Relationship, Depression, and Sex.

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Relationship, Depression, and Sex.

Unread postby Sophie6201 » 23 January 2020, 04:06

Hey everyone!
I am Sophie and I am new here. I've had some things I've been struggling with recently. My beautiful girlfriend of 4 years has had up and down battles with depression. I have too- but I don't think mine is quite as deep.
Anyway- our sex life is nearly non-existent. Between physical issues that cause pain on a daily basis, and depression....I know it's a recipe for disaster. She says she feels overstimulated and sometimes can't focus etc and constantly reassures me it's nothing to do with me. I genuinely believe that, especially after some research I've done- this is a common issue connected with depression. She says I don't initiate anymore but.....I almost feel nervous to do so if she isn't enjoying it/ it's painful.

Sometimes it makes me feel neglected, undesired, not sexy, etc. Sometimes it hurts...even though I know it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! I know sex truly is a very important part of relationships. This "lull" we are having doesn't change how I feel about her etc. Somedays I just struggle with it. So- I am wondering, have any of you been on either side of this type of situation? And what did you do to get through it, and what was the best way to be supportive of your partner? If you've been on the depression side, what are some recommendations?

Thank you, new friends! :heart:
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Re: Relationship, Depression, and Sex.

Unread postby RenĂ© » 23 January 2020, 07:36

Hey Sophie! Welcome to the forum :keke: glad to have you with us.

You might like to post an introduction thread in the intro section, maybe following this template to let us know a little more about yourself :)

I hope you don't mind I deleted the copy of your thread in the Sex and Sexuality section and left just this one as this seems like the most appropriate location, and this way all the responses will be in one place.

Has your girlfriend had any hormone blood tests done? For example, high prolactin (or even prolactin near the high end of what is considered the normal range) would suppress the production of sex hormones and reduce libido, and there is a very simple treatment for this: cabergoline, which reliably increases libido while usually causing no or only minimal side effects (unlike bromocriptine which is also used for this purpose but is usually much less well-tolerated).

And is she getting any treatment for her depression? I should note that the most commonly used antidepressants (SSRIs) are not very effective for most people and usually cause/worsen sexual problems (and weight gain), but there are others available that can actually alleviate sexual dysfunction (and promote weight loss), like bupropion, also known as Wellbutrin.
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