Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

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Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby lightnight » 23 October 2019, 20:46

Just wanted to make a thread about this forum's members relationships with themselves.

Seems kind of like a self care thread, right? I think self care is a narrower term. When I read self care I get the mental image of someone relaxing and treating themselves.

I think the purpose of this thread is that just like relationships with others, our relationships with ourselves can go through good and bad times and maybe in this space we can write how we are doing something wrong with ourselves and how we can change it. Maybe others can give their input too.

Or we can write about what we are doing right with our bodies and minds. Something that has improved our relationships.



Or we could dump it in the wasteland idk.
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby NvM » 25 October 2019, 00:10

fear not
lightnight wrote:Just wanted to make a thread about this forum's members relationships with themselves...
Or we could dump it in the wasteland idk.



so important how we judge our selves as it sets the bar for what we do to others.
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby lightnight » 25 October 2019, 17:18

I don't understand what you're trying to say here lol.
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby Jzone » 25 October 2019, 18:24

Nice idea for a thread, Lightnight. Maybe not as catchy as what fuels your erection, so we'll see if it continues.

Your relationship with yourself is the only one you are guaranteed to have throughout your life. My own experience has been a roller coaster ride from self love (or at least appreciation) to hyper criticism. I have gone through months at a time when I could hardly meet my eyes in a mirror, and times when I have been inordinately impressed by my own thoughts. Right now I am in a good place in relationship with myself, and working on smoothing out some of the highs and lows. I don't want to eliminate them — that's not healthy either — but reducing the extremes can be a good thing.

A good tool I came across a few years ago is the acronym, DWELLS —
  • Diet - good nutrition fuels a healthy emotional life
  • Water - constant mild dehydration leads to all sorts of physical and emotional health issues
  • Exercise - you don't have to be a gym rat, but our bodies need movement
  • Light - get outside, buy a full-spectrum happy light for the winter if necessary
  • Laughter - the best medicine
  • Sleep - "sleep hygiene" is one of the most overlooked aspects of self-care

Establishing good habits in each of these is like a savings account, giving you a cushion for when times get rough for whatever reason. Now I notice when I start to neglect any of these, and recognize it as a warning of emotional negativity.
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby Eryx » 27 October 2019, 05:56

Your thread was empty when I saw it for the first time, and I never replied because I felt my contribution should be meaningful. Somehow, the idea of a community diary feels more comfortable to me than what we had on GTF, where everyone had a thread.

I'm kind of lost right now but in a good and comfortable way. This is the first time I'm majoring in something I know of, and my grades reflect on that. I feel good about myself, my body and I feel I am a good person. New things are happening, however, in response to that. I'm being perceived differently, I'm being more targeted, and I can't even make any sense of it.

I wish I could put things into words a little more coherently than what I'm doing right now, but I'm not sure yet, it's all just kind of new and I'm terrified of sounding childish or condescending about it. I'll try again later.
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby lightnight » 27 October 2019, 19:33

Jzone wrote:Your relationship with yourself is the only one you are guaranteed to have throughout your life. My own experience has been a roller coaster ride from self love (or at least appreciation) to hyper criticism. I have gone through months at a time when I could hardly meet my eyes in a mirror, and times when I have been inordinately impressed by my own thoughts. Right now I am in a good place in relationship with myself, and working on smoothing out some of the highs and lows. I don't want to eliminate them — that's not healthy either — but reducing the extremes can be a good thing.

A good tool I came across a few years ago is the acronym, DWELLS —
  • Diet - good nutrition fuels a healthy emotional life
  • Water - constant mild dehydration leads to all sorts of physical and emotional health issues
  • Exercise - you don't have to be a gym rat, but our bodies need movement
  • Light - get outside, buy a full-spectrum happy light for the winter if necessary
  • Laughter - the best medicine
  • Sleep - "sleep hygiene" is one of the most overlooked aspects of self-care

Establishing good habits in each of these is like a savings account, giving you a cushion for when times get rough for whatever reason. Now I notice when I start to neglect any of these, and recognize it as a warning of emotional negativity.


Thank you for your response.

When you wrote that your relationship with yourself has had many highs and lows, I definitely related to that. I'm sure most of us did, honestly. It really is like an investment and it takes work to maintain a positive self image. I like the DWELLS acronym too .

