Texting / Instagram

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Texting / Instagram

Unread postby Mrblaster23 » 5 September 2019, 15:15

Hey I'm back at it lol

Okay so I'm so happy I found this forum to discuss things I'm not really used to. Moral of the story, I love the guy I'm with but there's certain things that I would like advice on (again) to see if it's really worth sticking with him.

1. He is a bad texter.... when we first met he did tell me he is a bad texter and doesn't like communicating over phone calls or text. It's very hard for me because I am 24 and my generation is all about fast replying and he is 31. Yes, he was honest with me from the beginning but when he says goodnight over what's app and I can see him online on insta / Facebook, it makes me mad... why you ask? I have no idea and don't want to become a crazy boyfriend but it's hard . Obviously at the end of the day, my own happiness should be my priority but how can I learn to date a bad texter?

2. Speaking of Instagram, I got mad at my bf for liking almost naked guys on insta. No I don't creep who and what he is liking everyday but I was on my Instagram feed and his name popped up and I saw what he was liking. I called him out and he told me "it's not like I'm messaging those guys asking to have sex, or jerking off to them
Or anything. It's a simple like and I move on". Yes I do understand that but shouldn't he have some decency to not be obsessed with his followers / likes to go an like a shirtless picture of guys just to gain a follower?

We are completely different people but I'm starting to think compatibility may not be a big factor in this relationship. I really don't want to be controlling with the whole Grindr thing and now this but I'm just trying to wrap my head around it and ask fellow gays if it's something I need to get used to or it's something not normal in a gay relationship (I'm learning everyday).
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Re: Texting / Instagram

Unread postby Jryski » 6 September 2019, 10:50

Personally I'd leave. I hate bad texters because usually they're not bad at texting, they just can't handle the responsibility/expectations of having to respond. My ex does that. Funny how bad texters are excellent at responding when they need something from you. Some people really are bad texters like me. But I prioritize. People that are important to me I try my best to respond to no matter what. Online friends and stuff can wait a few hours or a day. Real bad texters are bad at texting because they either don't live on their phone or they're introverts and being connected to so many people at once overwhelms them and they need to take a break after a bit. When a boyfriend doesn't respond but is on ig liking photos of other guys, he just doesn't give enough of a damn about you. 1 word, priorities.
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Re: Texting / Instagram

Unread postby NvM » 6 September 2019, 13:25

you had a life before all this started so its time to go back.
be calm organized, thank him for the good times.
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Re: Texting / Instagram

Unread postby mxguy01 » 6 September 2019, 20:23

What the others said but let me chime in"

Mrblaster23 wrote:... bad texter.... when we first met he did tell me he is a bad texter and doesn't like communicating over phone calls or text.

Is texter a word? LoL Ok, I tend to prefer texting over phone. Written is simply better. Someone unwilling to do either is unwilling to communicate!?#@%$^^*^&!!!


It's very hard for me because I am 24 and my generation is all about fast replying

There I say get over yourself because others have lives. Maybe your looking for someone with nothing better to do in their life but that would be weird to me.


he says goodnight over what's app and I can see him online on insta / Facebook, it makes me mad... why you ask? I have no idea and don't want to become a crazy boyfriend but it's hard .

Well don't become that crazy boyfriend. I ditched one not so long back and he still won't give it up. That was the reason I ditched him. Way too much maintenance. So what it perhaps his way of winding down is reading online.


Obviously at the end of the day, my own happiness should be my priority but how can I learn to date a bad texter?

I saw what he was liking.

Ok, looking is one thing but liking is on the weird side, again. And yes agree about the obsession thing.

I called him out and he told me "it's not like I'm messaging those guys asking to have sex, or jerking off to them
Or anything. It's a simple like and I move on". Yes I do understand that but shouldn't he have some decency to not be obsessed with his followers / likes to go an like a shirtless picture of guys just to gain a follower?

We are completely different people

Bells, whistles and alarms are ringing again.

but I'm starting to think compatibility may not be a big factor in this relationship.

Sounds more like your trying to bs yourself into accepting the situation.

the whole Grindr thing and now this

And what's not yet telling you time to move on???

I'm just trying to wrap my head around it and ask fellow gays if it's something I need to get used to or it's something not normal in a gay relationship (I'm learning everyday).

It's not a matter if it is normal or not. The question I'd ask you is do you really want to stick with a guy who is at this point in your relationship, throwing every signal he's really not that interested in you (for whatever reason) and is at a minimum window shopping, quite possibly for your replacement. But that's your call.
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Re: Texting / Instagram

Unread postby Eryx » 9 September 2019, 04:03

I don't think that not being very talkative on WhatsApp, on its own, is a bad thing. My boyfriend is also bad at texting but not because he's lazy or lacks communication skills, it's just that he still prefers calling to sending me a message. It's very different when we're in front of each other. I've learned to accept that he's very direct when texting and he's told me he enjoys my attention for texting more frequently, so we've found a middle ground.

The Instagram thing, though... Just disrespectful. I have a folder for guys I find attractive, I save their pictures when I find them online, but a like is direct interaction, and it's a whole different thing. You have the right to be offended and annoyed by that.
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