Relationship Help

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Relationship Help

Unread postby rdpursle » 27 August 2021, 23:57

Hey Everyone!
I am trying this out in hopes to get some advice! I have been with my current boyfriend for almost two years. I am 29 and he is 42. Hes never been married but has been with women in the past. He really wasn't out to anyone but his parents when we started dating. I am out to everyone in my family. I was honest with him in the beginning of our relationship on what I was looking for. I wanted someone that was out to everyone so we didn't have to hide and a real relationship and life with someone. We have had our ups and downs especially about coming out to other people. I have given him his space and let him do it on his own and I told him I would let him have his space on doing it but my goal was to find someone to marry and live with and have a normal relationship not hidden. So if he didnt want to come out I would have to move on eventually. He has told a few other family members and other close family about our relationship. They welcomed me with open arms. He has told a couple friends of his and they were happy. He is very straight acting and everyone he has told was honestly surprised he was gay. We are going on almost two years and he tells me he loves me and we are planning on moving in together in a couple years and hes mentioned marriage. But things are still hard for him when talking about our relationship to others or even me. He has never called me his boyfriend, he has said partner but most of the time he just says this is the person i am with and then getting him to say that is hard. Some people i think he is scared to tell. He says he doesn't care who knows because it doesn't matter what others think as long as he is happy. But he still tells some people I am a friend and it really bothers me. A month ago I explained how when he says I am just a friend it makes me feel like hes ashamed of me or ashamed of what we have and he said he understood but today he was talking to someone and mentioned me as a friend and it just makes me question everything. Am I being fed lies? How can we move in together if he is still telling people I am a friend? How are we even going to get married if he cant tell people who he is with. Even the doctor who doesnt even know him he says friend to. He is not an affectionate person in public at all we don't hold hands and even pictures we dont stand all that close together (which is okay i dont have to have that). We do post pictures of us together on facebook or be tagged in them I should say and we go on vacations together and he even jokes that people have to know because of all of our pictures together all the time thru-out the week and on weekends. But its hard to stand there and hear him say i am a friend knowing that is what I am not. If i try to talk to him about it he says I am trying to mold him and take him out of his comfort zone and if I mention my comfort zone it goes to "well maybe I am not the person for you!". So I am at a lost on what to do.
rdpursle
 
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Joined: 27 August 2021, 23:35
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