Still In Love

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Still In Love

Unread postby Tomboy4 » 27 May 2020, 07:19

So where to begin. My ex and I have started to become friends after a many trying, challenging, heartbreaking, bad blood& back stabbing months. Things seem to be going well. We talk, text or ft almost everyday now just to talk about nothing in particular, Talking upwards to an hour or more, we laugh, joke & sometimes remaness and we spend a lot more time together. We’ve even spent the night at each other’s homes and slept in same bed(no sex) I am trying to be respectful but also have her see me differently & maybe fall in love again. We met online and fell madly in love, we rarely spent a day apart. We dated 4 years, My ex ask me to marry her 6 months into our relationship and gave me a ring. I said yes. We never moved in together though she asked me to live with her, I loved were I lived& I wasn’t ready.She would stay long stretches with me & I would do the same. We have so much in common and seem to get each other, we had similar childhoods and are both in our late 40’s. My ex broke up with me bc we would argue and our relationship had grown strained& distant. In the two years I’ve gone on dates with other women but my heart still feels love for my ex so I never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone. 6 months after we broke up my ex was with someone& 6 months into their relationship they exchanged rings 7 months into their relationship they broke up bc my ex was to controlling& the jealous type according to the other woman. 2 months after they broke up she found some one else but they broke up 4 months later. The other woman Said she criticized & was to harsh with her opinions. Both women made true statements but I’ve known my ex for 6 yrs now so I guess I just know how she is. I’ve told my ex in the past how I still loved her& would like to get back together but she never really acknowledges it or just says she doesn’t trust me anymore, though I’ve never cheated. I am loyal& devoted to a fault. I can see she enjoys our time together & even said we should take a short road trip this summer. I’d do anything for her & she knows it. Its just hard bc she doesn’t really give me a lot to go on. i can see& tell she has fun in things we do& I’ll say I had fun doing??? I don’t hear a me to or anything else I could go on. She says she’s not looking for a relationship she’s been hurt to much, just wants friends, however she has always said that but then ends up with someone. I don't want to get hurt if she starts dating someone else instead of Me knowing how badly I wanted a do over, should i not waste my time on the dream& move on or move toward my dream? I’ve work a lot on myself and know where I failed& own my responsibility to our break up. We got matching tattoos with our names a year into our relationship & she’s yet to cover hers as she has in the past with another exs name.( an ex before me) does it seem platonic or ??? I need something. It took a long time to feel okay again& spend time with her is great, but I don’t want to hurt like I did. Any suggestions? If I confront her again do risk losing what we’ve built.
Tomboy4
 
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Re: Still In Love

Unread postby Frigid » 28 May 2020, 15:48

Stop chasing her and see if she comes to you instead. If she doesn’t, then she only wants you as a friend.

I do feel concern that two partners broke up with her after a short time due to abuse, and that you feel comfortable with that abuse. I think letting yourself be truly loved by someone else might be more healing than pining after her.
poolerboy0077 wrote:Aren’t you a vegetarian? I hear your people’s farts are quite lethal. It doesn’t matter much if a volcano’s lip is clean when there lava pit is ready to burst at any unexpected moment.
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Re: Still In Love

Unread postby Tomboy4 » 30 May 2020, 07:15

I have gone without reaching out to her and she always contacts me if she doesn’t hear from me most always ft or calls. I don’t recall saying anything about abuse other than she can be insecure(jealous) at times who isn’t at times? And yes a bit controlling( or opinionated). I’m not okay with a as by form of abuse or rudeness & she knows I don’t tolerate her crap anymore and I call things as I see them. I tell her exactly what shes doing, But I have seen a change in her, perhaps she’s been trying to fix herself & self realization that two breakups in such a short time& all with similar issues that it must be her. I don’t pine over her, fantasize or day dream “what if” I enjoy the friendship& love her differently as we’ve become better friends. I don’t want to ruin our friendship on a possible love connection. Months ago I did want a reconciliation but now I am happier as friends. I’m still single bc I find it challenging finding anyone that I feel comfortable with, have something in common with or feel some kind of chemistry with all important to me.
Tomboy4
 
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Joined: 27 May 2020, 01:44
Country: United States (us)


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