If we take that as a standard, the rest of these things are okay, but diet and sleep are the things I need to work on. I try with diet but I can only sleep 5,6 hours most days.
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby lightnight » 27 October 2019, 19:43

Eryx wrote:Your thread was empty when I saw it for the first time, and I never replied because I felt my contribution should be meaningful. Somehow, the idea of a community diary feels more comfortable to me than what we had on GTF, where everyone had a thread.

I'm kind of lost right now but in a good and comfortable way. This is the first time I'm majoring in something I know of, and my grades reflect on that. I feel good about myself, my body and I feel I am a good person. New things are happening, however, in response to that. I'm being perceived differently, I'm being more targeted, and I can't even make any sense of it.

I wish I could put things into words a little more coherently than what I'm doing right now, but I'm not sure yet, it's all just kind of new and I'm terrified of sounding childish or condescending about it. I'll try again later.


It doesn't have to necessarily be a community diary... In the sense that nobody has to write regularly or about random things on their mind. I've done that in the past and I don't think it's very productive.

I think if we only posted our strategies that we've learned to keep our relationship with ourselves good, or when we need any kind of help, it would be useful for the community.


I'm glad that you have settled on a major. It's so cool to have purpose. I hope you do really well in that field.

I don't know what you mean by being targeted, but I think you can discern positive criticism from negative one and just focus on what's important, i.e., your own path. All the best to you!
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby rogonandi » 28 October 2019, 04:43

My relationship with myself is pretty much what you would expect. It’s almost completely determined by what I see and what I have to deal with at the present time.

The past has already happened so aside from learning from mistakes, it’s useless to worry about. The future is a nightmarishly dark tunnel filled with hardship, but since it’s unavoidable, it’s useless to dread it or whine about it.
People love to follow fools; they don't feel so alone then.

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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby Capt._Trips » 30 October 2019, 22:49

I've currently been A bit depressed. Just in my own head a lot lately.

Ill try and respond to some dm's on Friday.
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Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been."_____ the grateful dead.

Edna St. Vincent Millay — 'My candle burns at both ends;It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—It gives a lovely light!'
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby LostGuy94 » 31 October 2019, 10:53

I'm very much up and down mood wise.

One issue I have is the constant feeling of being alone, trying my best to fight it and try and do stuff with other people but can only go so far, the efforts and frustrations that come along with Grindr don't help nor does some of the drama that some of my friends are providing me with.

Always up for a chat about just anything really, feel free to drop me a message on here if you want to :thumbsup:
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby lightnight » 4 November 2019, 03:03

rogonandi wrote:My relationship with myself is pretty much what you would expect. It’s almost completely determined by what I see and what I have to deal with at the present time.

The past has already happened so aside from learning from mistakes, it’s useless to worry about. The future is a nightmarishly dark tunnel filled with hardship, but since it’s unavoidable, it’s useless to dread it or whine about it.


That seems to be a pretty rational way to go about, like, accepting the present and not worrying about the past and the future. I value the merits of this. It saves you from a lot of emotional problems.
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Re: Space Where you can Share a bit of your Relationship with Yourself

Unread postby lightnight » 4 November 2019, 03:23

LostGuy94 wrote:I'm very much up and down mood wise.

One issue I have is the constant feeling of being alone, trying my best to fight it and try and do stuff with other people but can only go so far, the efforts and frustrations that come along with Grindr don't help nor does some of the drama that some of my friends are providing me with.

Always up for a chat about just anything really, feel free to drop me a message on here if you want to :thumbsup:


I hope you find really good company and you value the time spent with them.

I think Grindr and others are definitely useful for us gays despite matching up with the majority of people whose intentions might not match yours but that's pretty much how it's like IRL too. Just keep searching and best of luck I guess.

I hope your friends drama sorts out too. In my experience, friendships don't remain the same over the course of time and it's okay.

If you have time in your daily schedule, do try enrolling in a class that can enhance some skill of yours. I don't know if it's a universal thing or not but spending time working towards a common goal can open people up to each other and you can make new friendships or relationships along the way. I struck surprisingly good friendships when I was in a class two years ago.
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