Please advise me!

Ask questions and discuss your relationships with partners or parents, family or friends.

Please need some advice!

Unread postby Preet » 18 May 2019, 23:37

Hi I am a guy. I have am in love with another guy, whom I met 5 months ago. He has a gf. I confessed my love for him. He said that I will not regret of being in love with him. He doesn’t wanna make any physical relationship. Still he is okay with my feelings and respect those feelings as per he said. He let me hold his hand and let me kiss him special when I am drunk. We are living at same place but not sharing bed rooms.
I wanna move away but he doesn’t let me move out. I am confused with how this kind of behaviour. I do care for him a lot. I like to cook for him and always let him use my car.
Please suggest me what should I do. It’s killing me inside. As I want to have a physical relationship with him as well. My question is if he is straight and not into it then why he let me kiss him and hold him.
Please help me or advice so I can dig into it more.
With Regards,
Preet
Preet
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 18 May 2019, 23:24
Country: Canada (ca)

Please advise me!

Unread postby Preet » 18 May 2019, 23:40

Hi I am a guy. I am in love with another guy, whom I met 5 months ago. He has a gf. I confessed my love for him. He said that I will not regret of being in love with him. He doesn’t wanna make any physical relationship. Still he is okay with my feelings and respect those feelings as per he said. He let me hold his hand and let me kiss him special when I am drunk. We are living at same place but not sharing bed rooms.
I wanna move away but he doesn’t let me move out. I am confused with his this kind of behaviour. I do care for him a lot. I like to cook for him, and always let him use my car. I can do anything for him.
Please suggest me what should I do. It’s killing me inside. As I want to have a physical relationship with him as well. My question is if he is straight and not into it then why he let me kiss him and hold him.
Please help me or advice so I can dig into it more.
With Regards,
Preet
Preet
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 18 May 2019, 23:24
Country: Canada (ca)

Re: Please advise me!

Unread postby erti » 18 May 2019, 23:53

Well for one, he can't tell you not to move out. If you want to move out then move out. That sounds controlling to me.

Secondly, he has a girlfriend and even though you two haven't had sex you guys are acting like you two are in a relationship... Does his girlfriend know about this?

I say move out and set your boundaries with him because he's already in a relationship.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 579
+1s received: 446
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: Please advise me!

Unread postby Preet » 19 May 2019, 00:06

No she doesn’t know and he said if he tells her she gonna judge his character. Do you think I should try litttle more before moving out? Thank you for reply. He is in long distance relationship with his gf right now.
Preet
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 18 May 2019, 23:24
Country: Canada (ca)

Re: Please advise me!

Unread postby erti » 19 May 2019, 00:13

Personally I'd just say fuck it move out. You have no business being with him while he's in a relationship and obviously she isn't keen on the idea of being in polyamory relationships.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 579
+1s received: 446
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: Please need some advice!

Unread postby Jryski » 19 May 2019, 04:34

Maybe he's just a really cool straight dude? Iuno it seems like he is flattered by your attention. Im confused as well by his behavior to be honest. If I were in your situation, I would search elsewhere.
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 489
+1s received: 257
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: Please need some advice!

Unread postby Preet » 19 May 2019, 05:09

Thank you for your reply! Do you see any chance here. It’s very confusing and very hard to move.
Preet
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 18 May 2019, 23:24
Country: Canada (ca)

Re: Please need some advice!

Unread postby erti » 19 May 2019, 05:22

Usually when someone is with someone and seeks another relationship outside a monogamous relationship they almost always choose the first relationship.
User avatar
erti
 
Posts: 579
+1s received: 446
Joined: 30 November 2018, 09:58
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Country: United States (us)

Re: Please need some advice!

Unread postby Jryski » 19 May 2019, 05:34

Preet wrote:Thank you for your reply! Do you see any chance here. It’s very confusing and very hard to move.

There might be a chance, you never know. I wouldn't hold my breath for it though. It's not worth it.
User avatar
Jryski
 
Posts: 489
+1s received: 257
Joined: 6 May 2019, 10:00

Re: Please need some advice!

Unread postby Preet » 19 May 2019, 05:38

Thank you
Preet
 
Posts: 6
Joined: 18 May 2019, 23:24
Country: Canada (ca)

Re: Please need some advice!

Unread postby Eryx » 19 May 2019, 15:49

Jryski wrote:Maybe he's just a really cool straight dude? Iuno it seems like he is flattered by your attention. Im confused as well by his behavior to be honest. If I were in your situation, I would search elsewhere.
I'm not confused at all. Dude shares rent with him, uses his car, gets free affection and cuddles all while keeping his girlfriend. It's pretty clear his "friend" is using him, and sucking him dry.

I'd move out ASAP and try to find someone who can actually reciprocate and respect your feelings.
Image

Image Image

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.
— Harlan Ellison
User avatar
Eryx
 
Posts: 2071
+1s received: 1021
Joined: 20 December 2012, 21:48
Location: Belo Horizonte, MG
Country: Brazil (br)

Re: Please advise me!

Unread postby xeil » 19 May 2019, 22:46

It's sounds sketchy to me too. I can't quite understand it. Maybe try to talk about it and let him know why you don't feel comfortable? In any case I wouldn't hope for something more, and if you don't feel comfortable in this situation you should move out and let it go.
User avatar
xeil
 
Posts: 98
+1s received: 16
Joined: 25 December 2012, 21:54
Location: Italy
Country: Italy (it)

Re: Please advise me!

Unread postby Thephoenixmexican » 21 May 2019, 07:02

Yeah man, it sounds like this guy is just using you. Leave him, you'll find someone way better!
Thephoenixmexican
 
Posts: 82
+1s received: 1
Joined: 28 April 2016, 21:44
Location: Phoenix
Country: United States (us)


Recently active
Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot], erti, Jryski, Seznam [Bot] and 19 guests