R.I.P. Richard

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R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby erti » 20 June 2019, 05:46

So, I had a friend who had recently passed away. Tomorrow is his funeral. I'm crushed. I'm thinking of him so much. Me and my ex were talking about him not too long ago. My ex told me when I was in Cincinnati during a hospital stay, my ex said how he was discussing it with Richard... without skipping a beat he said, "Well, let's go down to Cincinnati tonight"... him and my ex drove from Columbus to Cincinnati (about an hour and a half drive) just to visit me in the hospital.

A couple years ago me and Richard were talking every day for a while. I told him I'm starting to develop feelings for him. This was a couple years after me and my ex had broken up. He told me he wasn't able to be in a relationship because he wouldn't be able to be there for that person if he was. At the time I knew he was having health issues and it was pretty severe. He needed a new liver. Thinking about it now he probably knew he was going to die in the near future. He promised me a movie and dinner. Even offered to pay for it. I refused to let him pay for it even though I was out of money and asked to borrow money from my mom to pay for my movie and dinner.

Just still I can't help but think it should of been me and not him. With mental illness you have a tendency to take life for granted. I don't deserve to live while he died because of it. It eats at me. We lost contact with each other after he deleted his Facebook almost a year ago only to find out a couple days ago he passed away about a couple weeks ago from cancer. I hadn't had contact with him after he deleted his Facebook because I didn't have his number or knew where he live. I guess that's the kind of guy he was... a big heart but rather take on his illness alone. I didn't think much of it because he deleted his Facebook and reactivated it again before. I regret not being there for him like he was there for me. He will be forever missed. :cry: :heart:
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby mxguy01 » 20 June 2019, 05:49

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby Iamjava » 20 June 2019, 16:48

hope the funeral goes well for you. im assuming therell be someone there for you to cling to. at least i hope. ill be waiting here for you when you get back. :hug:

on second thought, i may be working. dont hesitate to text if i am. ;)
Beer.
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby Eryx » 21 June 2019, 16:57

I'm so, so sorry, erti! It's never easy :(
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby RJD » 21 June 2019, 19:43

I'm so sorry Erti; I don't know if you subscribe to the idea of sending sentiments/feelings/vibes, but I'm sending some!
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby erti » 22 June 2019, 00:23

Thanks guys... <3

Yesterday was hard. My ex, his mom, and me went the the funeral. It was over 2 maybe 3 hour service of singing and praising god. I'm not a Christian but it was a beautiful service. Told my ex that I didn't want to go home right away so we stopped and got something to eat. I've been asleep all day today struggling to find a purpose on staying up. Probably a mixture of meds and grief. Hopefully this year would get better. At least my friend isn't in pain anymore.
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby Jryski » 22 June 2019, 02:44

*hugs* :(
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby erti » 24 June 2019, 14:25

https://youtu.be/hPVx7IazcEw?t=145

Wherever we are, we'll be with you
We'll never forget shining starlight
Wherever you are, live in my heart
We'll never forget shooting star
Wherever we are, we'll be with you
We'll never forget shining starlight
Wherever you are, live in my heart
We'll never forget shining star...
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby RJD » 24 June 2019, 19:01

I’m not exactly the sort who can usually just listen to a call and suddenly feel solace or better or whatever, but I will say that I do play this one pretty often after a death that hits me hard.


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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby lightnight » 24 June 2019, 20:02

I'm so sorry. It sucks how permanent death is and it sucks how we love them so much because of how they make our lives our lives and yet we have to move on.. It never feels fair.
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby erti » 24 June 2019, 20:41

RJD wrote:I’m not exactly the sort who can usually just listen to a call and suddenly feel solace or better or whatever, but I will say that I do play this one pretty often after a death that hits me hard.


[Video]


That's a beautiful song... Thanks for sharing it with me :heart:
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Re: R.I.P. Richard

Unread postby erti » 24 June 2019, 20:46

lightnight wrote:I'm so sorry. It sucks how permanent death is and it sucks how we love them so much because of how they make our lives our lives and yet we have to move on.. It never feels fair.


No it's never fair. Especially since he lost his life at the age of 29 years old. He'd would of been 30 in a few days. With all the health issues he dealt with all his life. I never thought much of it. Though he'd at least live another 30 years. Shows how much you should cherish those close to you before they're gone forever.
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