Pre-maturely messaging an old fling?

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Pre-maturely messaging an old fling?

Unread postby Polsthyme » 8 November 2021, 02:34

When's it acceptable to message an old fling?

Then: ~5 years ago I had about a month of dates/flings with a dorky gent, and due to a handful of life-interrupting events, we stopped seeing each other. When things smoothed out he'd disappeared, and I'd met someone else- which lasted 4.5 yrs, then fell apart (heavy substance abuse on their part). Quite alot in that 4.5 yrs I thought about where he'd gone, and what he was up to.

Now: I've peeked his fb, and he's out of town on business, but is back in December. I've set Grindr's explore to where he is- and was tempted to just start chatting him up that way.

Needed Advice: is this already too pre-meditated to just reach out and say hi at all?Should I slap my own wrist until he's back?

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Re: Pre-maturely messaging an old fling?

Unread postby acpro » 8 November 2021, 04:06

I wouldn't message him on grindr via explore--that might come off as a bit too eager. I'd probably just text him to be honest. I think it's awesome that you plan to connect with him. There are so many lost opportunities because people are afraid of putting themselves out there--but just f-ing do it, ya know?

What to do you have to lose but someone who might be a bit weirded out, in the worst case scenario.... They'll forget about it in a day just how they forgot about you before. But if they are interested then there's so much more that can happen even if it's just a friendship. Obviously, I don't need to tell you this since you're already planning on contacting him lol... Also, if you don't have his number, hit him up on FB.
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Re: Pre-maturely messaging an old fling?

Unread postby PopTart » 8 November 2021, 19:48

Ac is right. Being surreptitious and doing things in a sort of underhanded manner, isn't how you want to start ( or renew) something. It sets the tone going forward and that is definately the wrong tone.

Be upfront. He either shoots you down or he is happy to hear from you. Take a chance.
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