Relationship Communication Issue

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Relationship Communication Issue

Unread postby Northern_Music » 10 February 2020, 00:02


I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and have been dating a guy for a couple of months who isn’t on the spectrum. He went to a party last night. He told me that he was going and that he was going to get drunk at the party, and we had agreed that he would text me when he got back to his place.

I woke up midway throughout the night and I saw a bunch of texts from him but not one in which said he was back safe, and I spent the next few hours freaking out. I sent him a text, and a couple of hours later he responded saying that he had spent the night at the place of his friend who had put on the party. I was beyond relieved when I saw it and it felt like I could breathe again, but at the same time I’ve been hurting all day because he didn’t check in and I was worried that something awful had happened to him. I want him to know this, not because I want him to feel guilty at all, but because for me — maybe because I’m on the spectrum or maybe because this is the first time we’ve been in this situation —I was extremely worried.

I’d mostly like to know if I was overreacting in being as worried as I was, and if my reaction of wanting to tell him how worried I was is an overreaction. Is it appropriate to talk with him about this, and if so, what’s your advice on how to best communicate my feelings in this situation? If you have any similar experiences you're willing to share, hearing those would be appreciated!

Thank you in advance!
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Re: Relationship Communication Issue

Unread postby Eryx » 10 February 2020, 14:44

From my personal experience, he probably just forgot because he was too drunk or too tired. My grandma asks me to check in with her every time I go out too, and sometimes I just forget. It sucks because I don't want her to worry, but it's also not something that's always on your mind when you're out and about.

He should be more careful, but you should also work on not getting that worried. It's more likely that nothing bad happens than for there to be some kind of emergency, so just focus on that.

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Re: Relationship Communication Issue

Unread postby Frigid » 10 February 2020, 16:25

This situation is likely to happen again in the future, so try to think about why you got so worried and what you can rationally do, as yourself or as a couple, to mitigate or resolve it.
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