Some advice for advancing?

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Some advice for advancing?

Unread postby OlOf28 » 3 July 2021, 22:57

First of all, sorry if my English is faulty (and thanks Google Translate :) ).

So here is my story: I'm gay but not "widely" open yet (I've always thought it's weird that you have to make a thing about liking guys). I'm also an athlete, and sport is not the easiest place to be gay.

I have a crush on a person who plays sports in the same club/team as me. When he switched to the club a few years ago, I stalked him a bit and thought he looked really good, but when we met at training we didn't talk that much (he is a few years younger and have some other friends). Already from the beginning I thought he could be gay but I wasn't convinced. We trained a lot in the same group over the past year and become a bit closer friends but still at a basic level.

Now, at the beginning of the summer, we were at the same training camp, and then something had happened. We talked a bit more (there were not so many young people at the camp) but also it was the eye contact. We had quite intense eye contact, both when we talked and when we did not, every time we would meet,train or hang out. I also know he glanced at me and looked away when I saw it. I tried to see if he had the same eye contact with others (his closer friends) but am quite sure it was just me. I responded in the same way by keeping eye contact and trying to hang out more with him. I really felt that we had a connection and would like to know if there could be more to our relation.

We will not see eachother for the rest of the summer as we work in different towns, but in the autumn we will definitely train in the same group again. I want to know what he feels but don't want it to be wird between us since the training and my (other) friends there is important to me.

One idea I have is to come out to our mutual friends (i'm ready), they would probably, maybe he willmake the next move if he knows I'm gay and feels ready? Or should I come out when he's around (together with our friends) to see his reaction? Should I send him a message, if so, now or at the end of the summer? Maybe I should take it easy to wait and see if the vibe continues or if it was a one time thing? What do you think I should do?
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Re: Some advice for advancing?

Unread postby Eryx » 6 July 2021, 23:25

If you're going to come out anyway, do it in front of him, you'll be able to gauge his reaction better and go from there. Most times though, you won't get anything out of it. People are really good at masking their own feelings in situations like this and he might do so as well.

But, if he's gay and attracted to you, I do think coming out will be helpful to figure out if he feels the same. Don't get your hopes up too much, anyway. There are more straight guys than gay, and he still needs to like you after you luck out on that aspect. Plus, sports. Even less likely for there to be another gay dude available, but then again, it seems things in your generation have chilled out a bit on that front.

Good luck and let us know! Remember you're coming out for yourself and your happiness, if he steps up that's collateral.
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