Talking to others

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Talking to others

Unread postby QatarAirways2 » 7 March 2019, 20:26

Hey
Ever since coming out I have encountered a weird phenomenon.....I suddenly have much harder time connecting and talking to other guys....
Even the most normal conversations....something in the back of my mind always thinking weather there is something else behind the conversation or not....is it going to get better or not?

Plus, I think Im getting more naive by the day....just struggling to read social situations that were once crystal clear.

It suddenly became so different and difficult to maintain a normal friendship....with no string attached...why is suddenly meeting someone one on one has become so weird? We are both guy....and perhaps gays ...so what...Im not attracted to every guy I see....

Is it totally wrong to try a move on a guy thats a good friend of your ex/ now friend/ not sure where we stand ......tried it once and didnt go so well....but I have a huge crush on one of his other friends.....
Why things has to be sooooooo complicated...
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Re: Talking to others

Unread postby JohnSalvatore » 24 April 2019, 19:05

I totally feel the same. Even though I came out a few years ago, I still get confused talking to other guys. Especially now everyone knows me as the gay guy. So they tend to flirt for fun, because they think it’s funny.
I have been feeling like this for a while now. And at this moment I even don’t know id a gay guy is flirting, or just joking around because we are both gay.
Due to this problem I’m still single after 5 years..
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Re: Talking to others

Unread postby Eryx » 25 April 2019, 09:41

I struggle with that sometimes as well, but it has gotten better over time. I think the reason I feel strange when talking to other guys who know I'm gay is that I always try to make it clear that I'm not attracted to them in that way, and that they shouldn't feel like I am. I go out of my way to show people that I respect boundaries all the time. It gets annoying sometimes, but nowadays I worry about it less.

It's easier if you're dating someone too, then you can just say "my boyfriend" in the middle of the conversation and people tend to relax a bit.

My close friends have become way more comfortable with me over time after coming out, so there's a good side to it.

All I can say is, try not to worry so much, especially about rejection, because it's normal and it will happen even if you try to make sure it doesn't. If you aren't afraid of rejection and are able to value those who accept you and act warm around you, then everything will become a little easier.
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