
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Re: People Suck!

Unread postby erti » 5 May 2019, 20:32

I guess you're right. I have a tendency to avoid conflict as the cost of my own well being out of fear for other people. He just texted me a few times as i write this. I'm not quite sure what to say to him. I want to say "fuck off" but i also want to say it in the nicest way as possible where he gets the point but doesn't talk to me again.

I was first told about this guy while i was in the hospital. So, a couple weeks ago? My mom told me about it and i said, "I don't think I trust getting with a guy Angel would set me up with" and my mom basically said, "it wouldn't hurt to try, if it doesn't work out you can always be friends." sure i'm down for more friends. But like you said i'm not interested in him even in a platonic level. He keeps asking me what i think about him. I don't lie but i'm not 100% truthful either. I say our conversations have little substance and it's very awkward. We continue to text each other for a half hour and he's like "so what do you think about our conversation now?"... i lied and said it was ok and that's my own fault.
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Re: People Suck!

Unread postby erti » 6 May 2019, 08:20

Me: I'm going to be completely honest... i don't think this is going to work out for us.
Him: what do you mean
Me: I don't think we'd be good for each other in a relationship.
Him: Like why do you say that
Me: We have very little in common. Plus being in a relationship isn't on my list of things i want to do right now.
Him: like we only hang out one time
Me: yes but it's not clicking for me.
Him: Like what did I do wrong
Me: nothing, we are just two completely different people.
Him: -_-;
Me: Sorry :(
Him: now I don't know what to do now
Me: I'm sure you'll find someone, just it's not going to be me.
Him: Like what do you don't like about me tell me
Me: it's nothing personal... I just don't want a relationship right now
Him: so what do you want. For real
Me: <_<
Him: Will you please talk to me on the phone where I can hear your voice very please. I guess I will leave you alone :(. Bye nice talkin to you
---

So i talked to him over the phone... he wouldn't stop asking me what he did wrong. I kept telling him it was nothing personal and that we're two completely different people. kept saying that we only hanged out with each other once. Then dropped the bomb on me with that he's going to be homeless. Like, that sucks but i don't know how that's related to the relationship and my mom simply said, "he's not expecting to move in with us now is he?" After this conversation he took me off his friends list on Facebook. My mom basically said, "good, you can't just meet someone and expecting to be in a relationship."

I feel a little guilty but i also feel a little relieved and pissed off at the same time. I've dodged a bullet?

--Edit--

so i looked at his most recent Facebook post. He basically said he wanted to die and be with his mom and it means he's going to be single for the rest of his life. Sounds over the top for someone i've only met a few days ago and heard about 2 weeks ago.
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PostThis post was deleted by Jryski on 6 May 2019, 15:04.
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Re: People Suck!

Unread postby Jryski » 6 May 2019, 15:04

You dodged a major bullet.
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